Boyfriend's female BFF, =/ Options

[Melissa]

Ok, just to set things straight, the guy in question isnt my boyfriend, never was my boyfriend, and never will be my boyfriend. I did like him a bit at one point in time, but whatever was between us pretty much fizzled out.

The thing that bugs me is that during that time period when things between us were pretty tense, I had a conversation about him with his best friend (who's female) online and she said something that really bothered me. I had gotten to know her the previous semester and consider her a pretty good friend of mine as well; she apparently has some history with this guy that I really don't want to get into right now. But here's how the conversation went:

Her: If he ever has babies, I'm gonna shake them.
Me: DON'T BE SHAKING MY BABIES, HO!
Me: lol
Her: Hm, actually, nvm
Her: If he had babies with you, I wouldn't need to shake them.
Her: bc I know the first thing you'll teach them is that I'll always be number one in his life.
Me: Wait... so you think you'd be more important to him than his future kids. Srsly?
Her: Yes.
Me: You'd be more important to him than his girlfriend and/or future wife?
Her: Uh, duh. I've always come first. Girlfriends come and go, but I've always been there, so I'll always be number one.


At the time, I kind of laughed it off, but seriously... I think that's kind of messed up. I guess she does a good job chasing off all his potential girlfriends. And, come to think of it, after that conversation, I started liking him a lot less than I did.

Opinions?

[foxx]

Ok, just to set things straight, the guy in question isnt my boyfriend, never was my boyfriend, and never will be my boyfriend.

Well, that being said, why are you so peeved about it?
If he's just your friend, then you shouldn't be worried about his bff chasing off all potential girlfriends, should you?


edit-> it is messed up what she said, but, don't be too mad about it. Maybe she's just trying to piss you off.

[Melissa]

Well, that being said, why are you so peeved about it?
If he's just your friend, then you shouldn't be worried about his bff chasing off all potential girlfriends, should you?


edit-> it is messed up what she said, but, don't be too mad about it. Maybe she's just trying to piss you off.

bc at the time, we could've become more than friends.
anyways, the entire point of me putting that in is because i really don't wanna get into the really twisted and stupid/nasty details of the whatever-it-was that we had.

it's just the situation of a guy's best friend thinking that she'll always be more important than the girlfriend.

[*paperplane*]

Well, so she's crazy and needs to get her own guy. I don't think that's at all a typical reaction for a girl with a guy best friend. I watched a movie last night, where the girl said to her friend, "Even when you were with other girls, you were still with me." I think that made sense, because she shouldn't care about his involvement with other girl, so long as they're still friends...like if James still lived here, I definitely wouldn't try to f**k up his relationships, as long as he didn't forget about me completely or something. By insisting she's "first" to that extent, she obviously really isn't, because she's disregarding her friend's feelings.

[queen]

this goes back to all those threads about boy/girl "best friend" relationships, and how i think they're f**king annoying and obnoxious.

i know people who seriously think like that, and i think it's pretty damn selfish. i believe your spouse should be the number one person in your life (note: i do mean spouse, not boyfriend/girlfriend). of course this is because i believe your spouse should also be your best friend.

[marielamuneka]

well.. things happen for a reason. maybe he just wasnt worth it with a friend like that.. i dont know.

[aaayotiffany]

i know a handful of guys that chose their girlfriends over their girl best friends. very few [and i emphasize on the very] that i know chose their best friends over the girlfriend. the guy can tell the best friend whatever he wants, but when it comes down to it, if the guy really cares about the girl he's talking to and think that she's something special, he will choose the girlfriend over the best friend. i know this for a fact.

it is pretty messed up though. especially when you become good friends with his best friend and she knows that you really like him. dang, what a b*tch move.

[MissHygienic]

Girls are stupid.

Best answer.

[marielamuneka]

Sometimes the best friends are bitches and just want to make trouble; and get jealous and usually are in love with the damn guy themself. but i met some guys that do pick their girlfriend over their bestfriend because of reasons. it should be equal equal though because put yourself in a girlfriends position and best friends position. (if your a good best friend)

[karmakiller]

I have a lot of guy friends, and even though they've dated different women, we've still been friends. So, in a way, it's true that girls will come and go and you'll always be their friend, but not always their number one. That's just stupid. It's like when you start making a new friend and someone who's been your friend for a long time gets jealous. It goes with both sexes. She's just immature, and if you wanted a relationship with the guy you should've pursued it... because in the end she got what she wanted, you guys aren't together.

