am i being unreasonable?, problem outside of relationship |
 May 24 2008, 09:56 PM
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#1
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Member  Group: Member Posts: 11 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 592,492  |
so i have been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years now. when me and my boyfriend had only been dating for about 7 months, he somewhat ambushed me with a meeting with his family. as it turns out his mother and some of his aunties thinks that he is too good for me. the funny thing is that he was the one who liked me first, he was the one who asked me out, he was the one to say "i love you" first and everything. at first i felt really sad but even now i am just mad . i somewhat don't hate his mother and aunties but i just can't get over what they said. its been over 2 years now, i should be over it and my boyfriends loves me alot but i just can't get over it. and now i don't even want to go places where i'll run into his family or go to any of his family events, which my boyfriend is always begging me to go to, but i don't. am i being unreasonable that i don't want to see his family or attend their family events?????
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May 24 2008, 10:10 PM
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#2
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 /人◕‿‿◕人\ Group: Official Member Posts: 8,283 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 602,927 |
You're not being unreasonable.
They basically insulted you. |
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May 24 2008, 10:17 PM
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#3
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Member Group: Member Posts: 11 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 592,492 |
QUOTE(XTC @ May 24 2008, 08:10 PM)  You're not being unreasonable. They basically insulted you. thank you :] |
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May 25 2008, 12:49 AM
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#4
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 We're Over 9,000!!!1! Group: Human Posts: 307 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 352,435 |
you aren't being unreasonable but you should just suck it up and go these events so that way they will change their mind about you. :)
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May 25 2008, 12:57 AM
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#5
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Member Group: Member Posts: 11 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 592,492 |
QUOTE(TiffanyFactorial @ May 24 2008, 10:49 PM) you aren't being unreasonable but you should just suck it up and go these events so that way they will change their mind about you. :) that's what my boyfriend says but the thing is that they didn't even take a chance to get to know me. they saw me and they decided that their son was too good-looking for me... so apparently im not even pretty enough to be seen with him.. but thank you for your input. i really appreciate it. this has just really been bugging me and i just wanted other people's input on the issue so thank you. |
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May 26 2008, 10:24 AM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Head Staff Posts: 18,173 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 108,478 |
Do you know if his family still feels that way about you? If so, his mom and aunties need to get over it. They should have gotten over it after your one-year anniversary, even. It looks like you're still going strong at three years, so they should really be used to having you as a part of his life by now.
I don't think you're being unreasonable, but like Tiffany said, you should start attending some events so that both his family and you will get used to being around each other and maybe overcome your differences. |
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May 26 2008, 04:46 PM
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#7
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 5,166 Joined: Oct 2007 Member No: 585,858 |
QUOTE(cookies22 @ May 24 2008, 10:56 PM) so i have been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years now. when me and my boyfriend had only been dating for about 7 months, he somewhat ambushed me with a meeting with his family. as it turns out his mother and some of his aunties thinks that he is too good for me. the funny thing is that he was the one who liked me first, he was the one who asked me out, he was the one to say "i love you" first and everything. at first i felt really sad but even now i am just mad . i somewhat don't hate his mother and aunties but i just can't get over what they said. its been over 2 years now, i should be over it and my boyfriends loves me alot but i just can't get over it. and now i don't even want to go places where i'll run into his family or go to any of his family events, which my boyfriend is always begging me to go to, but i don't. am i being unreasonable that i don't want to see his family or attend their family events????? nah.. buttt buttt... GO 2 ALLL DA FAMILYY SHIET N SHOWW DEMM WATT U ALLL ABOUUTTT!!!  doo da cholo n shiet.. and chickenn nooddlee soup... |
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May 27 2008, 10:33 AM
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#8
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 <(^_^<) DANCE!(>^_^)> Group: Official Member Posts: 1,304 Joined: Nov 2007 Member No: 586,621 |
QUOTE(XTC @ May 24 2008, 11:10 PM) You're not being unreasonable. They basically insulted you. exactly! i went through this exact same thing with my now ex. we were together for 3 years (& we're still really close) and his mom didn't like me from the get go. not only did she not know me, but she did a lot of fxcked up shxt to try to get us to break up. at first I avoided her and wanted nothing at all to do with her and his family. As time went by I realized that her opinion didn't matter, that the only opinion that mattered was my boyfriend's. You know what I did to show her I was good enough? I started attending some of their family gatherings & I made sure I was extra loving & attentive with my boyfriend. Not only to show her that I truely did care for him & was worthy of him, but to show her how happy it made her son. She still doesn't like me, but I get the joy of knowing that I rubbed my happineess in her face even after everything she did to make me unhappy. |
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May 27 2008, 12:23 PM
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#9
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Senior Member Group: Duplicate Posts: 459 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 308,469 |
they said these things to your face? they said "he is too good for you" to your face? did you tell him?? did he do anything about it?
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May 30 2008, 03:05 PM
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#10
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 SCHGEB!SCHGEB! Group: Member Posts: 1,786 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 66,217 |
At first they probably weren't too thrilled about him having a girlfriend in general so they judged you. They probably dont even know you, and if you go to family gatherings they'll finally have an actual opinion on who you really are...It has been 3 years afterall, ha.
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May 31 2008, 01:11 AM
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#11
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 132 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 605,790 |
No, you're not. His mom & aunties are being immature. My friend's going through the same thing, except it's just her boyfriend's mom.
I agree that you should start attending their family gatherings. If they still feel the same way, just forget about them. It's messed up. You two have been together for so long. They should've accepted & tried to get to know you long ago. |
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May 31 2008, 01:31 AM
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#12
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 BANG Group: Member Posts: 394 Joined: Aug 2007 Member No: 565,234 |
Nope, you should talk to his family though.
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May 31 2008, 01:34 AM
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#13
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 ‹(. .)› Group: Official Member Posts: 2,367 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,089 |
family members are always gonna think you're not good enough. it's up to you to change their perception.
and don't have the attitude that "it doesn't matter what they think." of course it matters. if your boyfriend is very family oriented, then the opinion of his mom and aunts matter to him, even if he claims it doesn't. you need to consider going to these family functions and try to make it work with his family. |
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May 31 2008, 02:09 AM
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#14
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 The Illustrious Mari C. Group: Member Posts: 586 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 26,671 |
QUOTE(TiffanyFactorial @ May 25 2008, 01:49 AM) you aren't being unreasonable but you should just suck it up and go these events so that way they will change their mind about you. :) Exactly; obviously he hasn't changed his mind about the way he feels about you, so you should do it for him...they might change their mind, they might not, in the end it's his life & ultimately his decision; you two are just dating, not getting married...so just try your best to deal with them and their judgement... |
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