Tung Needs Help, Regretting a Relationship Options

[Tung]

After I graduated high school, I was still in the middle of a relationship that was 8 month strong. It was the longest relationship I've ever been in. That summer I was getting ready to move away, and start off college, while my ex was becoming a senior in high school. Yes, she was one year younger than me. We decided that the whole long distance thing wouldn't work out, and it would be unfair for the both of use to continue the relationship knowing full well that once we got our ways, we would find other people. We broke up that summer after 9 long months. It was the greatest 9 months in my whole 19 years I've ever lived so far.

Even since that relationship, I've had two others. One lasting only a month, and another lasting 3 months. I was never quite as happy with these two relationships I had, as I was with the one I had during my senior year in high school. Lately, I been single for quite some time now, and I just feel depressed nowadays. I think about my relationship with my ex I had 2 years ago, and I wished we never broke up in the first place. I wished I had tried harder to make the long distance work. She was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I blew it. Sometimes it's really hard to find interests in other girls, when I go out, and the girls are like totally hitting on me, but I just ignore them. That's because I still have feelings for my high school ex.

I don't know what I should do here. I mean I haven't talk to her in 2 years, and I know for sure she's still single, and haven't dated anyone since we broke up. I know because I still check her facebook, and myspace and word of mouth from her friends. I need opinions and a little help here on how I should approach her and this situation. How do I tell her I want to be together again. I mean I'm afraid she might reject me, and not want me after these long two years.

I don't know. I just been really sad these past weeks, and regretting I ever made the decision to break up with her. I mean we both agree to break up that summer, but it was me who brought up the idea. She wanted to try to long distance for a while and see how it goes, but I never gave it a try. Sigh..any help would be great here.

[Just_Dream]

Woah Tung. Okay, here goes.

I think you should talk to her directly because I can tell by the way that you describe how you keep in touch with what's going on in her life, even if it's not directly from her (facebook is indirect, I tell you). I mean, she wanted to try the long distance thing, and if she hasn't dated anyone since you two broke up, maybe she's also still hung up on you. You care so much about her, since it's the "best 9 months" you've ever had, so you should show it to her.

Yes, there is a chance that she's going to reject you. But don't you think that it should be a risk that you're willing to take? By waiting, you're risking the chance that she still could be with you. Tell her what you've posted about her, in person. I'm sure that she would understand how you feel, but like I said, she MIGHT have moved on. But you need to move forward and tell her. Even if she rejects you, the fact that you told her lets you release your feelings. I know you probably feel really shitty for making that decision two years ago, but it's never to late to give it another chance.

Just remember to start talking to her again, but don't pressure her. Don't jump back into what you two had before -- just start talking to her again and tell her that you miss her. Girls love that. Yea you know there was a guy that liked me and even though I was in a relationship with Tony and that guy moved away, he actually IMed me one time and told me that he missed me. That actually made my heart skip a beat, knowing that someone still thinks of me, even though I thought he forgot about me already. I mean, it's not like I liked that guy, but its the though that counts. Even better if she actually tells you that she misses you too.

This can be done through IM, facebooking, even a call. If she's 1 year younger that means she's in college (freshman) now? Does she go to a college nearby? IDK, maybe set up a meeting, go to lunch together, etc. But don't straight out tell her that you've loved her all this time, as the first thing out of your mouth. Make her remember what an amazing guy you are, just by showing your friendly side, and then once the conversation gets deeper, tell her. This could all be happening within one meeting though.

Just make sure to tell her to hear you out fully -- don't let her cut in or cut you off. When telling your feelings, tell the whole story and that you really want a second chance and that you were an idiot because it took you two years (or however long) to realize how much she meant to you. Say some romantic things from your heart, even if it's cheesy. We girls don't care about cheesy-ness because we'll know it's from the heart. But like I said, don't pressure her too much until you can get her to FULLY HEAR YOU OUT. And it's okay to bring up the past -- the good times -- because it shows that not only do you remember, but that you cared enough to even mention them.

lmao this better not be a joke thread again like the last one because I actually took the time to type this out, obviously!

EDIT - and remember the whole "long distance" thing is a big commitment, so make sure you're not only willing, but that if things work out between you two, that you set up a way for you two to meet, make phone calls, etc. But it shouldn't be so bad since she's probably kind of close... right?

[Tung]

Wow thanks Christina. I didn't think someone would post that much, but that was really useful advice. And yes, this is a serious post, not like the other one lol. I just been feeling a bit regret the last couple of weeks. =\

She lives in Hayward, and I live in Fremont, so it's 10 minutes away from where my family lives. The thing is, I'm just really scared you know. I haven't even SEEN her in nearly two years, and I'm not sure how to approach this. Should I just call her up, because I still have her number, or should I pretend to go to her college campus and accidentally bump into her?

[heyo-captain-jac...]

Should I just call her up, because I still have her number, or should I pretend to go to her college campus and accidentally bump into her?

