Holy crap. wth?, Am I a bad bf? Options

[freeridefight]

Kayk752: gah im soo bad about answering my phone any more


Auto Response from FlyinRyan874: Its supposed to rain and snow all week.

oh yeah I hear a snow day coming around the corner.


Kayk752 returned at 10:18:35 PM.
FlyinRyan874: lol its alright
Kayk752: sorry
FlyinRyan874: I had a freaking great night. not
Kayk752: im guessing wokr
Kayk752: work**
FlyinRyan874: Cody cracked a freezer door. I mean the pane is all cracks.
FlyinRyan874: and Im gonna have to choose whether to say he did it or just lie
Kayk752: what happens if you say he did it?
FlyinRyan874: he probably loses his job
FlyinRyan874: if they ask me, im might just say go ask cody
FlyinRyan874: but hey im loyal to my friends, but I sure dont want him fired
Kayk752: why did he crack it then?
FlyinRyan874: accident. he opened it a little to far and it almost shattered
FlyinRyan874: it looked like the cafeteria window after that fight
Kayk752: awsome
FlyinRyan874: yeah I know.
FlyinRyan874: im on page 10 of metamorphosis
FlyinRyan874: but I know it wont take me long. only 40 more pages and the homework which for me is easy
Kayk752: thats ot good at all
Kayk752: not**
FlyinRyan874: eh its alright
FlyinRyan874: I can sleep till 8:30 and im going to bed at 12
FlyinRyan874: so ill be ok
FlyinRyan874: anyway I wanted to ask you something
Kayk752: good luck with that one!
Kayk752: jjk
Kayk752: am i gonan like this question or should i be scared?
FlyinRyan874: like I dont even care what happened today, I really dont. It doesnt bother me one bit. I know youre still gonna apologize for it but its okay. I was talking to someone today and they were like you guys are like a 3rd grade couple. you guys kinda dont act like you are dating. so am I the person you want to date? and If I am, im not in anyway pressuring you into something. are you just hard to open up to people?
Kayk752 signed off at 10:28:03 PM.
kayk752 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
Kayk752 signed on at 10:30:41 PM.
FlyinRyan874: lol hey bad connection?
Kayk752: yup
FlyinRyan874: lol
Kayk752: it was my fault
FlyinRyan874: lol no it wasnt its alright. u get my message?
Kayk752: well it might not have been but i just got dis-connected too
Kayk752: that would be a negitive to the message
FlyinRyan874: FlyinRyan874: like I dont even care what happened today, I really dont. It doesnt bother me one bit. I know youre still gonna apologize for it but its okay. I was talking to someone today and they were like you guys are like a 3rd grade couple. you guys kinda dont act like you are dating. so am I the person you want to date? and If I am, im not in anyway pressuring you into something. are you just hard to open up to people?
Kayk752: ok i am definalty confused now
FlyinRyan874: Ok
FlyinRyan874: I dont care what happened today, it doesnt bother me that we didnt do anything. but like you dont act like you want to date me. Am I the person you want to date or are you just a person that doesnt open up
Kayk752: well i sorry that you fell that way!!!!!
FlyinRyan874: lol dont apologize, im just asking.
Kayk752: asking what ?
FlyinRyan874: do u not open up to people or what?
Kayk752: no i really dont but i have nothing to open up about really
Kayk752: you know all the problems with my father and right now they arnt getting any freakin better
Kayk752: thats one of the reasons i couldnt come out today
FlyinRyan874: Im not worried about today sweetie.
Kayk752: but if i did have something to "open up" about it would and you and Lindsay would be the only ones to know about it
FlyinRyan874: ok.
Kayk752: ryan...we are having to live on like 2 dollars a week
Kayk752: 20***
Kayk752: thats why weve been spending alot of time out at my grandmas lately
FlyinRyan874: kayla, baby im not worried about all this. I just wanted to know why you were acting so closed in
FlyinRyan874: idk I just felt like a close friend rather than a bf
FlyinRyan874: blahh idk
Kayk752: i honeslty cant tell you why
Kayk752: because im not really sure myself why
Kayk752: i cant open up to people anymore
FlyinRyan874: are you saying this just because I asked you?
FlyinRyan874: like I dont care that we never hang out. dont start apologizing, im just worried why we're acting like we just started dating
FlyinRyan874: like you dont open up about anything...
Kayk752: all i can say here is sorry
Kayk752: and that ill try harder next time
Kayk752: its just real hard to open up to different people when youve been hurt soo many times
Kayk752: and it never gets any freakin better
FlyinRyan874: Pleasee stop aplogizing
FlyinRyan874: you have nothing to say im sorry too
Kayk752: what am i supposed to say here?
FlyinRyan874: im just curious
FlyinRyan874: idk just that you dont open up to people
FlyinRyan874: Im just wondering..
FlyinRyan874: =]
Kayk752: then why not ask lindsay cause i dont know
FlyinRyan874: because you should know. and because im dating you, shouldnt I be able to ask almost anything?
FlyinRyan874: lol wow im sorry now
FlyinRyan874: im just gonna go finish my book
FlyinRyan874: night baby
Kayk752: no no no


