Shy or Insecure? |
 Sep 5 2008, 04:47 PM
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#1
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 talent on another level  Group: Member Posts: 746 Joined: Oct 2006 Member No: 475,735  |
My friend is a friendly nice guy, who is always easy to approach. He has a hard time finding other friends in college, and doesn't know exactly how or what to say to make them. I suggest parties, but he tells me their just for drinking, and he is not into that. He can't seem to find anyone that relates to him, and anyone he is friendly with is just a "hi" and walk by friend. He feels left out at times and sits in his room thinking about whether to go out or not because he doesn't have any guy friends to go out with.
Any suggestions on how I could help him overcome this issue? |
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| *cakedout* |
Sep 5 2008, 04:48 PM
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#2
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Guest |
QUOTE(bigtrey90 @ Sep 5 2008, 02:47 PM)  I suggest parties, but he tells me their just for drinking, and he is not into that. PUSSY!! |
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Sep 5 2008, 04:57 PM
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#3
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 388 Joined: Aug 2008 Member No: 682,013 |
You should take him out and introduce him to new people or your friends. Shy people are kinda hard to talk to tho...tell him to join a club er something...you always meet new people there...
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Sep 5 2008, 05:03 PM
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#4
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 yan lin♥ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 14,129 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,627 |
moved to relationships.
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Sep 5 2008, 05:07 PM
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#5
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 Photoartist Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,363 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 399,390 |
QUOTE(misoshiru @ Sep 5 2008, 05:03 PM) moved to relationships. |
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Sep 5 2008, 05:33 PM
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#6
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 DDR \\ I'm Dee :) Group: Mentor Posts: 8,662 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 384,020 |
I used to be like that. I guess I didn't have friends that cared enough to do something about it, though. Haha. I still don't really like parties. Well, the parties that my friends go to go to drink and do drugs, and that's not my thing.
Maybe you should get only a few of your friends together that you know will be able to deal with someone shy. Let them know how he is. It's easier to include someone if there's only a few of you. Then ask him to do something with you and your other friends that you know he likes. |
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| *cakedout* |
Sep 5 2008, 05:45 PM
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#7
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Guest |
PARTY POOPER
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Sep 5 2008, 05:59 PM
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#8
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DDR \\ I'm Dee :) Group: Mentor Posts: 8,662 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 384,020 |
Such insightfulness you possess.
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| *cakedout* |
Sep 5 2008, 06:00 PM
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#9
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Guest |
Now why in the world do you insist of killing the mood like that?
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Sep 5 2008, 06:33 PM
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#10
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talent on another level Group: Member Posts: 746 Joined: Oct 2006 Member No: 475,735 |
cakedout you offer such awful advice
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Sep 5 2008, 09:28 PM
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#11
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 Mais je ne l'aime pas Group: Member Posts: 971 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 108,135 |
The best thing to do would be to encourage him to join a club so he can meet people with common interests.
To give him some backup, you can go to the first couple of meetings with him so that he'll feel a little safer but still make the move to introduce him to other people. Then, once he's fully integrated and made his own friends, you can slowly back away and let him branch out. |
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Sep 5 2008, 09:41 PM
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#12
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Photoartist Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,363 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 399,390 |
QUOTE(bigtrey90 @ Sep 5 2008, 06:33 PM) cakedout you offer such awful advice Ah ha ha ha, true facts.
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Sep 5 2008, 09:49 PM
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#13
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 poison Group: Official Member Posts: 4,806 Joined: Mar 2008 Member No: 629,020 |
take him out sometime.
Then maybe another day hang out and invite 2 or 3 others, and just keep adding more and more people each time. Could get him use to hanging with others |
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Sep 6 2008, 12:37 AM
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#14
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talent on another level Group: Member Posts: 746 Joined: Oct 2006 Member No: 475,735 |
good advice!
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Sep 9 2008, 01:09 AM
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#15
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 CheccMate Foo! Group: Member Posts: 839 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 487,531 |
It's hard but he needs to get over it. Or else he'll just be missing out in life. Sorry but I'm not shy at all because I force myself to talk. Most of the time it's random junk anyways lol.
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| *cakedout* |
Sep 9 2008, 11:04 AM
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#16
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QUOTE(bigtrey90 @ Sep 5 2008, 04:33 PM) cakedout you offer such awful advice  and since has going to partys been bad advice? buncha sober ass mothaf**kas |
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Sep 9 2008, 12:53 PM
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#17
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 The Resident Drunk Group: Head Staff Posts: 8,623 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 593,266 |
Normally I would say just go and get drunk, but truth be told....I am the same exact way. I like the idea of joining a club, and you as his friend should definitely show him around and introduce him to some of your friends.
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Sep 9 2008, 01:41 PM
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#18
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 ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 14,309 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,593 |
Give him a can of beer, and he'll loosen up.
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Sep 10 2008, 01:44 PM
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#19
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talent on another level Group: Member Posts: 746 Joined: Oct 2006 Member No: 475,735 |
QUOTE(cakedout @ Sep 9 2008, 11:04 AM) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v434/ric3xboy/umad.jpg and since has going to partys been bad advice? buncha sober ass mothaf**kas you weren't suggesting anything. you were just using unnecessary language, and not helping at all.
Reason for edit: remove your img tags - tung
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Sep 10 2008, 01:52 PM
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#20
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 179 Joined: Sep 2008 Member No: 683,638 |
QUOTE(MrStrife @ Sep 9 2008, 01:09 AM) It's hard but he needs to get over it. Or else he'll just be missing out in life. Sorry but I'm not shy at all because I force myself to talk. Most of the time it's random junk anyways lol. That's where insecurity comes in. You may talk alot, but how many people are secretly annoyed at you behind your back for doing so? HM? |
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Sep 10 2008, 03:05 PM
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#21
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 Cornflakes :D Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,541 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 322,923 |
I think he needs to get over being quiet and get out there and start conversations with people. This doesn't mean he needs to change himself or go out and go to these parties, but perhaps in class or something he needs to start conversations with people. Eventually you make friends.
Him staying in his room whining about it, isn't do anything besides making him feel sorry for himself. |
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Sep 10 2008, 03:30 PM
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#22
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 ;) Group: Duplicate Posts: 2,374 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,760 |
Tell him to get more involved in classes and events/situations where he's forced to be with people. If he lives in a dorm, he should walk around and look for open doors - most people leave their door open when they don't mind being interrupted and what-not. That's how I met most of my friends during freshman year - my floor was super-friendly, and everybody left their door open, so we just sort of went around getting to know each other.
If he goes to class a bit earlier, too, he might find a few people there and start conversations with them. Tell him to join clubs and activities groups, too. :D College is fun - don't let insecurities get in your (or his, I guess) way! |
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Sep 10 2008, 04:21 PM
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#23
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talent on another level Group: Member Posts: 746 Joined: Oct 2006 Member No: 475,735 |
Thanks for all the helpful advice!
He has been getting along with people, and has even made a handful of new friends he can relate too. He plans on becoming more involved on campus. So all in all, thanks for the advice! |
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| *cakedout* |
Sep 10 2008, 04:40 PM
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#24
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QUOTE(bigtrey90 @ Sep 10 2008, 11:44 AM) you weren't suggesting anything. you were just using unnecessary language, and not helping at all. Then I must I apologize. Perhaps, my real meaning behind the nonsense was for your friend to slowly accept going into social groups, one day at a time and eventually, the more comfortable he gets, the more friends he makes. |
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