Fall Away From Me, Poem |
Fall Away From Me, Poem |
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#1
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![]() Crying Behind Blind Eyes ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967 ![]() |
Sorry, this poem really sucks, I even tried singing it as a song. I dunno, it's like I had two ideas in my head and tried to join them together. It didn't really work out all that well.
Fall Away From Me By: Savannah I wouldn't mind if you told me, I was your everything, your only. If you said that you loved me, I swear I'd break free from this frame. I swear that for you I could feel, And for you...one day I could be real. If you wanted me to be, I'd become your fairy-tale princess, I would steal your heart away, I would be your April rains, And the flowers in May. Just tell me that I'm yours... And for you I would be sweet, And I would be kind, I would never sin. For you I'd be anything, I'd be everything, Is it true that you think I'm your world? I'm your life, and I'm important? Please...don't say that, I can't replace your universe. I wish I could, I wish I could be everything for you, I'd love to make you happy, and make you smile. If I said I could change, I'd be lying. So, the best thing I can do for you now, The only thing I can think to do... Is set you free. I'm sorry I can't be real, I'm sorry I can't be the pretty princess, That you wish I could be. I can't be your universe, and I can't be your love. I can't break free from the frame that holds me. In the end, I have to ask you to... Forget me; leave me behind, Neglect my feelings for you. Omit my memories of you. Overlook that kiss we shared that day, It's all become so far away... Fall away from me... |
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#2
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![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,795 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,421 ![]() |
It sucks? You must remember that your standards are far higher than ours..
I think its great.. For a song.. I can see parts of it working, but I would agree that the song part needs refinement.. |
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*tyedyefroggy* |
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#3
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that is a good poem, it really shows the main point that the author is trying to show others...
kutos to you for trying to make it into a song, i agree with EmeraldKnight, when it comes to song part, it does need some "refinement".....but hey, it doesnt hurt to try, eh? ![]() LaterZ -Courtney |
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