Advice wanted:, suicidal friends? Options

[imperfectionistx]

In relation to the last topic I posted,
My most recent ex keeps telling me he is going to kill himself.
Which makes no sense to me, because HE'S the one that keeps leaving me.
He ends up saying he hates life and wants to die (after dumping me and blaming me for ruining it for him, for whatever reason).

I'm (pretty) sure he's serious, because he HAS tried to before, and luckily he's still here.
But the thing is-- how do you know when they're not serious?
Sometimes I question when he is telling the truth, but I'm afraid to not believe him because that might be the time he actually does it (and doesn't live through it).
My last-last boyfriend was the same way, but he lied about it.
He always would tell me that he was going to kill himself, or he was in the process of doing it. But it was always a lie. I'd panic and call him and his parents non stop, every time he said he'd do it, but he never did. Never even came close.

This time, I'm not so sure when my most recent ex is being serious or not. As of now it's frustrating and frightening because it keeps happening and I dont know what I'd do if he actually followed through. Another one of my friends was like this also. We discussed suicide (morbid as it may seem) a couple times. Now, she's into drinking. I worry about her, but sadly we are not as close as we used to be.

I'm unsure of what to do about these kinds of situations. I'm concerned but don't know if I'm being concerned for real reasons. I mean, I know that if anyone talks like that, you SHOULD be alarmed, right? I'd think just about everyone has contemplated suicide at some point in their lives. But what if sometimes you really think they're all talk?

Are any of your friends (or bf/gf) like this? How would you handle the situation? How should I?

[Castaway]

talk to him. "Life is long enough for you to make a change."
Why does he want to die?

you can also mention that it's a sin, if he's christian.

[MissHygienic]

Well, first of all, how do you try to kill yourself? You're either a liar and looking for pathetic sympathy, or you're dead. If he really wanted to be dead, he wouldn't spend so much of his time telling you that he wants to be dead, and just fucking do it.

I've known too many pulling out the suicidal card for me to feel any pity for these type of people. I've known at least five suicidal people, and it was a fucking joke. They never really meant it, they just liked to have people care about them. It's bitchy and it's manipulative; there are smarter and less annoying ways to grab people's attention.

If this is cry for help, though, you should help him and talk him through it. I don't know him like you do, but this "cried wolf" shit doesn't work with me. I mean, I would think that you'd talk it through with them, anyway.

talk to him. "Life is long enough for you to make a change."

Don't try to talk sense like that into these people. It won't help them. It just annoys all of us when you're all, "Look how much you have going for you!" Tell them how suicide is a god damned selfish thing to do to those around you, and maybe they should grow up and smell the flowers already, the world doesn't revolve around them.

[Castaway]

hmm i didn't read your previous post btw. That guy needs to fix his own issues isntead of taking the easy way out. Life wouldn't be so depressing all the time if he didn't act so depressed. (does that make sense? haha)

anyways i would still help somebody that might commit suicide.. even in your situation because i would probably feel guilty for not trying if it really happened.

Don't try to talk sense like that into these people. It won't help them. It just annoys all of us when you're all, "Look how much you have going for you!" Tell them how suicide is a god damned selfish thing to do to those around you, and maybe they should grow up and smell the flowers already, the world doesn't revolve around them.

yea.. but you never know. What if they really commit suicide and you didn't try to stop them?

[imperfectionistx]

hmm i didn't read your previous post btw. That guy needs to fix his own issues isntead of taking the easy way out. Life wouldn't be so depressing all the time if he didn't act so depressed. (does that make sense? haha)

anyways i would still help somebody that might commit suicide.. even in your situation because i would probably feel guilty for not trying if it really happened.


yea.. but you never know. What if they really commit suicide and you didn't try to stop them?

Yeah... that was my stand. I would feel horrible if it actually happened.
Well anyway, that's what I told him. He tells me all the time "You make it so hard for me"
and I tell him that he makes it hard for himself.
Then he tells me that I don't care about anyone but myself and I can never take the time to understand how he feels.
I guess I don't some of the time, but when I do, he takes advantage of it (says he doesnt) and he says that when he is nice to me, I take advantage of him (which I must do, I suppose, since I notice I do here and there).

Thanks for the advice.

[imperfectionistx]

Well, first of all, how do you try to kill yourself? You're either a liar and looking for pathetic sympathy, or you're dead. If he really wanted to be dead, he wouldn't spend so much of his time telling you that he wants to be dead, and just fucking do it.

I've known too many pulling out the suicidal card for me to feel any pity for these type of people. I've known at least five suicidal people, and it was a fucking joke. They never really meant it, they just liked to have people care about them. It's bitchy and it's manipulative; there are smarter and less annoying ways to grab people's attention.

