Growing apart, Longterm relationships getting... boring Options

[xFaith]

Have you ever had a long term relationship, and suddenly felt like you were growing apart?

Because i am having this right now. And I know it's normal, but it just feels so boring all the time. We've been doing lots of different stuff together but still.. It's just not how it once was. Im starting to notice too that other guys are interested in me too. Dont get me wrong, i wouldn't cheat, but I do love the attention. Not that my boyfriend not gives me enough attention, because he does.

I would really appreciate to put down what you have done if this has happened to you, or what you think i should do. =)

[shadowcat]

Im in a long term relationship and Also feeling the same way as you do, but Iam not breaking up with my boyfriend becuase of this >.< ... Its just a stage in a relationship, you ll get through it .. it up to u to decide.

[eboarder2020]

There is a point in a relationship where you're going to either A) work hard or B) break up... Most people pick B when things get board. Most peple think of love as something ALWAYS exciting and ALWAYS full of romance. As lavish as that sounds its far from the truth. As the people who are married, have commitments and stuff. They'll tell you that a relationship is always a work in progress. The only way to lose interest is to not work at the relationship

[S-Majere]

I'm also in a long term relationship. It's going from strength to strength.

It does take some work; but I would never call keeping my love alive 'hard work'. There is said to be a certain point that couples reach; usually after two or three years of being together - when things to seem to lose their 'oomph' and the relationship becomes almost like a necessary chore. But I've yet to experience that.

My advice to you is to keep things going. Arrange different things to do together and invest in quality time over the quantity of time you spend together.

[Just_Dream]

It also depends on the circumstances of the relationship. My relationship's as strong as ever, but hey I DO check out guys from time to time. My boyfriend checks out other chicks too, but we know that neither could ever replace each other. There were times where I did get bored, but you just gotta keep the spark alive.

Also, since I'm in college now, and everyone knows were dating and I can OPENLY be with my boyfriend at school and in front of our families, we're able to be with each other a lot. PLUS, I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, and I can safely say that I woudln't mind moving in with him. That's like, the step before you getting married - moving in, lol.


Anyways, rethink about why you're with your boyfriend. Think of al the good qualities he has. Find some things you could do together. Maybe it'll rekindle the spark you both had before! I mean, if you are so bored that the "love" feels like it's dying, then maybe it's best to leave the relationship. You don't want to hang onto something that might eventually fall apart, and lose other opportunities. i know quie a bit of people that have dated for a while and I didn't know why they broke up... But things change. Things change AND people change, and sometimes it's best to leave it if nothing seems to be keeping you two together.

But at the same time, yu have to talk to your boyfriend about it. It's great to ask others for advice, But if your boyfriend still feels like you two have something amazing and thinks that the relationship is still strong, tell him how you feel about it. He may not be aware, or maybe you're not aware of how much you mean to him.


Good Luck. :]

[xFaith]

I'm going to talk to him about it this afternoon. Im going to ask if he feels like its dying too, and if he does... well yeah.

But its just so sad, because we have all these plans.. And I love being with his friends and familly

[Trinity54]

I had an long term relationship myself and sadly it did not work out.

We just as you said grew apart I blame myself I let our relationship grow dull and began to neglect him in all my fault now I know better so if I can find another one that I can love I will not make the same mistake twice.

In all talk with him let him know your feelings and work on the relationship don't let it die.

[*jeanna*]

9 months was my cut off, which is bad but i was only 16-17 so w/e. i have no idea how people can stay so long in relationships. especially if they suck

[barbieeedollxo]

i was with this one guy for 2 yrs..and we tried hard to get things to work but after a while it just got to where we couldn't do it we had grown apart too much and i miss him like crazy but its better this way and im still friends with him

[xFaith]

I broke it off... It was a really hard thing to do but i think it's the right thing. I need time to figure everything out, maybe ill give it another shot but not now.

I'm just so sad because I know he's broken... I'm his only friend and he is very lonely right now. And I love him so much so that just crushes me.

[stephinika]

Christina (Just_Dream) has great advice, and has the experience to back it up. Daang.

But I agree with her, you have to rethink why you're in the relationship and how much you care about him. I was with one ex for almost 2 years but it ended up dying off, but at the beginning of the relationship I never thought I would end it, but I did. I was getting bored and then when I thought about it I just realized I didn't feel that way towards him anymore, but I didn't randomly decide this on a whim...it took plenty of thought. So just be sure to be careful and think about it. Don't stay in the relationshipfor the sake of it and the length of time, but don't break up over this so quickly either.

[shiftieeyedpnoi]

^ A bit late, but still a good advice. Think about it. *taps his temple*