Auto Response from FlyinRyan874: Finishing metomorphosis
sleeping till 8:30

<3 kayla


Kayk752: its just somethings i dont have straighten out in my life yet after things have happened
FlyinRyan874: ok thats the only thing I needed to hear..
FlyinRyan874: I just wanted to know
Kayk752: yuo can ask mme anything it just i dont always have the answer
FlyinRyan874: youre so ditzy its cute
Kayk752: ooo boy thnkz
Kayk752: thats a compliment right there
FlyinRyan874: uh yeah
FlyinRyan874: lol
Kayk752: not really man, how about almost an insult
FlyinRyan874: lol no it was a compliment
Kayk752: well it sure didnt sound like one
FlyinRyan874: Jeeeeeeze
FlyinRyan874: kayla it was
FlyinRyan874: I dont think i can talk to you anymore online,
FlyinRyan874: lol you need voice tone to knowthings
FlyinRyan874: lol
Kayk752: whatever then
Kayk752: night

later....

FlyinRyan874: kaylaaa
Kayk752: at? wht
Kayk752: what**
FlyinRyan874: why the heck are you mad at me?
Kayk752: im not
FlyinRyan874: blah
Kayk752: what ?
FlyinRyan874: what do you mean what? darn it kayla you arent even acting like we are dating
Kayk752: OMG
FlyinRyan874: im not mad im just asking!
Kayk752: what as in...what do you want to know, why are you asking, when did this happen
Kayk752: why is this happeneing to me, whay to us ?
FlyinRyan874: jeeze are you breaking down? im just asking a question
Kayk752: yes i am breaking down
FlyinRyan874: Over what!????
Kayk752: idk
FlyinRyan874: baby im just asking a question
Kayk752: i know but...
Kayk752: i dont know what to do anymore, dont know what to say, dont know how to act, dont know how to react to things any freakin more
FlyinRyan874: dont think of how to react just react. I dont understand why you are breaking down after me just asking why you dont open up.
FlyinRyan874: say what you feel darn it
Kayk752: i f**kin do and its never right
Kayk752: soo i stop
FlyinRyan874: baby. you have to act the way you feel or youre never gonna be happy. okay. thats ALL I want from you
FlyinRyan874: to let me talk to a person that doesnt say what she thinks is right
Kayk752: i dont to you, noone else understands
FlyinRyan874: I just want to be there for you but if you dont let me in then how the heck are we going to have a relationship
Kayk752: i have been ryan
Kayk752 went away at 11:20:57 PM.
FlyinRyan874: im gonna go finish my homework. Night babe .love you




Alright, am I a totally horrible bf? (sorry its so long)

[misoshiru]

paraphrase please.

[freeridefight]

1. Pick up a phone or go to her next time. That was way too long.
2. No, she's just really jacked up and it's not like everyone is born Dr. Phil.

How old are you? Take her out someplace. Get her out of the house. Being out and about always helps.

thanks for reading the long ass convo.

17. we dated before and this was the raeson we broke it off. She cant communicate with anyone.

[Castaway]

She doesn't open up?
Well i think you two should talk to each other in person or on the phone about this.

