Love vs. Co-dependency Options

[Flightlessbird50]

I've been struggling with my self-esteem for about three years now. I've been working on it, and slowly I've been building it. There's this guy I know I'm not ready for, and who isn't ready for a relationship either. We've been together before. He loves me and I used to think I love him, but I have just been told that I may be emotionally dependent rather than in love. I don't really know if that's true, because I feel like I do love him, but if it is, I'm willing to work on this because I really really care about this person, and I want to be in a happy relationship with them someday.
I just need someone to tell me that at least a little part of me loves him, or that I'm not totally JUST dependent.
This sounds crazy, I know, but I need help.
Thank you.

[libertie]

I really think that if others give you their opinions it still won't change how you feel about the situation. Either way, if you want to be with him badly enough, you'll probably find yourself pursuing him sooner or later. You honestly sound like you've made up your mind. What were the circumstances under which you broke up the first time, if you don't mind me asking? If there were no major problems and you were happy with him, what's the hangup?

[Castaway]

i've thought about this too. I worry that i might fall too much.. just because i haven't been in many relationships and can be very emotional when it comes to love and relationships.

I think i should date more.. meet other girls so that maybe i could know if i'm really in love or if i'm just falling too much because of my emotions towards love and relationships or as you call it, "emotionally dependent."

My suggestion is to give it a try since you like him and see how it goes. If you two love each other then you should have a good, healthy relationship. If it wasnt meant to be then it wasn't meant to be. You learn and get experience from every relationship which is why i think that dating more girls might help me in the future on identifying whether or not i love someone.

Hope you understood that.

[FreakyFellow]

my feeling says you love him

[Flightlessbird50]

I really think that if others give you their opinions it still won't change how you feel about the situation. Either way, if you want to be with him badly enough, you'll probably find yourself pursuing him sooner or later. You honestly sound like you've made up your mind. What were the circumstances under which you broke up the first time, if you don't mind me asking? If there were no major problems and you were happy with him, what's the hangup?

I was way too insecure. It just wasn't fair.

[libertie]

^Then it sounds to me like you don't have anything to lose by giving it another shot. Maybe let him in on your insecurities this time - if he wants to try to help, let him. It'll make you both feel better.

[LittleMissSunshi...]

i think your afraid of being with him. you say you love him but at the same time your independent. you need sometime for yourself, to make sure that you really want to be with him or not. i understand that you need opinions from others to help you make the choice. but if you really think about it, you have to decide on your own that if you really want to be with him. yes, you love him, but that doesn't give you the satisfaction you need, to say "I want to be with him." your having doubts.. you'll figure it out sooner or later (;