uhhh. awkward silences. Options

[lovescream]

D: It's been a month since my bf and I have been together, but a couple of months since we became friends. We never were that close of friends, but we did talk sometimes and hung out, etc.

But now, like, I realized there are a lot of awkward silences when we're together. Because we've been together a lot more now. But the silences are killing me. When we're together, yes, I feel comfortable with him, but even then our conversations are dead. I mean once we spark it up, it's great, but then later it dies and it we end up filling the awkward silence with sooooo's and anyyyyway's, and that goes nowhere, really.

Gah. Really, and our conversations on AIM die extremely quick.
I know we have a lot in common, and yeah, but for some reason, it just does. Lol.

Gahh. Help? D: I mean I know he plays a part in this, so I don't wanna be the one blabbering on and on and annoy him. Soo, errr. Grr. Haha.

[tokyo-rose]

Try discussing something that you don't have in common and see where that gets you. Maybe it'll lead you to a friendly and interesting debate.

[dustbunny]

start quizzing him on the cliche stuff: food, colors, weather, etc. eventually the absurdity of your incessant questions will get him to lighten up and perhaps the two of you will feel more at ease with each other. along the way, you'll also be able to discover some more information about him and vice versa. be creative with the questions.

this awkwardness is probably due to the fact that the two of you weren't close friends to begin with, so this is natural. just try to get to know each other and NEVER USE THE "hey what's up nm" crap. just start blabbering away. over time, begin to ask him more open-ended questions and make him elaborate on his answers

[ArtofBreaking]

^^Agreed, most GREAT relationships are based on a GREAT friendship that usually came first. However some relationships have all components and just no spark.

Stick to the 20 questions bit, see where it goes from there.

[lovescream]

^ Yeah, that's actually probably what I'm used to. All my past relationships were from good friendships, so it started and ended pretty smoothly, but this is different so I'm like, cluuuueless rofl.

Gahh, haha, it's probably late but we already do the "hey what's up nm" crap. XD that's what he says when he IMs me.

Anddddd, we always like ask each other questions. >_< That's how we were a couple of days before he asked me out and a couple of days after, and every now and then. I'm running out of questions, srsly, rofl.

[iDecay]

Ahh, Toby, I know how that feels. We're not together but yeah. It's just hella complicated.

Anyways.. We always end up with awkward silences, too. It's getting worse. I try the question crap but he gives just says yes or no even if it's not even a yes or no question. I DON'T KNOW, I'M FRUSTRATED

[Elba]

If you guys have awkward silences when you're together, don't think of them as being awkward. Just enjoy it; enjoy his company.

[dustbunny]

^ I don't think they're quite at that sort of point in the relationship yet though.

the whole "what's up thing" is really foreboding, unless you are a great conversationalist it can be very difficult to turn that sort of conversation from "well i'm just doing homework" into something you guys are both mutually excited about. next time if you guys are aiming, either im him first with "HEY GUESS WHAT etc etc" see if he can share your joy in whatever you did or just relate some sort of fun experience you had that day.

as for questions, here are a couple off the top of my head. ask EXTREMELY random ones that are just like WTF and make sure to overwhelm/bombard him; it really helps to relieve tension.

-allergies
-how often he trims his nails
-is his second toe longer than his big toe
-grapefruit?
-sunsets or sunrise
-coffee or smoothies?
-least favorite book
-does he do his own laundry
-does he know how to fold clothes
-WHAT IS HIS FAVORITE BRAND OF SHAMPOO

yeah these questions are getting a bit effeminate but you get the point, if you can't get him to give you decent answers that promote a thriving conversation, then you might want to consider why you're in this relationship. it may be too early to think about it, but I would question why you like this guy or vice versa if you guys can't actually communicate on a daily basis. good luck!

[Comptine]

Did you know, on average, an awkward silence occurs every 7 minutes in a conversation?

Don't try to fix the awkward silences with more conversation because then it becomes forced. Try doing new stuff that will spark more/new topics to talk about. Maybe go watch a movie and then review it with him. Or try a new restaurant and talk about the food. Just think of new activities to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and there was a time when we had nothing to talk about. Then, we started doing new things: going to Florida on Spring break, going movie hopping, eating at different restaurants we found on the internet, etc.

[Tung]

You're finally dating that guy who's like 18 or way older than you right? Wow, I feel sorry for Mark.

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

Try discussing something that you don't have in common and see where that gets you. Maybe it'll lead you to a friendly and interesting debate.

I agree with this. I think you should spice it up by mentioning things you don`t have in common. I mean even if you argue, atleast there`s no awkward silence, right?

[Castaway]

be more random, make out during those silences

[markmejia]

You're finally dating that guy who's like 18 or way older than you right? Wow, I feel sorry for Mark.

I'll be okay.

[shoryuken]

when tha silence.. mean u guyz ovaa da crush/love...

wen u boy n girl like each otha.. dey alway got stuff da talk bout..

