VAGINA!, etc |
 May 15 2008, 02:00 AM
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#1
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 ;)  Group: Duplicate Posts: 2,374 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,760  |
favorite funny quotes!
- Mister, you gotta help me. My wife-She's out back. She's having a baby. - She's having a what? - A baby! - She's having a baby? - And it's halfway out! I can see the head!...I need your jacket. - Why? - For her... amniotic sac! Her amniotic fluid is gushing out. - Gushing? -The jacket! The jacket! Give me the jacket! And your pants. - My pants? -Your pants! Yeah, for her, you know, her "placentia"...you know, and her labia and cervical--Mucus gushing-- It's gushing!! It's just a hole and--Quick! The pants. And the hat. - Why? Why my hat? - For her...VAGINA |
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May 15 2008, 05:35 AM
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#2
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 Addict Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 3,918 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 538,522 |
My favorite Family Guy quotes:
Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert. --- Lois: Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different. Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells. --- Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill? Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible. Peter: Wrong, the ugly one! |
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May 15 2008, 07:28 AM
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 mercenary on call Group: Member Posts: 926 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 447,606 |
QUOTE(heartquasm @ May 15 2008, 03:00 AM)  favorite funny quotes! - Mister, you gotta help me. My wife-She's out back. She's having a baby. - She's having a what? - A baby! - She's having a baby? - And it's halfway out! I can see the head!...I need your jacket. - Why? - For her... amniotic sac! Her amniotic fluid is gushing out. - Gushing? -The jacket! The jacket! Give me the jacket! And your pants. - My pants? -Your pants! Yeah, for her, you know, her "placentia"...you know, and her labia and cervical--Mucus gushing-- It's gushing!! It's just a hole and--Quick! The pants. And the hat. - Why? Why my hat? - For her...VAGINA  I watched that movie the other night.Stewie: [when he is trying to sip Lois' breast milk on the rug] Dear God, I've gotta get a hold of myself! Look at me, sucking pilfered milk off a dirty carpet! I'm as pathetic as the fat man when he tries to read. [Cutaway to Lois on the couch with Peter, who has a book] Peter: [points to a word] Hey, Lois, what's this word? Lois: Evel. Peter: [points to another word] And this one? Lois: Knievel. Peter: And this one? Lois: Was. Peter: And this one? Lois: Born. Peter: And this one? Lois: In. Peter: And this one? Lois: Montana. Peter: Huh. Oh, hey, Lois, did you know that Evel Knievel was born in Montana? Chris: But Brian, the bible says gay marriage is an abomination. Brian: Oh, don't give me that Young Republican crap, Chris. The bible also says a senior citizen built an ark and rounded up two of every animal. [Cutaway to Noah's Ark] Noah: [to an elephant and a penguin] Hey! Elephant: Yeah? Noah: What the hell is this? [camera pulls out to reveal an animal with a penguin's body and an elephant's head] Elephant: Oh. You didn't really give any specific guidelines about mating. Noah: Did you name it? Elephant: What? Noah: Did you name it? Elephant: Uh, yeah, he's Paul. Noah: Yeah? Well it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder for you now, because he's going the f**k overboard! Mayor Adam West: If I enter Connecticut, I'm entering every state that Connecticut's ever been with. |
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May 15 2008, 08:53 AM
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#4
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;) Group: Duplicate Posts: 2,374 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,760 |
From Arrested Development:
Tobias Fünke: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. |
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May 16 2008, 04:08 PM
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 That's what she said. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 3,559 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 130,200 |
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
Kumar: Dad, come on. Dr. Patel: Daddy is not coming on anything! |
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May 18 2008, 02:04 AM
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#6
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 (′ ･ω･｀) Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477 |
ironman
:do you ever lose an hour of your sleep? :i'd like to lose some with you. |
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May 18 2008, 03:12 PM
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#7
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 DDR \\ I'm Dee :) Group: Mentor Posts: 8,662 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 384,020 |
QUOTE(LoveToMySilas @ May 16 2008, 04:08 PM) Harold and Kumar go to White Castle Kumar: Dad, come on. Dr. Patel: Daddy is not coming on anything! LOL that gets me every time. I have too many, but one that I know off the top of my head... is in Futurama when Bender gets to experience what it would be like to be human. Bender: So this is what a human body feels like. Where's my antenna? Oh, here it is. It just moved. But I'm not getting any reception. Maybe if I wiggle it a little. Fry: No, bender, you'll make God cry! |
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May 18 2008, 03:42 PM
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#8
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 1,028 Joined: Sep 2007 Member No: 579,129 |
Transformers
Mom: Were you masturbating..? Sam: No, I was not! Mom: You can call it "Sam's happy time, if you'd prefer it that way" It was something along the lines of that. Can't remember o_o |
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May 23 2008, 03:42 PM
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 f your couch Group: Official Member Posts: 3,089 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 491,301 |
"You know when you grab a woman's breast and it feels like a bag of sand." that cracked me up.
"You can't come in here, this is my mastabatorium!" oh my goodness that was frickin hilarious. |
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May 23 2008, 08:44 PM
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#10
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 115 Joined: May 2008 Member No: 650,841 |
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| *absinthe* |
May 24 2008, 01:36 AM
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#11
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Guest |
(from movies)
"Night is a very dark time for me." - Blades of glory (will ferrell) "I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is." - Zoolander |
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May 24 2008, 01:51 AM
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#12
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 Cornflakes :D Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,541 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 322,923 |
QUOTE(S-Majere @ May 15 2008, 06:35 AM) My favorite Family Guy quotes: Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert. --- Lois: Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different. Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells. --- Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill? Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible. Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!  I've never heard those, but those are great.I lack a sense of humor, so I don't find very many things funny..and well I don't know anything thats really funny that comes to mind >_> |
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May 24 2008, 04:45 AM
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#13
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Custom Member Title Group: Member Posts: 655 Joined: Feb 2008 Member No: 619,464 |
should I laugh or cry ?
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May 24 2008, 10:02 AM
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 What Up, Whats Hapening Group: Member Posts: 360 Joined: Aug 2007 Member No: 554,698 |
From Family Guy(Peter after he gets drunk at the stag party):
Now kids daddy only drank so that the statue of liberty could take her clothes off
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May 24 2008, 10:40 AM
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#15
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 Member Group: Member Posts: 19 Joined: May 2008 Member No: 649,546 |
The Office quotes:
Dwight Schrute: Question, is there fire wood on the island? Jim Halpert: I guess. Dwight Schrute: Then I would bring an ax, no books.<b> Jim Halpert: It has to be a book Dwight. Dwight Schrute: Fine, Physician's Desk Reference- Jim Halpert: Nice, smart. Dwight Schrute: ...hollowed out, inside-waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Question, did my shoes come off in the plane crash? ------------ Dwight Schrute: Michael, what's wrong? Michael Scott: Everything is wrong, Dwight. The stress of my modern office has made me depressed. Dwight Schrute: Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling, 'bummed down?' Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut! ------------ Michael Scott: WHAM! His capa is detated from his head! |
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May 24 2008, 10:52 AM
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#16
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 115 Joined: May 2008 Member No: 650,841 |
QUOTE(babydrifter22 @ May 24 2008, 10:02 AM) From Family Guy(Peter after he gets drunk at the stag party): Now kids daddy only drank so that the statue of liberty could take her clothes off before that daddy needs to take statue of liberty on a date  |
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