How are you supposed to feel |
How are you supposed to feel |
Dec 28 2007, 03:58 PM
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#1
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Newbie ![]() Group: Member Posts: 7 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 600,541 |
When you've lost your best friend of over ten years?
Because I just now, feel so torn, but at the same time, I don't feel anything. I want you to know I tried my hardest, and you know, I might be the only person who could handle all of that the way I did. It's not about the one little incident, but everything else before that caused it to occur. And I still can't put the blame on anyone else but me. But I don't want to be a resentful person, so I'm letting it (you) go. Maybe I shouldn't just yet, but I am. I'm not being vain when I say this because it's probably the truest thing I'll ever say. I am a lot more deserving, and I can be replaced but I'll always be the biggest missing piece in that puzzle. So tell me you're not sorry because you realized it was the right thing to do and I can't keep coming back just so I could be below my level. |
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Dec 28 2007, 04:43 PM
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#2
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![]() we go a-drowning ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 964 Joined: Apr 2007 Member No: 519,725 |
im sorry people dont reply. your approach to writing is confusing.
so im going to answer the question, though i dont know if youre really asking it. i lost my mom at 14, and she was my best friend. i felt depressed, guilty, and betrayed. but, you know, life goes on. |
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Dec 28 2007, 05:11 PM
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#3
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Newbie ![]() Group: Member Posts: 7 Joined: Dec 2007 Member No: 600,541 |
I know. I tell myself that so many times. It's just that I really don't think I should feel this way. Like I've just lost over a hundred pounds and I'm in better shape than ever. That's not how it should've been.. ? I weeped for a good sixty seconds and let it out the window. There must be something wrong with me. I must be so heartless.
I wish I could feel the way I'm supposed to. |
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Dec 28 2007, 05:26 PM
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#4
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![]() we go a-drowning ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 964 Joined: Apr 2007 Member No: 519,725 |
its just your coping mechanism, dont feel bad about it. no one expects you to dwell on it, and no one expects you to act normally either.
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Dec 28 2007, 06:14 PM
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#5
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![]() sleep now, moon ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,540 Joined: May 2007 Member No: 526,212 |
i can relate.. or at least i think i can. when people i knew passed, i barely cried at all. it's not that i wasn't miserable, because i know for sure i was - it's just that .. i don't know, i don't really cry over things like that.
people grieve differently. the day after one of my friend's grandmother died (they were super close), he told me that he thought he just wouldn't talk to people at all the next day, that he'd probably skip school, etc.. instead, he's at school, being his normal dumb self. he didn't cry either. it's not that none of us have hearts. it's just a coping mechanism. |
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