funny metaphors used in highschool essays Options

[lkajsfklajskds]

i searched and couldnt find anything. but i have to feeling that i've seen this before. so do delete if its already on cb

http://help.com/post/124066-funny-metaphor...-in-high-school

[berrypop90]

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

Haha! These are silly. My sophomore lit teacher read us a list similar to this. We had a good time.

[Tung]

32. Linda is a ho who likes it in the butt.

I like that one.

[coconutter]

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

that one made me laugh.

I want to use some of these to cause controversy in my essays.

[karmakiller]

I remember this. Someone posted a link simular to it a long time ago. Good, nonetheless.

[Gigi]

Some of these aren't half bad, like a commenter said:

These are FABULOUS! As a professional writer, I have observed that one of the hardest things to teach kids is to write metaphors from the heart. Nearly every one of these metaphors is spot-on honest, and most are rollickingly funny as well. I expect most of these writers to be published some day. I am absolutely serious. The next J.D. Salinger has been quoted above.

Really reminds me of some quirky writers like Douglas Coupland and David Sedaris.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

^ They're hilarious! Very witty. I think, if I was a teacher and marked any of those, I would give them extra marks just for creativity alone XD. They may not be orthodox writing techniques but they sure are entertaining.

[The-March-Hare]

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

HAH.

That actually made me laugh out loud.

I'm with Gigi, these would totally merit extra marks in my classroom.

I've often wished I could write in a more humerous, or more causal tone in essays... As long as the academic content was still present, what's wrong with writing something in a way which isn't coma inducing?

[Tung]

HAH.

That actually made me laugh out loud.

I'm with Gigi, these would totally merit extra marks in my classroom.

I've often wished I could write in a more humerous, or more causal tone in essays... As long as the academic content was still present, what's wrong with writing something in a way which isn't coma inducing?