[Glamourouz]

I agree with Karma...if you liked him you should've pursued it & not have given her the satisfaction of thinking she'd always come first. I know plenty of guys who are best friends with females but put their girlfriend first; if they don't then they might have a thing for their best friend as well. Me personally, I'd never come between my boyfriend & his friends b/c I'm not that type & wouldn't want him to do it to me, but since I'm a female & know how triflin females can be toward each other & I know how "nice" of a person he can be, I'd be darned if I sit & let some triqk friend of his take my place or ever think she could. When you want something you have to stand your ground; females play too many mind games & half the time they don't even want the guy, they just don't want you to have them.

[illriginal]

thanks a lot... I just lost brain cells

[Melissa]

to say that would be to assume you had some to begin with...

[illriginal]

to say that would be to assume you had some to begin with...

Yeah but look at what you posted, it's the equivalent of negative brain cells.

[Melissa]

Yeah but look at what you posted, it's the equivalent of negative brain cells.

You wanna explain?

I really don't have a problem with you at all, but if you're about to call me stupid...

[illriginal]

You wanna explain?

I really don't have a problem with you at all, but if you're about to call me stupid...

I mean it's nothin serious. I'm not tryin to call you stupid. I'm tryin to say this is a no-brainer. Obviously that girl's a moron and that's how you should have looked at it, instead of askin for opinions on the issue at hand.

Just forget it ever happened and ignore that retarded female.
Like someone for them... and them only. Don't use their friends, their families, especially not their exes, not even their religion/belief system as a way to back away from them.

[Melissa]

Ah, ok. I see what you mean. I thought there was something wrong with how I typed or something.

It's less of an "asking for opinion" and more of a rant, since I really can't go complain to any of my friends (since they all know her). I just needed to get the frustration off my chest.

[illriginal]

Ah, ok. I see what you mean. I thought there was something wrong with how I typed or something.

It's less of an "asking for opinion" and more of a rant, since I really can't go complain to any of my friends (since they all know her). I just needed to get the frustration off my chest.

Understood. If it worked, then good ish. Never let a human get to you, it shows weakness... and they'd do anything to exploit it.

[DoubleJ]

This is why the female friends that I have, are 25 or older. Are they super close to me? Yes. They also know when to step off as well, but they are quick to check me when it is called for. Ultimately, it comes down to a man checking the chick and telling her:

Man: Listen step off
Friend: Why, I thought we were friends?
Man: We are, but I am getting pussy from her not you.
Friend: True.

[fosheezy]

ha! i was in a situation where my best friend's girlfriend basically made him choose. he still hung out with me, but lied to her about it. he says she told him to lie about it instead of telling her, because she'll get jealous. how frkn stupid is that? anyway, i know for a fact, that if it came down to it, he'd choose her. i just know it. he loves her more than she realizes, because she's always screwing him over. ugh, but there he stays. he tries, but to no avail. ugh.

[hypnotique]

Shes a f**king moron.
When a man get married and has kids his childeren will always come before her.


Sorry.

[illriginal]

Shes a f**king moron.
When a man get married and has kids his childeren will always come before her.
Sorry.

Damn. Right.

[Bitterissweet]

She sounds like a Biotch. Don't mind her. She probably has like this secret crush on him and keeps his toenail clippings in a baggie under her pillow or something.

[transcendentalis...]

She sounds kind of dumb, lol. You don't get to pick if you're number one in someone else's life. It's just that simple.

When you're liking someone, you don't have to like their friends as well.

[absinthe]

Seriously, the BFF's always think that, and I wonder if they genuinely believe that, but when the other party finds someone they really love, the BFF's usually get ownd.

If he's not willing to bump you up, he's not worth it.

Period.

[sugarrcube]

she's freakin spycho lol. no matter wat happens, a guy would always love his own kids lol.