Stepsons banned from dating until they are 17 Options

[dannyt]

My stepsons step sons are banned from dating until they are over the age of 17. If I were to permit them from dating I'm convinced they would become sexual active.

[misoshiru]

you mean, from dating each other? amirite




there are ways to be sexually active without dating.

[Comptine]

What is with you? You list your age as 28. And in a previous topic, you list their ages to be 12 (at the very least).

Lol. Just cause they can't date doesn't mean they won't have sex. Or date behind your back.

[Heathasm]

are u like some kind of pedo trying to lure young azn bois to ur threads to talk about sex w/u or something

[fameONE]

Do you believe sheltering your children is condusive to their social/interactive development? If you believe that, then you're sadly mistakened. Simply placing that restriction over their heads will cause them to act out of spite, instead of teaching them as much as you can about the world, and how to conduct themselves as respectful (and respectable) adults. What is your justification?

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

are u like some kind of pedo trying to lure young azn bois to ur threads to talk about sex w/u or something

wait, banned by you? either way, they`re gonna do the nasty (probably) eventually.

[transcendentalis...]

moved to relationships

[misoshiru]

Do you believe sheltering your children is condusive to their social/interactive development? If you believe that, then you're sadly mistakened. Simply placing that restriction over their heads will cause them to act out of spite, instead of teaching them as much as you can about the world, and how to conduct themselves as respectful (and respectable) adults. What is your justification?

they're banned from dating each other till they're 17.

[DoubleJ]

I am sorry, but what jurisdiction do you have over somebody else's kids? I don't listen to my moms husband, and that is just that. I am not trying to sound like an ass or anything, but if you are not the biological father, then you should leave it to the mom to make decisions.

[misoshiru]

JAVONN, NO BUTTSECKS TILL THEY'RE 17.

[DoubleJ]

LMAO, ok Yan, but only because you said so!

[dannyt]

I have other posts coming that are not about sex and corporal punishment. I have only made a few posts. If I had made a lot about those subjects then yes its concerning.

Excluding the resposes that I've made to my posts, I've only posted two topics
that are about sex and corporal punishment. That does not make me a pervert.
More posts are coming and they about other topics.

The first topic gave me an idea for the second. And it's not me who's being sick.


I wasn't the one who said " JAVONN, NO BUTTSECKS TILL THEY'RE 17 "

And no not with each other as they are brothers and that's just wrong.

[fameONE]

You posted seeking advice, I asked you a question, following some commentary on your post, based on my perspective. Answer my question.

[michellerrific]

Um. No one said they were gonna start screwing all over the place as soon as they started dating, unless it's obvious they've proven to have that repetition already. I say loosen up a tad but it's not up to me to control your step kids.

[dannyt]

Sorry. Here's my answer to your question.

We're a christian family and believe sex outside of marriage is wrong. Daniel and
Rory understand and they actually believe that sex should be between a loving couple.

They don't want the temptation. I can't take the tempatation away but I can make it
more easy for them to choice the right path.

I love them and I want them to live a good christian life. It does sound harsh but
I believe that it's the right thing to do.

[*paperplane*]

If they really don't want the temptation, they'll avoid it on their own. Imposing an arbitrary limit on their dating will make absolutely no difference. The temptation of sex will more than likely only get stronger if they wait until they're 17, because by that point more girls would be willing to sleep with them. Not to mention that being told not to date doesn't mean they'll lust any less. If it's really their values, they can handle them themselves. If they aren't, well, they're getting to be the age where you can't just impose your views upon them and expect them to buy into it.

Did you wait until marriage to have sex?

[S-Majere]

Sorry. Here's my answer to your question.

We're a christian family and believe sex outside of marriage is wrong. Daniel and
Rory understand and they actually believe that sex should be between a loving couple.

They don't want the temptation. I can't take the tempatation away but I can make it
more easy for them to choice the right path.

I love them and I want them to live a good christian life. It does sound harsh but
I believe that it's the right thing to do.

Which is the flaw of every single religion.

You cannot force your step-sons to be "good" Christians. You can lead by example, express your opinions and let them know your view that sex should be between a loving couple, but you simply cannot ban them from learning all this by themselves. You can't keep teenagers from their desires, urges and inane curiousity in the name of religion and your own beliefs.

Marriage: The self-sacrifice of the woman on the altar of what she was pleased to call her principles. (Jude the Obscure)

[kimmytree]

Sheltering them and not allowing them to do things is just going to make them rebel even more. My parents made that mistake with me.