[dustbunny]

THERE ARE THESE THINGS CALLED THE LETTERS "E, T, R, and H"

THERE ARE THESE THINGS CALLED VERBS

THERE ARE THINGS CALLED ARTICLES

THERE IS THIS THING CALLED THE BRAIN

[lovescream]

^

HI TINA, HI MARK, HI TUNG. :D

Lmfao, actually, yeah, ionno but tonight he's the one bursting out with random stuff. xD Yay, haha.

[markmejia]

^

HI TINA, HI MARK, HI TUNG. :D

Lmfao, actually, yeah, ionno but tonight he's the one bursting out with random stuff. xD Yay, haha.

[/spam]

Btw Betty, Toby says she loves you. :] Bcuz u r a helpful.

[Tung]

Mark, Betty, Toby 3 some action?

Tung director of this event? I'm lovin' it.

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

THERE ARE THESE THINGS CALLED THE LETTERS "E, T, R, and H"

THERE ARE THESE THINGS CALLED VERBS

THERE ARE THINGS CALLED ARTICLES

THERE IS THIS THING CALLED THE BRAIN

end of story.

[shoryuken]

endd of STFFUUU!!!

nicckaaaa plzz..

[iDecay]

HI TOBY!

Yay for him being random!

[fameONE]

endd of STFFUUU!!!

nicckaaaa plzz..

End your own existence. By doing so you'll be contributing to this forum.

[shoryuken]

i bet u i got mo gamee den u FOO!!

i can get gurlz without tryin 2 foo!!

[dustbunny]

and by get gurlz you mean get gurlz to hurlz.

[shoryuken]

LMAO!! wtf withh all da gurlzz on here phuckin BASH me every chancee dey get../ !!

knockk da gaay shiett of!!

[transcendentalis...]

i bet u i got mo gamee den u FOO!!

i can get gurlz without tryin 2 foo!!

what are we in, grade school?
and please, can you spell correctly?

anyway, i would suggest that you guys grab some food, go out somewhere busy and just people-watch. you can start conversation and whenever it seems to die down, find some ridiculously obscure-looking person and point it out, talk about it... don't talk trash, but it can't be so bad to find something weird to talk about right? :/

good luckk

[shoryuken]

what are we in, grade school?
and please, can you spell correctly?

anyway, i would suggest that you guys grab some food, go out somewhere busy and just people-watch. you can start conversation and whenever it seems to die down, find some ridiculously obscure-looking person and point it out, talk about it... don't talk trash, but it can't be so bad to find something weird to talk about right? :/

good luckk

LMAO!!!! wat happen wen tha no obscure lookin person around../

[transcendentalis...]

i'll call you.

[shoryuken]

OoO shiet..!!

2 bad i'll be with u mom at that time.. so my cell ginnna b offf..

[dannyordinary]

you could try asking a lot of questions, but that would get annoying.

did you guys talk much before?
and do you guys have much in common, because that might be a problem?

[Joss-eh-lime]

"awkward" silences happen all the time with even the best of friends. but, maybe if you take a closer look you'll see they aren't really "awkward" just normal silences.
Fill up those times to think about what you'll say next, to make it meaningful, rather than something that will go in one ear and out the other.

[DeadlyKitten]

awkward silences happen. wait it out. try to find something new both of you have yet to do. like a new restaraunt, a new movie, a new sport. just something new. believe me that really helps. when the candle burns out, light a new one. gotta keep the flame going

[JaseB]

just give each other space i guess
the more you're withe each other
the more awkwardness
good luck

[Amaranthus]

Just stare at him.
You'll eventually make out.
And forget all about it.
Well until next time.

[Joss-eh-lime]

awkward silences happen. wait it out. try to find something new both of you have yet to do. like a new restaraunt, a new movie, a new sport. just something new. believe me that really helps. when the candle burns out, light a new one. gotta keep the flame going

i really like that idea

[dustbunny]

Just stare at him.
You'll eventually make out.
And forget all about it.
Well until next time.

palabra.

[Tung]

I really think you two should break up if this is the case. It sucks short term, but will benefit you both in the long run.

[JCLore]

just tell him "this always happens, theres always an awekward silence". but say it as if your just joking around, or if your a bit tipsy

[Joss-eh-lime]

^are you for real?
say it as if you are tipsy.


now that you've read that statement again does it sound smart to you?

[JCLore]

no miss
sorry miss

Edit: how bout if your really hyped up???

[libertie]

I usually am the cause of awkward silences.

In all seriousness, relationships work when you know what to do with those "awkward" silences. As long as you two are comfortable, that's the most important thing.

[lovescream]

I really think you two should break up if this is the case. It sucks short term, but will benefit you both in the long run.

Um, thanks. Haha. ._.
We're actually trying to make it work despite the age difference.

He confronted me about the awkward silence thing and yeah,
now we don't have much awkward silences anymore. :D

[JCLore]

^Yay
see i knew dealing with it up front would work.i didnt neccasarily say it like that though