I would just call her. Its so much more simple and that way shes going to know that you still like/love her.

[mizzkewl06]

wow. that's some real good advice. i agree with her.

maybe you shoud call her up and hang out with her (as friends) and see if when you're together there's any chemistry/feelings there. approach it subtly just incase she doesn't want a relationship, that way you won't put yourself too out there.

[illriginal]

Call her =\
Make a date to hang out. Be a man, mother f**ker!! ALPHA!

[LoveToMySilas]

Wow. I kinda know how you feel except the guy is happily taken with his new girlfriend for the past year now. *twitch* Well, if shes still single, don't hesitate any longer! I say you should catch up with her and talk for a few days. That way, you guys have that whole friend thing back on. You can always bring up the topic of relationships and if shes interested in anyone or joke around "Wow...can you believe its been 2 years since we went out?" and somehow find a way to drop a "I miss you". I hope that helps, if you wanna chat, I'm here for you.

[ChangeofHeart]

Tung, go for it. Call her! She is only 10 minutes away and she is still single. That is a real good set up to start a relationship with her. Go for it while you still have the chance.

[Tung]

Thanks for the advice guys.

Tung, go for it. Call her! She is only 10 minutes away and she is still single. That is a real good set up to start a relationship with her. Go for it while you still have the chance.

Do I know you?

[rnicron]

Do I know you?

I think if you're asking that based on how much info they posted, it's because you stated all those things. They're just saying it seems like it's in your best interest to go through with it.

[Edwinbarkhordari...]

I feel the same way you feel too...im 100% in the same situation..*sigh*

[aaayotiffany]

awwww. man, i think you should call her. even if it is after two years, its definitely worth it since you say she was the best thing thats ever happened to you. who knows, maybe she's been feeling the same way.

i honestly cannot give you any better advice then christina has.
just do what you want to do, what your heart tells you. i know its corny but like you said, she's worth it.

and always, "better late than never".

[shoryuken]

piccc plzz..

[Elba]

Call her. It's not like you cheated on her or left her for someone else. If I were her, I'd be more than happy to hear from you again. Maybe just start off by being freinds again and go from there.

[marielamuneka]

Aw i think you should go for it.. good luck!

[DoubleJ]

I am in this EXACT same situation. I would have to say that you should talk to her in person. Your feelings will come across as being more genuine if you do it in person as opposed to over the phone or aim or something like that. Just remember, that whatever you do, you should be honest and not hold back, this could be your only shot.

[Tung]

I am in this EXACT same situation. I would have to say that you should talk to her in person. Your feelings will come across as being more genuine if you do it in person as opposed to over the phone or aim or something like that. Just remember, that whatever you do, you should be honest and not hold back, this could be your only shot.

Yeah I know it's way better to do it in person. But I'm unsure how I should approach her in person. Because I haven't seen or talk to her in like two years.

[DoubleJ]

I mean, you must take it slow at first ya know. You definitely don't want to rush into it, because you never know how she might take it.

[misoshiru]

awww
you should call her and just start by being her friend again. just see how it goes from there and then decide.

[xoxoxx]

superman that h_

[Tung]

superman that h_

Thanks for the advice Shawn.

[Melissa]

You haven't talked to her in 2 whole years? Not even IM, phone, facebook... nothing at all?

If that's the case, I really wouldn't rush into anything. You should try to visit her or call her - if you have mutual friends, try to go out together. You know, just basically introduce yourself back into her life. You don't know if she's changed in the two years - I bet YOU'VE changed a lot in those two years. Try to reestablish your friendship or at least get to know her again before you think about getting back with her.

[xoxoxx]

did he change for better or for worse?

[*Girthy*]

WTF TUNG, HOT TOPIC? Negro, least you dont wear obey.

[Tung]

WTF TUNG, HOT TOPIC? Negro, least you dont wear obey.

What can I say. I'm a scene kid, with urban wear. Why do you think I own so many black tees and band tees haha, and drainpipes jeans?

@sharpnotflat (shawn) - if you have nothing or any good advice to say, please refer to this thread. kthxdie

http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=196979

[*Girthy*]

sean wears fruit of the looms i believe.

[Tung]

^

[shoryuken]

What can I say. I'm a scene kid, with urban wear. Why do you think I own so many black tees and band tees haha, and drainpipes jeans?

@sharpnotflat (shawn) - if you have nothing or any good advice to say, please refer to this thread. kthxdie

http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=196979

...

shawwnnn lookk likee turttllee..