Or just stop and apologize.. Maybe she doesn't know why.. maybe she does. Maybe she knows part of it but not all and she's just confused.
Best way out of this is to just let it go and have fun with your relationship. Go out and do something fun and unique. Talk about those things. These conversations are stressing her and it could lead to another break up. It's only damaging your relationship so far.

say something like.. i'm sorry about all of this, i hope that overtime you will be able to open up to me and i'll just wait until the time comes.. well say that in a way that's more meaningful.

i read so much that i'm not gonna read the other posts lol

[LittleMissSunshi...]

one; who the heck is lindsey? what does she have to do with any of you guys??

second; i'm confused, why did you ask her if she was mad at you?? because the convo before didn't seem like it.. did you guys talk on the phone before that convo?

third; your not a horrible bf, let her open up and stop pressuring her to tell you things. if something ever happens she'll tell you. just let her open, give her time. give her break, you make it seem like 21 questions for her and it's stressing her out. she doesn't know what to say or do, or to act. just take her out, hang out, chill out, go ice skating since it's gonna snow yadi yadi yada. she knows that your there for her, because you said it. just let her know that your the right person to make her happpy (:! your the guy for her to make her forget all the pain and confusion in her mind.. and talking about it doesn't help sometimes. just make her forget it by making her laugh and such. you guys will be fine.

[espressive]

no, you aren't a terrible boyfriend but you are a terrible communicator.

• never talk about this kind of stuff online. at some parts of the conversation, you sounded a bit harsh. i know you probably didn't mean to, but that's the way it sounds when it's read online.
  
• stop giving her ultimatums like "Am I the person you want to date or are you just a person that doesnt open up" what the hell is she suppose to say to that? yes, i'm just a person that doesn't open up? or no, you aren't the person i want to date? instead of asking her why she doesn't open up, ask questions that will make her open up to you. so she's having family problems right? ask her how that situation is, ask if it's gotten better, ask if she needs anything, tell her that you'll be there for her if she ever needs someone to talk to. why don't YOU extend the offer to listen? then perhaps she'll open up more.
  
• stop assuming things like "I dont understand why you are breaking down...." or saying that she's a person that doesn't open up to others. who are you to make the judgment that she's breaking down or an exclusive person? it's not your place to tell her how she feels or how she is. avoid starting sentences with "you (are)...." in this context, because it's intruding and based on assumptions. instead, say something like "i feel that you may be a bit upset. are you upset?" keyword: MAY (she might be, she might not be. it's not assuming anymore) & try phrasing it into a question.
  
• NEVER say things like, "darn it kayla you arent even acting like we are dating". why the hell would she want to open up to you after you said she doesn't do this and doesn't act like that? if anything, they make her shrink back into her little world even more when you make such bold, accusatory statements. and what does that phrase even mean? how is she suppose to act now that you guys are dating? if you're talking about physically, maybe she just isn't a pda type of gal. or maybe she just isn't one of those girly "omg i <3 <3 my bf" type. i don't really know how you expected her to act. but maybe instead of accusing her of not living up to your expectations, why don't you display what you meant TO her? start out small, give her a kiss on the forehead instead of a kiss on the lips. she'll catch on, and if she doesn't, then so be it. but in any case, your relationship should not be based off of what your 'friend' thinks

[Joss-eh-lime]

being on AIM for important and deep conversations doesnt always go well.

i only read the first and third convo, but it seems like you are trying to force her to "open up". don't do that. just focus on hanging out, having fun and becoming better friends. she will eventually open up.

[applejaxkz]

You're an ***hole.

[datass]

wait. wth? you arent JUST asking her why she's not opening to you, you are pressing the subject a lot, you WANT her to open to you. she needs time to do that. like she said, she was hurt before. you need to respect that. and what do you mean you dont feel like you're dating her? close friends instead of dating? come on, is there like a book of outline of what it should feel like, and if its not matching 100% it's not good? that's pathetic. youre an ass and you should go apologize to her. and when she's apologize it, PLEASE, respect her. stop saying "dont apologize", she means it and she's doing it because she cares.

[y0urelectrikk]

you don't sound like a terrible boyfriend.. you seem like you care a lot.. but its kind of annoying in a way (and don't take that offensively, I'm just being brutally honest)

it seems like you asked her like 290348 x about opening up. You made it seem like you were accusing her of something and that you were mad at her for not "opening up" when it seems like she was trying. She answered your question with the "I have nothing to open up about".. but you kept asking. I can see why she got frustrated.

and the ditzy comment.. it was kind of an insult even if you thought you thought were being nice. No girl wants to be told she's ditzy, even if you said it was a cute thing.