Attending weddings, With your boyfriend. Options

[lilxroxy]

So, my boyfriend of 6 months invited me to go to his cousin's wedding with him in late October...
While I'm thrilled and honored, I am also incredibly wary.
You see, in my opinion I feel like this is something on the serious side.
After telling one of my really close conservative friend about this today, she was kind of skeptical and told me that she doesn't think it's a good idea. Mainly because it would make me seem like I'm a girl without manners?
I don't know.

If I go, I will be staying with him at his uncle's house (in the basement while his brother takes the guest room).
I'm Asian and my boyfriend is Caucasian so there's definitely some culture gap despite the fact that I'm a third cultured kid.

What do you guys think? Is this a big deal or am I overthinking the entire situation? Should I go or not? And what are some wedding etiquette that I should be aware of?

[Tomates]

I went to a wedding a few days ago with my boyfriend for his cousin. But we've been dating for over than a year and his cousin invited me to it. Also it was in my area so i didn't have to spend the night anywhere else
If i were you i would talk to your parents about it and see what they think. They might not like the fact that you could be spending the night anywhere. However i'm assuming your under 18 at the moment.

[mipadi]

If you were getting married, that would be "serious". But merely going to a wedding with a boyfriend isn't that serious.

[queen]

If you were getting married, that would be "serious". But merely going to a wedding with a boyfriend isn't that serious.

with some asian families (especially the traditional ones), going to any type of formal family gathering with a significant other implies one is willing to take the time to know the other's family, and back in the "olden days" that would usually only happen if there is a promise of marriage. even now, there are asian parents who think this is inappropriate behavior for an underaged girl, especially if the girl would be spending the night, god forbid (sarcasm).

do your parents even know you have a boyfriend? let's start with that.

[karmakiller]

I don't think it's incredibly serious, you're 19 so it's not like the people who are there are going to ask you two when you guys are going to get married (trust me, if you were older and dating a little longer the question could come up). If his extended family knows about you but has never met you it could be a good chance to get to meet them. I don't understand why it would make you seem like you don't have manners, I would think his family would like to get to know you.

If you decide to go, there are two things that might make you uneasy. The first being that you probably don't know anyone there very well (besides your boyfriend, and if you know his parents and/or siblings) but hopefully your boyfriend will let you know what to expect from his family. And the second thing would be if you guys are going to share a room at his uncle's... but I think the type of people they are will kind of determine whether or not that's going to be awkward.

[lilxroxy]

I will be turning 20 before the wedding. We're both college sophomores in Florida and the wedding is going to be in Baltimore, MD.
My mom knows a lot about our relationship details and what not. I think she's okay with me attending the wedding...? It's just we'll be flying up there and as long as I'll find a way to pay for it then it's okay.
What I mean by "without manners" is that I may come off as a girl without chastity or discipline or something of the sort..
I am concerned because I feel like there are always conservative people out there - regardless of their ethnicity background - and I don't want to completely disregard all the details of tradition because I'm acting on impulse and not thinking thoroughly.

[moorepocket]

i don't think it's a bad idea. His family is Caucasian and doesn't think the same way asians do. If you're uncomfortable staying the basement. Why not chipped in a share a hotel while you're in town?

[lilxroxy]

^ I thought about that but would that come off as offensive? :/ And if anything I might as well stay with my aunt, no?

[DoubleJ]

^ I thought about that but would that come off as offensive? :/ And if anything I might as well stay with my aunt, no?

Ok first of it's not that serious. If your mom already knows the details of you guys relationship and she is cool with you going, then what exactly is the problem? I think you're making it a bigger deal than it already is. Have you not been to a formal event before? It is pretty much the same protocol as if you were going to one of those.

[transcendentalis...]

even now, there are asian parents who think this is inappropriate behavior for an underaged girl, especially if the girl would be spending the night, god forbid (sarcasm).

I'm 18 and my parents freak at the idea of me spending the night anywhere. or coming back home past 10pm. It enriches my life greatly.

I don't see why it would be a big deal, unless you're naturally a disagreeable person. Or unless your boyfriend's family = conservative as well.

[moorepocket]

^ I thought about that but would that come off as offensive? :/ And if anything I might as well stay with my aunt, no?

not neccessary. I mean you never met his family. You would be just as uncomfortable there and at your aunt's.