[illriginal]

My stepsons step sons are banned from dating until they are over the age of 17. If I were to permit them from dating I'm convinced they would become sexual active.

In a sense it is perfectly fine what you're doing. People should be responsible, if you caught your stepson having sexual relations at a young age, then it is perfectly and responsibly right to not tolerate dating at a young age until you feel their mentally mature.

I for one will not let my kids date until they're out of high school and probably college. In my opinion, children, teens, and young adults should concentrate on school and school only. Once completed with education, then they can live their lives how ever they want as long as they're successful.

Sheltering them and not allowing them to do things is just going to make them rebel even more. My parents made that mistake with me.

That's when you send them to another country to live with your family to finish their education there. Rebelling should not be tolerated either.

:P


P.S. I know I know... you white people and Americanized folks are gonna disagree. But my people don't follow those principles.

[kimmytree]

I for one will not let my kids date until they're out of high school and probably college. In my opinion, children, teens, and young adults should concentrate on school and school only. Once completed with education, then they can live their lives how ever they want as long as they're successful.

College... are you serious? I dont know what country you are in, but over here once a child turns 18, they're considered an adult and can do whatever they wish. At that point, parents have no control unless the child decides to give it to them, like I'm doing.

[illriginal]

College... are you serious? I dont know what country you are in, but over here once a child turns 18, they're considered an adult and can do whatever they wish. At that point, parents have no control unless the child decides to give it to them, like I'm doing.

Not under my roof.. trust that. If my child disrespected my honor as a parent with proper parenting skills, then I shall send them to a private school in either Italy or Dominican Republic.

My little cousin, Lisa (18 next month) who I'm so proud of, only has school buddies. She's never dated nor is she currently dating. Lisa in 8th grade already had Duke University looking over her and sending mail to my aunt/uncle about how they want to put her in a high school/university program. They declined it. Now my lil cousin Lisa, who's taking all AP courses (not even ONE elective) in her senior year is literally making AP classes look like child's play. For example... she's in calculus, and she created a calculus equation that in fact does exist already but it is used in terms of firing missiles from planet earth to outer space.


And do you know why?... Because her parents (my favorite uncle and my aunt) brought her up with proper parenting skills. Never has she rebelled, she listens to her elders, never has she cursed... at least not around the family nor at home. In fact she finds cursing to be the worst type of language in any language because it shows lack of educated vocabulary. Hell she even does the cleaning, laundry, babysitting of her lil brother, the dishes, and a bit of cooking in the house.


This to me... is the perfect child. And I give a lot of respect for a pair of parents like my uncle and aunt to bring up children into this world full of crooked, immoral, and disgusting human beings.

And if I had to, I'd move to another country, OUT of the U.S.A. just so I can bring up my children properly.

Rebel for the loss... no matter what. Parent > child.

[Comptine]

^Don't blame a country for your lack of parenting skills. If you can't instill your child with good enough skills to stand on his/her two feet, don't blame the country that's providing you and your family with freedom and a place to be. If you think your parenting skills will be maximized in another country, give it a go.

I love my parents and they had rules for me growing up that I didn't like but now I appreciate them and love them unconditionally for what they have done for me. I don't do stupid stuff because they gave me the lessons and skills I need to be my own person.

Your aunt and uncle are probably great parents. And she sounds like a really smart girl. But, you seem really jaded about how GREAT controlling parents can be. My parents and all their parent friends all agree: children will rebel and you'll need to make the right decisions to not make them hate you. Your cousin might be a great kid but she definitely had disagreements with her parents about some of their rules.

[illriginal]

^Don't blame a country for your lack of parenting skills. If you can't instill your child with good enough skills to stand on his/her two feet, don't blame the country that's providing you and your family with freedom and a place to be. If you think your parenting skills will be maximized in another country, give it a go.

I love my parents and they had rules for me growing up that I didn't like but now I appreciate them and love them unconditionally for what they have done for me. I don't do stupid stuff because they gave me the lessons and skills I need to be my own person.

Your aunt and uncle are probably great parents. And she sounds like a really smart girl. But, you seem really jaded about how GREAT controlling parents can be. My parents and all their parent friends all agree: children will rebel and you'll need to make the right decisions to not make them hate you. Your cousin might be a great kid but she definitely had disagreements with her parents about some of their rules.

