How to get sketchy guys to GET AWAY???, ugh!!!! Options

[anoniez]

There's this one sketchy indian kid who will NOT leave me alone. We drunkenly made out one night last year (yeah, I was a lush) and I promptly and bitterly regretted it once I got a good look at his face. He kept asking me on dates but I ignored him (literally) for about a year. Oh and he has a rep for being an ugly hairy sketchball.

Then he messaged me on facebook this summer and I felt bad so I made polite conversation. The only problem is, he thinks I want to be FRIENDS(or more) now. He drunk dialed me and I NEVER EVEN GAVE HIM MY NUMBER. A minute after I log onto FB he always messages me(wtf). He persists even after frequent mentions of the existence of a boyfriend, and unresponsive one-word answers after 5 minutes. What gives?

This guy can't take a hint. I've stopped answering him. I've told his friends to tell him to stop, nothing works!! What can I do, short of telling him, "Dude, you're f-ing sketchy, leave me the hell alone"??
I hate confrontation, and I hate being mean to people.

HELPPPP

[Tomates]

I would just be straight up with him.
It seems like your a nice person
but i would just break that and tell him how you feel and dont be so nice about it
I know that sounds really mean
but sometimes its gets through to someone more.

[dustbunny]

okay so what are all the methods by which he can contact you?

if it's only facebook, then go offline/ignore him/defriend him.

I highly suggest having a "conversation" where you just explain what's going on. I wish I had done that with a personal experience in my life recently, buuuuut I didn't have the guts. I seriously regret not taking action/saying what I felt in a blunt manner and had I the chance to go back, I would have had the conversation. Instead I just ignored the person and let my anger and frustration build up inside me until I exploded. yeah.

what you should do: EXPLAIN HOW YOU'RE FEELING aka "stop making advances towards me". if he's persistent or doesn't get the clue after you PLAINLY state out that you have no interest in him and do not want to be pestered all day long, then delete him off facebook.

[imsleepn]

okay so what are all the methods by which he can contact you?

if it's only facebook, then go offline/ignore him/defriend him.

I highly suggest having a "conversation" where you just explain what's going on. I wish I had done that with a personal experience in my life recently, buuuuut I didn't have the guts. I seriously regret not taking action/saying what I felt in a blunt manner and had I the chance to go back, I would have had the conversation. Instead I just ignored the person and let my anger and frustration build up inside me until I exploded. yeah.

what you should do: EXPLAIN HOW YOU'RE FEELING aka "stop making advances towards me". if he's persistent or doesn't get the clue after you PLAINLY state out that you have no interest in him and do not want to be pestered all day long, then delete him off facebook.

exactly.
and if none of that works, file for a restraining order.

[xoxo_proud]

okay so what are all the methods by which he can contact you?

if it's only facebook, then go offline/ignore him/defriend him.

I highly suggest having a "conversation" where you just explain what's going on. I wish I had done that with a personal experience in my life recently, buuuuut I didn't have the guts. I seriously regret not taking action/saying what I felt in a blunt manner and had I the chance to go back, I would have had the conversation. Instead I just ignored the person and let my anger and frustration build up inside me until I exploded. yeah.

what you should do: EXPLAIN HOW YOU'RE FEELING aka "stop making advances towards me". if he's persistent or doesn't get the clue after you PLAINLY state out that you have no interest in him and do not want to be pestered all day long, then delete him off facebook.

Agreed. I went to a school dance with a boy and realized I didn't want a boyfriend (I don't want one until I'm out of HS) but I was to chicken to tell him. So we ended up ignoring each other for the rest of the year. It made me feel horrible and guilty not telling him my true feelings. I finally did apologize and I feel a lot better now.

So tell him how you feel. Or it could turn into something worse. And his friends might not want to tell him either. It's not their responsibility, it's yours. You don't have to say it to his face the first time. Write him a note, send him an email. But if that doesn't work then you need to talk to him face to face.

[coconutter]

I know you don't want to feel bad for telling him off or whatever someone may suggest, so just simply act like you're interested in someone else. Say you're going out with your friends if he tries to talk to you, and if he asks if you have a boyfriend tell him you're talking to someone so he won't feel inclined to ask who.

It always works, but you might miss the extra attention.

[anoniez]

I know you don't want to feel bad for telling him off or whatever someone may suggest, so just simply act like you're interested in someone else. Say you're going out with your friends if he tries to talk to you, and if he asks if you have a boyfriend tell him you're talking to someone so he won't feel inclined to ask who.

It always works, but you might miss the extra attention.

thanks lol.. I really don't want to tell him off.

but, I DO have a boyfriend. I don't enjoy his "attention." And I've tried to bring up the boyfriend frequently, but it doesn't work :(

Looks like if this keeps up I might have to tell him I'm not interested.. then he'll just be like "Oh, I was just trying to be friendly" (yeah right) but it'll still make me feel like an a-hole.. lol.

[xxstarpower]

Just tell him. If he doesn't get the point then, that's when there is an issue.

But you're a bloody shallow jerk. Looks aren't everything dear.

[anoniez]

Where is your boyfriend in all of this?

Across the country, it's summer :) Plus, it'd be really cowardly to hide behind my boyfriend, I should be able to stand up for myself (admittedly having some problems with this at the moment as you can see)


Yeah, I'm totally shallow, because this guy is creepy, sketchy (it's his NICKNAME), socially awkward, and is just totally frickin' strange to me. Yeah maybe I should give him a chance huh? Especially since I already have a boyfriend?
Rest assured I have talked to him and gotten to know him a bit, and can safely say that there is not a chance in hell, even if he WERE gorgeous. I've been trying to be nice and let him down easy but he's not taking the hints.

Alright thanks for the tips guys. I guess next time he messages me I'll just tell him straight up, maybe in a nice way, like "I'm really sorry, you're a nice guy but I have a boyfriend and I'm just not interested."
Thanks again, guess I have to suck it up and just do it!!