If this is cry for help, though, you should help him and talk him through it. I don't know him like you do, but this "cried wolf" shit doesn't work with me. I mean, I would think that you'd talk it through with them, anyway.


Don't try to talk sense like that into these people. It won't help them. It just annoys all of us when you're all, "Look how much you have going for you!" Tell them how suicide is a god damned selfish thing to do to those around you, and maybe they should grow up and smell the flowers already, the world doesn't revolve around them.

He downed a bottle of somas (but puked it all back up).
I wonder sometimes if he just wants my attention.
That was the only time he really tried anything (as far as I know).
I tell him it's selfish to think that way and use it against me.
If I told him I was going to kill myself, he'd tell me "Go ahead. I know you won't anyway."
I dont know what to talk to him about because when he gets like that he wont talk to me or anything. He just tells me he's going to do it and ignores my calls, and I spend the day panicking.
I just worry for the day he'll really mean it, and I'll be the one ignoring him.

[imperfectionistx]

talk to him. "Life is long enough for you to make a change."
Why does he want to die?

you can also mention that it's a sin, if he's christian.

Unfortunately, he's not christian, lol.
Crazy, my last-last boyfriend threw I fit that I was buddhist and told me I was going to hell when I died and begged me to change religion because he would go to heaven and I wouldnt.

Anyway, I think he's past the point of being able to change... I mean being that young until now basically, those years are important in growth and figuring out who you are... being pampered for 5 years means he's not going to settle for anything less than the best now, and he doesn't understand why I won't give it to him. I think he thinks that ALL girls are supposed to cater to the guy's every whim. Hmm.

[S-Majere]

Sounds like you have a very unique taste in men, etiNi!

I honestly don't have the time of day for people like this. I had one ex best friend who did this sort of thing all for the attention. It's selfish, puts a burden on everybody else and is plain ridiculous. Try sending this guy to Africa, he might get the meaning of the word 'hardship'.

Aye, I know comparing modern woes to the third world isn't exactly constructive, but you need to stop feeling sorry for this guy - this is his "burden" to bear and he has to dig himself out.

Cut all contact with him, ignore his 'I will kill myself by downing some alcohol' rants and stay strong. Honestly, there are guys out there that treat you like you're the only girl in the world. Find one.

[imperfectionistx]

Sounds like you have a very unique taste in men, etiNi!

I honestly don't have the time of day for people like this. I had one ex best friend who did this sort of thing all for the attention. It's selfish, puts a burden on everybody else and is plain ridiculous. Try sending this guy to Africa, he might get the meaning of the word 'hardship'.

Aye, I know comparing modern woes to the third world isn't exactly constructive, but you need to stop feeling sorry for this guy - this is his "burden" to bear and he has to dig himself out.

Cut all contact with him, ignore his 'I will kill myself by downing some alcohol' rants and stay strong. Honestly, there are guys out there that treat you like you're the only girl in the world. Find one.

Thanks for the advice (:
Seems like that's what everyone says... he needs to shape up on his own.
Too bad it's not as easy as me saying "Just do it" :(

[icecreamisyummy]

i just got a book at school about how to tell if your friends are beign suicidal. i havaent read it, its only a couple pages. umm maybe if i read it in thext few days i can giv eou the few key points

[Silly--x]

if he wants to die then let him be.. if he thinks life is not worth livin the its hes not worth explainin things to.. i think that if he really hates life its best if he really just die withut anyone stoppin him on his way?

[Call911Quick]

Just call suicide prevention hotline, and then you're not legally responsible for his future actions.

Leave him alone. Either he's an attention-seeking emo kid or he has a psychological problem. If it's the former, he won't kill himself. If it's the latter, suicide prevention can do a better job than we can.

[shoryuken]

justt buyy the guy some ice cream..

[ChangeofHeart]

Just call suicide prevention hotline, and then you're not legally responsible for his future actions.

Leave him alone. Either he's an attention-seeking emo kid or he has a psychological problem. If it's the former, he won't kill himself. If it's the latter, suicide prevention can do a better job than we can.

I 2nd this, this is the best possible solution.

[LizzieCupcakes]

if he trys anything or calls you saying hes gonna do something bad at that moment just call up 911 and theyll probably end up doing something

[jaeman]

The best thing you can do is to be a friend, it's that simple, and have a nice long conversation, making them feel accepted and wanted, especially important.

[S-Majere]

The best thing you can do is to be a friend, it's that simple, and have a nice long conversation, making them feel accepted and wanted, especially important.

What? Did you even read the thread?

Leave the guy to it.

[shoryuken]

if he trys anything or calls you saying hes gonna do something bad at that moment just call up 911 and theyll probably end up doing something

they'll drag his ass to a mental hospital.. HAHAHAH!!! n hes gonna come after her when he get out.. ROFL!!