You gotta understand, it's a psychological thing. When you spoil a child, when you give a child a treat or toys because they misbehave (the American way), all you're doin is mentally conditioning/programming a child's mind into believing that the parents owe them something no matter what the circumstances are.

Parents now a days are too soft... I see a lot of the wrongs in parents' parenting skills, even my mother's. She spoiled me into a brat and I grew up rebelling, hell I even called my mother a bitch (of course she had my uncle come over and yell at me into oblivion for disrespecting my mother's honor). I learned from my rebelling and my mother's parenting skills and realized all the wrong things she's done. I told her she was too soft with me and spoiled/rewarded me for many wrong things.

And the problem of today is... the fact that parents are too soft, they're either too young, too old, too weak, uneducated, immature, irresponsible etc... there's a lot of elements in todays world (that didn't really exist back before the 1960s) that has caused this sort of mental/parental evolution. Causing a rotting generation after generation.


As far as blaming a country? I can compare my tiny lil country of Italy or Dominican Republic to U.S.A. and my country outweighs the U.S.A in morals, parenting skills, and education.

[Comptine]

You don't have to spoil your child. Once again, it is about YOUR parenting skills. Not other parents. Their kids might come out messed up but if you do it the right way, you kids wouldn't.

Morals, parenting skills, and education? If you compare any country to USA, you'll find GOOD and BAD stuff. You go to the DR or Italy, the drinking age is younger. Would you be alright with your kids drinking earlier than they would here? America's educational system isn't perfect but it's pretty damn good. No matter who you are or how much money you make, there's a school somewhere that would offer you education. The United States has a higher literacy rate than both Italy and the DR.

Morals and parenting skills depend on YOU. Not the country. If you don't give your children the right lessons, no matter where you are, even if it's in your own isolated island, your kids will still be brats.

[misoshiru]

dating does not equal bad grades. When I was in highschool, it was the smartest kids who dated around.

[S-Majere]

When you spoil a child, when you give a child a treat or toys because they misbehave (the American way), all you're doin is mentally conditioning/programming a child's mind into believing that the parents owe them something no matter what the circumstances are.

my country outweighs the U.S.A in morals, parenting skills, and education.

Good grief, Tamacracker.

[kimmytree]

But heck, look at pastors kids. I know about 4 or 5 kids who's dad is a pastor, and all but one of them turned out to be very rebellious.

[illriginal]

But heck, look at pastors kids. I know about 4 or 5 kids who's dad is a pastor, and all but one of them turned out to be very rebellious.

o.O; religion doesn't parent a child though, nor does it give advise on how to parent a child... my uncle isn't even religious, heck my family might as well be agnostic lol.

Good grief, Tamacracker.

Well it's true -.- I mean in my experience at least. U.S.A. is a whole complete different world compared to Italy and Dominican Republic.

[misoshiru]

My friend was banned from dating through highschool by her mother. She was the biggest slut at school.

[illriginal]

My friend was banned from dating through highschool by her mother. She was the biggest slut at school.

Yar... hopefully she catches HIV before she graduates college, only to find herself to be a useless human being that wasted all her life tryin to succeed only to die by a virus she welcomed with open arms. :D

[ArtofBreaking]

You gotta understand, it's a psychological thing. When you spoil a child, when you give a child a treat or toys because they misbehave (the American way), all you're doin is mentally conditioning/programming a child's mind into believing that the parents owe them something no matter what the circumstances are.

Parents now a days are too soft... I see a lot of the wrongs in parents' parenting skills, even my mother's. She spoiled me into a brat and I grew up rebelling, hell I even called my mother a bitch (of course she had my uncle come over and yell at me into oblivion for disrespecting my mother's honor). I learned from my rebelling and my mother's parenting skills and realized all the wrong things she's done. I told her she was too soft with me and spoiled/rewarded me for many wrong things.

And the problem of today is... the fact that parents are too soft, they're either too young, too old, too weak, uneducated, immature, irresponsible etc... there's a lot of elements in todays world (that didn't really exist back before the 1960s) that has caused this sort of mental/parental evolution. Causing a rotting generation after generation.
As far as blaming a country? I can compare my tiny lil country of Italy or Dominican Republic to U.S.A. and my country outweighs the U.S.A in morals, parenting skills, and education.

