Friends with Benefits., Only people who experience this please. (Yes, Aimee has a problem) Options

[AimeeLynn]

http://www.teenwire.com/infocus/2004/if-20...p309-friend.php

Friendship Fallout

Losing that friend is another potential risk of being FWB. "Once you start hooking up with a friend, you are in this weird limbo of not being just friends anymore, but also not being together," explains Mollie. "It's kind of hard to go back to normal if you hooked up." Before you get physical, ask yourself if hooking up is worth the risk of ruining your friendship.

Well I have this problem, I hooked up with a guy that I didn't think anything other than that he was hot and good looking. I didn't think about being a relationship with him nor did he. We both agreed that we are into hook ups more than being in a relationship.
After we hooked up, things felt different. I felt like he was done with me and it's weird just talking to each other. We were good friends until the hook up. He avoiding me and hardly ever talking to me.
When I see him with another girl I feel jealous and stupid.
I felt like I lost a friend just by doing this. I don't care if we don't hook up again (but it would be nice ) but I would want to be friends with him with him not being weird around me.

So how can you deal? How can you become good friends after a hook up?
Guys, after you hook up with a girl, do you still talk to them?

I just want to get it straight. All the guys I have hooked up with I still talk to but I don't know if it's different in college.

[DoubleJ]

Ahh, my young aimee is growing up. Did you hook up with Jerome by any chance?

[AimeeLynn]

Ahh, my young aimee is growing up. Did you hook up with Jerome by any chance?

No.

I'm the one asking questions, not you.

Edit://
Another question:

Does the other feel the same way when they both hook up?
Since they both had to had feelings for each other since they did hook up, right?

[dannyordinary]

Friends with benefits .. used to have one, and now we aren't even friends =[ .. soo ... I wouldn't know, but i suggest you guys talk about it (because in my situation, we didn't)

[karmakiller]

Mhm, it's important to know where each other stands. Maybe people should just switch to strangers with benefits, instead of friends. Then there won't be a relationship to ruin.

[CocaineNoseJob]

Friends with benefits is totally fine, you just can't have any emotional attachment with the person what so ever. That would just complicate things. Before, my one friend and i were fwb to the extreme and during that time we were hooking up with other people as well and we still remained friends, even to this day. It's not awkward or anything, you just have to choose the right person to be fwb with. You can't just choose someone cause they're your friend, you both have to have that 'single ready to mingle' mindset.

[lovescream]

I've only hooked up with one person I was previously friends with. All others were just people I meet and stuff.

It's weird, because we actually gotten closer since our first hook up. I had a weird sexual attraction to him at a party one night lol, and vice versa, and we kinda just did it. After that, we went to his house, and just talked like the whole night until he drove me home. We kind of both mutually agreed that we'd be pretty much fwbs that night, for some reason LOL. We distanced each other when I cheated on my bf with that guy, but after my ex and i broke up, we talked again. It was slow at first, then it kinda just seemed to start off from where we had left off (being fwbs and all). I'm not sure how he felt at all at first about the situation, but one night I was at his house, and we talked about 'us' and how if we were probably in a relationship, everything would be fine, but then we agreed not to because we always get into small fights, and end up having the make up sex. LMFAO. We kinda agreed that we'd keep it safe and not hook up with other people (or try to.. LOL. He was the one who suggested it D:), so he's pretty much my only friend I can go to whenever I need anything.
I agree having emotional attachment could complicate things though, but I guess it just really depends on your guys' relationship to begin with and how strong it can grow (friend-wise).
I feel like he's like a really really good friend to me, because we can talk about anything about life too, but I really don't have any attraction to him besides sexual. ;o

lol sorry that was long. ):

[CocaineNoseJob]

I've only hooked up with one person I was previously friends with. All others were just people I meet and stuff.

It's weird, because we actually gotten closer since our first hook up. I had a weird sexual attraction to him at a party one night lol, and vice versa, and we kinda just did it. After that, we went to his house, and just talked like the whole night until he drove me home. We kind of both mutually agreed that we'd be pretty much fwbs that night, for some reason LOL. We distanced each other when I cheated on my bf with that guy, but after my ex and i broke up, we talked again. It was slow at first, then it kinda just seemed to start off from where we had left off (being fwbs and all). I'm not sure how he felt at all at first about the situation, but one night I was at his house, and we talked about 'us' and how if we were probably in a relationship, everything would be fine, but then we agreed not to because we always get into small fights, and end up having the make up sex. LMFAO. We kinda agreed that we'd keep it safe and not hook up with other people (or try to.. LOL. He was the one who suggested it D:), so he's pretty much my only friend I can go to whenever I need anything.
I agree having emotional attachment could complicate things though, but I guess it just really depends on your guys' relationship to begin with and how strong it can grow (friend-wise).
I feel like he's like a really really good friend to me, because we can talk about anything about life too, but I really don't have any attraction to him besides sexual. ;o

lol sorry that was long. ):

Yea i was in a situation like that. And we did have feelings for each other, just if we ever did get into a bf/gf relationship it would be based upon sex cuz thats the first thing we did with each other even before we were friends. And thats the reality of it. So yea in other words if u were to get into a relationship with sumone that was fwb it wud b mostly physical and idk for me thats not what really matters in a relationship...

[MissFits]

Just because he slept with you doesn't mean he had feelings for you. I was friends with benefits with the guy I lost my virginity to one of the million times we broke up and I would NEVER suggest doing that, ever. Someone always ends up getting hurt, if you were friends before the sex.
I was also friends with benefits with my boyfriend before we got together, that's worked out rather well, though.

I think you should try to get over it. I'm sure you like him, but (and correct me if I'm wrong) if he liked you I think he'd be acting differently.

[StubbornFemme]

http://www.teenwire.com/infocus/2004/if-20...p309-friend.php
Well I have this problem, I hooked up with a guy that I didn't think anything other than that he was hot and good looking. I didn't think about being a relationship with him nor did he. We both agreed that we are into hook ups more than being in a relationship.
After we hooked up, things felt different. I felt like he was done with me and it's weird just talking to each other. We were good friends until the hook up. He avoiding me and hardly ever talking to me.
When I see him with another girl I feel jealous and stupid.
I felt like I lost a friend just by doing this. I don't care if we don't hook up again (but it would be nice ) but I would want to be friends with him with him not being weird around me.

So how can you deal? How can you become good friends after a hook up?
Guys, after you hook up with a girl, do you still talk to them?

I just want to get it straight. All the guys I have hooked up with I still talk to but I don't know if it's different in college.

Oh I have been there before..two times actually. The latest one is currently goin' on right now. I've been wondering about it too, like for me..we actually went on a date but we decided to be friends after because we both had stuff to deal with. Even though we liked each other a little...we would hook up..but we would still talk and what not..but its now usually on days we want to "see each other." [hook up] And like you, I would get/feel all jealous if I saw him talking/with another girl and what not too...

I mean the most I can say is talk to him and make sure you both have your feelings in check. I think thats what I am about to do as well is have a talk about it. Sorry if I didnt help as much, but I just wanted to put my 2cents to show youre not alone :]

[Tung]

Stop being so insecure .

[AimeeLynn]

Stop being so insecure .

Thanks bunches Tung


haha.
I got it, thanks to Javonn.
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