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How are you supposed to feel
flytulip
post Dec 28 2007, 03:58 PM
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When you've lost your best friend of over ten years?
Because I just now, feel so torn, but at the same time, I don't feel anything.



I want you to know I tried my hardest, and you know, I might be the only person who could handle all of that the way I did. It's not about the one little incident, but everything else before that caused it to occur. And I still can't put the blame on anyone else but me. But I don't want to be a resentful person, so I'm letting it (you) go. Maybe I shouldn't just yet, but I am. I'm not being vain when I say this because it's probably the truest thing I'll ever say. I am a lot more deserving, and I can be replaced but I'll always be the biggest missing piece in that puzzle. So tell me you're not sorry because you realized it was the right thing to do and I can't keep coming back just so I could be below my level.
 
 
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deplorable
post Dec 28 2007, 04:43 PM
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we go a-drowning
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im sorry people dont reply. your approach to writing is confusing.

so im going to answer the question, though i dont know if youre really asking it.

i lost my mom at 14, and she was my best friend. i felt depressed, guilty, and betrayed. but, you know, life goes on.
 
flytulip
post Dec 28 2007, 05:11 PM
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I know. I tell myself that so many times. It's just that I really don't think I should feel this way. Like I've just lost over a hundred pounds and I'm in better shape than ever. That's not how it should've been.. ? I weeped for a good sixty seconds and let it out the window. There must be something wrong with me. I must be so heartless.

I wish I could feel the way I'm supposed to.
 
deplorable
post Dec 28 2007, 05:26 PM
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we go a-drowning
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its just your coping mechanism, dont feel bad about it. no one expects you to dwell on it, and no one expects you to act normally either.
 
transcendentalis...
post Dec 28 2007, 06:14 PM
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i can relate.. or at least i think i can. when people i knew passed, i barely cried at all. it's not that i wasn't miserable, because i know for sure i was - it's just that .. i don't know, i don't really cry over things like that.

people grieve differently. the day after one of my friend's grandmother died (they were super close), he told me that he thought he just wouldn't talk to people at all the next day, that he'd probably skip school, etc.. instead, he's at school, being his normal dumb self. he didn't cry either.

it's not that none of us have hearts. it's just a coping mechanism.
 

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