Ahaha. You think so? Education-wise, if Italy outweighed the U.S.A your flag would be on the moon.
Sorry way off topic, just have to defend my country. :P

[illriginal]

Ahaha. You think so? Education-wise, if Italy outweighed the U.S.A your flag would be on the moon.
Sorry way off topic, just have to defend my country. :P

Uh no... if that was the case, Italy would have to be a capitalist, imperialist nation with the equivalence of havin trillions of dollars. I find it quite laughable that you would associate knowledge with money.

[Comptine]

Uh no... if that was the case, Italy would have to be a capitalist, imperialist nation with the equivalence of havin trillions of dollars. I find it quite laughable that you would associate knowledge with money.

First of all, you are a horrible human being to wish a crippling and fatal disease on someone you never met based on ONE sentence about her character. It is equivalent of wishing death on someone for a very unworthy reason.

Second of all, Italy's illiteracy rate is higher than that of the US.

Third of all, both Russia and China strive to improve their space program. It is not because it is a statement of their wealth. It is a huge testament to their knowledge, capabilities, and scientists.

The US is practically the only country that can guarantee higher education and learning to anyone, regardless of their status or history. We have community colleges and state/city schools. We offer higher learning to inmates. We offer degree programs to ANYONE who has the desire to achieve take them. The US is not perfect but that capitalist, imperialist nation that has trillions of dollars provides a lot of good services to everyone, regardless of who they are.

[kayleighjay]

Preventing your stepsons from dating in order to keep them from participating in sexual acts is probably the worst thing you could do. In my opinion at least, and as a 16 year old, I like to think I have some insight to what is going on in your stepsons' heads.

Like any other thing you try to put out of their reach, telling them that dating is forbidden will only make the pull to do so even stronger. "Forbidden love is the greatest." There are thousands of ways for them to date behind your back. And even more ways for them to have sex behind your back. Its so easy now-a-days. Society has come to accept precarious sexual activity as the norm. Do you really think that teenagers wouldn't turn their head and choose not to notice as a boy and girl lock themselves in a bedroom at a party, or even a simple get together? Really now.

If you don't want your stepsons to EVER have sex, you might as well purchase a few chastity belts, and chain them to their bed posts. Because unless you sit ontop of them 24/7 they'll find a way if they want to badly enough.

If you truely are trying to look out for them, talk to them. Tell them how sex should be reserved for love, or atleast till they are older. Explain the ways to practice safe sex. Explain the consequences that can result from jumping in bed. Show them pictures, statistics, and tell them stories. Try to scare them by being brutally honest. And then finally trust them to make the right decision. That's the only way they're going to mature.

[illriginal]

First of all, you are a horrible human being to wish a crippling and fatal disease on someone you never met based on ONE sentence about her character. It is equivalent of wishing death on someone for a very unworthy reason.

Ha please... if this was Arabia back in time, I'd be killin infidels all day long. You can call me a horrible human being but I'm above your opinions.

Second of all, Italy's illiteracy rate is higher than that of the US.

Ohhhh please please please prove it. You have no f**kin clue about Italy's education and how much MORE powerful their educational system is than here in the lazy ass U.S.A. Why do you think I went to Italy for education? lol

What they teach at Cambridge or Stanford for $200,000-500,000, I learned the same exact shit nearly for free.

Third of all, both Russia and China strive to improve their space program. It is not because it is a statement of their wealth. It is a huge testament to their knowledge, capabilities, and scientists.

Right... and uh they can't do it until they have trillion of dollars to commit to that project 100% of the way. What's your point?

The US is practically the only country that can guarantee higher education and learning to anyone, regardless of their status or history. We have community colleges and state/city schools. We offer higher learning to inmates. We offer degree programs to ANYONE who has the desire to achieve take them. The US is not perfect but that capitalist, imperialist nation that has trillions of dollars provides a lot of good services to everyone, regardless of who they are.

Right, while other countries have free education and their people are more educated about America than Americans themselves. Do you know why people from other countries such as Cuba are more intelligent than American educated people?... Because their education system is free, thus making the people strive even harder to get the best education they can. When you start makin people pay for education, people tend to be wishy-washy about education. Like here in America... and don't tell me that shit aint the norm here in the U.S. cuz if it wasn't you wouldn't have these commercials about how it's important to go to school and how they should just pay up the price cuz hopefully in the long run they'll succeed. Empty promises.