[xTINAA]

I agree with what Christina said. I might repeat some things, so sorry if I do :D

Well, I think it'd be best to approach as a friend, so you don't come on too strong. Especially because you two haven't had any communication with each other for so long. Let her see the guy she liked so much during those nine months and then work up the courage to tell her how much you miss her. Like Christina said, I think it'll make her feel good to know that you've been thinking about her all this time. Don't rush into it though and get ahead of yourself because I think it will be really important to show her that you're going to remain a constant in her life and that you really care. Plus, since you two haven't spoken in so long, you might have to almost re-establish a friendship first for there to be any hopes of a second relationship. Also, try to be optimistic about the whole situation but don't get your hopes up. I don't mean that in a mean way, I'm just saying don't get too worked up about it because there is a chance it won't work out, BUT at the same time, it could. I don't know how to explain that very well but one of my friends always gets her hopes up way too high so if something doesn't meet her expectations or go exactly how she planned, she gets really hurt. I wouldn't want to see you get hurt =)

Anyways, don't be scared because even if the end you risk your own feelings for hopes of a new relationship, it will be worth it to find out the answer. Good luck =)

[shoryuken]

After I graduated high school, I was still in the middle of a relationship that was 8 month strong. It was the longest relationship I've ever been in. That summer I was getting ready to move away, and start off college, while my ex was becoming a senior in high school. Yes, she was one year younger than me. We decided that the whole long distance thing wouldn't work out, and it would be unfair for the both of use to continue the relationship knowing full well that once we got our ways, we would find other people. We broke up that summer after 9 long months. It was the greatest 9 months in my whole 19 years I've ever lived so far.

Even since that relationship, I've had two others. One lasting only a month, and another lasting 3 months. I was never quite as happy with these two relationships I had, as I was with the one I had during my senior year in high school. Lately, I been single for quite some time now, and I just feel depressed nowadays. I think about my relationship with my ex I had 2 years ago, and I wished we never broke up in the first place. I wished I had tried harder to make the long distance work. She was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I blew it. Sometimes it's really hard to find interests in other girls, when I go out, and the girls are like totally hitting on me, but I just ignore them. That's because I still have feelings for my high school ex.

I don't know what I should do here. I mean I haven't talk to her in 2 years, and I know for sure she's still single, and haven't dated anyone since we broke up. I know because I still check her facebook, and myspace and word of mouth from her friends. I need opinions and a little help here on how I should approach her and this situation. How do I tell her I want to be together again. I mean I'm afraid she might reject me, and not want me after these long two years.

I don't know. I just been really sad these past weeks, and regretting I ever made the decision to break up with her. I mean we both agree to break up that summer, but it was me who brought up the idea. She wanted to try to long distance for a while and see how it goes, but I never gave it a try. Sigh..any help would be great here.

... uh huh..

k nub.. guesss da SEXYY princee gittaa helpp u noww..

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k diz howw ginnaaa go downn foo...

dunn calll... dunn im hurr.. dunn nuttinn... IT OVA FOOO..

[AimeeLynn]

All that matters is that I still love you Tung

[LoveToMySilas]

So whats the news on this lucky gal? Have you got in contact with her yet? You can go with the typical (safe) "Hey, long time no talk/see, how've you been?"

[Tung]

So whats the news on this lucky gal? Have you got in contact with her yet? You can go with the typical (safe) "Hey, long time no talk/see, how've you been?"

Not yet, because like I said. I don't live with my parents anymore, where she lives nearby. I moved away to another city that is 2 hours away, and I'm staying for the weekend this week. I'm planning to do it next weekend though, and call her up or something. And see if she wants to hang out and catch up on some things.

All that matters is that I still love you Tung

Haha. I love you too Aimee.

[LoveToMySilas]

^ Sounds like a plan. I wish you the best. Be sure to fill me in!

[pkbabe]

Aww son! How super cute ^_^ Anyways, a way you get in contact with her is by calling her up hen you get to your fam's place. You can start off by saying

'' hi _____ !I'm here at my fam's house for the weekend & i stumbled upon [insert item that reminds you of her/ something she gave you] & thought of you.''

then continue convo with whatever you wanna talk about & make some sort of plans to catch up. Like lunch (no dinner cuz that has a ?date-like? feel at some place you guys used to eat at

Well i hoped i helped in any way =)

[Luna5]

Try to win her back if you love her so much.

[Tung]

^ Sounds like a plan. I wish you the best. Be sure to fill me in!

Okay, so I unexpectingly went home this weekend. Well just Sunday lol, for a day. But yeah, I called her up to tell her I was back home, and asked her if she wanted to hang out and catch up on some things. I drove to her house and picked her up (yes I still remember where she lives after two years haha). We went to Santana Row, and walked around and talking about what we been up to and stuff. We went to a Sushi resturant nearby, and ate a little bit. It was really fun, talking to her again. I know I shouldn't have rushed it, but I haven't been home in a month since I made this topic, and when I finally came back home, I really wanted to hang out with her. It was sorta like a date I think, since Santana Row is hella classy and "romantic" like and it was just the two of us. I didn't tell her I still had feelings for her though yet. We're gonna hang out again sometime again in the near future. But I found out she's still single!

[queen]

^ that's a good pace.

[Tung]

You think so? Well that's good to know I'm not rushing anything.

[tokyo-rose]

Teehee, good job, Tung. Sounds like things are going pretty well!