This imperialist nation that has trillions of dollars provides nothing but debt for the people in order for it to survive. And just to let you know, because of our "imperialist/capitalist" nation has been spendin more money than the country can produce, it is your sorry ass imperialist/capitalist nation that's gonna fail. It's in the American destiny... it's meant to happen. What must rise, must come crashing down.


So much for your educational system... it can even teach how to keep the economy balanced lol... yet a poor ass non-materialistic country has a population full of happy and educated humans, who have nothin to worry about their economy. Instead they have to worry about pieces of shit nations like this one who try to exploit their goods and enslave their people lol

YOU.FAIL.

[Comptine]

America's literacy rate is 99%. Italy is 98.4%. Dominican Republic is 87%. America also has a lower unemployment rate: 4.6%. Italy is 6.7% and Dominican Republic is 15%.

Cuba has better services, true. I think it's actually a great country with a wonder public health system. I want America to emulate it because our public health care system sucks.

HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? People spend thousands of dollars on education in America. Most people in America are middle class. They can't afford to dump their parents money away. Why would that make them LAZIER? How do you account for the people who come overseas to study here? We have educators and resources from EVERYWHERE. Yes, it sucks that we have to pay. But the quality is still there.

A lot of things are about money, no matter where you go.

You know what? Forget it. You hate America so much, you should think about moving. Because a lot of the constitutional rights you mind in most democratic countries were started by and modeled after the US. As much as you dislike it, much of the luxuries in your life, anywhere, is thanks to people from America.

[illriginal]

America's literacy rate is 99%. Italy is 98.4%. Dominican Republic is 87%. America also has a lower unemployment rate: 4.6%. Italy is 6.7% and Dominican Republic is 15%.

Cuba has better services, true. I think it's actually a great country with a wonder public health system. I want America to emulate it because our public health care system sucks.

HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? People spend thousands of dollars on education in America. Most people in America are middle class. They can't afford to dump their parents money away. Why would that make them LAZIER? How do you account for the people who come overseas to study here? We have educators and resources from EVERYWHERE. Yes, it sucks that we have to pay. But the quality is still there.

A lot of things are about money, no matter where you go.

You know what? Forget it. You hate America so much, you should think about moving. Because a lot of the constitutional rights you mind in most democratic countries were started by and modeled after the US. As much as you dislike it, much of the luxuries in your life, anywhere, is thanks to people from America.

ROFLMAO I'm done... you don't even give me any proof. You throw numbers out and the funny part is, you don't even have a source to back it up. =\

sourceless rebuttals with compensations of agreements that you have no clue about.

Oh and just to let you know... democracy is a joke. I rather have communism than this fake ass so called democracy.

And my luxuries... I actually thank Japan and a few European countries for... I don't even think I own a piece of property created by America other than the building I live in.


Also... lower unemployment rate? Where did you get that one from? Right-Wing Conservatives? Or Bush and his CIA? LOL

[transcendentalis...]

Honest question, Tama, *if you live in the US*, why the heck do you even stay?

[illriginal]

Honest question, Tama, *if you live in the US*, why the heck do you even stay?

To make plenty of money til about 40 years old or so.. then move the eff out to a poor ass country that's morally/socially better than the U.S., to be quite honest.

Unless something gets in the way of my plan... like a nuclear war or something, then I'd leave asap. But as for now... I'm just tryin to build, save up as much money and move my ass to my paradise.

[datass]

uhhh okay
nothing to do with his stepsons having sex.

[illriginal]

uhhh okay
nothing to do with his stepsons having sex.

I answer to questions that are directed towards me, ok?

[hypnotique]

Pretty soon you will come back to cB in like 5-10 years or when ever they are over 17 and heres your post.

Im a control freak and because of my stupidity my sons are now in the closet gay because I deprived them of sexytime and kissytime.Now women dont even bother with them.They are like "WTF LOL LOL N00B"

[illriginal]

Uhm... lets look at reality. That sort of moral view has lasted for decades, yet there's plenty of heterosexual men and women who are married, dating, or simply fornicating. Soo... if it ain't broken, don't fix it. Obviously people are tryin to fix what they consider is broken but it's only makin things worst.

[shatteredboness]

there are ways to be sexually active and not dating.
there are ways to date and not be sexually active.
i would hope they were brought up well enough to know NOT to have sex before age 17.
and if it's a question of their grades dropping or being less successful or what the hell ever, let me be an example. i'm 17, get good grades, and i'm pretty successful.

oh and by the way, they're probably dating behind your back.