independance, lacking it. |
| *[2]Nekked* |
 Jun 20 2004, 08:53 PM
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#1
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i have this friend who just..lacks any opinion of her own or any independance. dont get me wrong though, i love her to death, but sometimes i wish she would speak up more. she really needs more confidence. but sometimes i just cant stand it when people let others step all over them. her boyfriend is such an effing bastard sometimes, the way he talks to her i just wanna punch him, but its really none of my business, and i really wish she would stand up for herself. i dunno... had to get that out..
what are your thoughts on these kind of situations and people? |
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Jun 20 2004, 09:26 PM
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 Senior Member  Group: Official Member Posts: 4,750 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,581 |
I have a friend like that but not anymore. Because me and my other friends went over to help him out. It took like two weeks but it worked! He has like 99% more confidence in himself.
 I felt like Dr. Phil. 
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Jun 21 2004, 12:07 AM
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#3
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 pixel hybrid Group: Member Posts: 6,410 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,081 |
I need independance. But I'm afraid people might hate me. You see, she might think that independence; if she speaks then people hate her. Its about what people think..
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Jun 21 2004, 12:26 AM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 143 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,918 |
my best friend used to be like this...she would just let her boyfriend take control of her and make her do stuff she did not want to...but she was raped when she was young and when she fought her raper...he just hurt her more. so she got afraid of standing for herself because she thought she was going to get hurt again. but, she went to a psychiatrist and it took a month or so and she got over it and dumped her boyfriend that pushed her around.
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Jun 21 2004, 05:59 AM
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 i'm susan Group: Official Member Posts: 13,875 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,029 |
hmm yeah i had few of them... and i love them too. well try some activities that will make them stand up for themselves, so they can get more confidence...hmm this is a hard one...but nice topic...hm
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Jun 21 2004, 09:16 AM
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#6
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te quiero Group: Banned Posts: 2,586 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 14,678 |
i used to be like that. the reason i was like that was because i was afraid of losing my friends, my boyfriend, and everything that mattered. so i'd just agree with everything, sit there and nod. it wasn't until certain people started asking me my opinion, getting me more involved in things, when i started to open up.
take your friend out.. spend time with her. it might help. 
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| *bright eyes* |
Jul 20 2004, 08:43 PM
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#7
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wow. maybe you should just try to help her, tell her what you think too. i use to be like that and i used to think no one would like me for who i was and think i was a 'poser'. but i came out and i am so glad i did.
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Jul 20 2004, 08:49 PM
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 hi. call me linda. Group: Official Member Posts: 8,187 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,475 |
QUOTE(love[x) melissa,Jun 21 2004, 10:16 AM] i used to be like that. the reason i was like that was because i was afraid of losing my friends, my boyfriend, and everything that mattered. so i'd just agree with everything, sit there and nod. it wasn't until certain people started asking me my opinion, getting me more involved in things, when i started to open up. take your friend out.. spend time with her. it might help. yeah, i agree with you. i used to be like that too, letting everyone walk over me because i was afraid of what they might think of my. i'm still a little bit like that though. but, yeah, when people started getting me involved in more things, i started to open up more too. so, i also think that you should talk to her. |
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Jul 20 2004, 08:55 PM
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#9
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 hi, my name is brianna! =] Group: Official Member Posts: 5,764 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,114 |
I used to be like that...=X haha I think you should maybe like talk to her about it. And tell her that she shouldn't let people step all over her. Tell her that she should speak up more because she would be more remembered-people don't really remember quiet people. psh..that's what my sister told me xD but I didn't really care that time haha. I used to be really shy and I know it sounds stupid but I would pray to God for me to like talk more...I wish I talked, but I used to really care what people thought of me and I thought that if I said something wrong, they would hate me, I knew that wasn't true but its just what I thought, so I stopped myself from talking whenver I had something to say. xD Sorry if that didn't really help...its a short biography of what helped me overcome err..quietness xD
i know no one's going to read this...  its too long..xP oh well it was fun to type =]
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Jul 20 2004, 09:02 PM
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#10
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 lil azn supermodel... =] Group: Member Posts: 461 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,841 |
im lyk that...i have lyk no self confidence...i think im fat, ppl always dont lyk me cuz sum stupid guy i dont noe always has ta lyk me, n ppl talk sh*t bout me...i think im ugly...wen i was younger, i grew up around lots of racists...i was always picked on n shoved around...ppl jus always stepped on me...tha lists goes on from there
 its really bad cuz lyk now, i step on whoeva weneva i get tha chance...im such a b*tch... |
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Jul 20 2004, 09:23 PM
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#11
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 dizzy me up. Group: Member Posts: 3,191 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 11,139 |
yeah i have a friend like dat.. sometimes i wish she would just stand up for wut she dinks is rite. i like to speak my mind , dunt really care wut other ppl think .
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Jul 20 2004, 09:38 PM
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#12
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 DefJam Gangsta Inc Group: Member Posts: 914 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 25,652 |
Greetings!!
i have a few frens who fits ya description. and they are mostly girls!! (no offence aight?!) anyway, it's just da way there are. sometimes, they need somethin they can associate wit. they just need their time and space for everything i guess. being a fren, just be there for dem. it helps too!! CHEERS CB!! |
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Jul 20 2004, 11:11 PM
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#13
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 he`z gOt my heart*<3`o2.18.o1` Group: Member Posts: 1,662 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 6,338 |
independence is a very important quality to have .. the more independent you are the more chance of success .. you can't rely on others to get you places .. you have to be able to do things yourself .. independence goes hand in hand with being ambitious & motivated .. so you can't lack independence or it holds you back from a lot of things ..
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Jul 20 2004, 11:19 PM
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#14
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Yeah. Some of my friends lack independence, and I really wish they'd start acting like themselves, and not just someone who thinks like everyone else.
I lacked independence at the beginning of this previous year, but as the year went on.. I became more independent. It's just something that if you want to work on, you have to set your mind to it to succeed. |
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| *NatiMarie* |
Jul 20 2004, 11:50 PM
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#15
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Dang, that pisses me off as hell. I used to be that way. People stepped on me all the time. I didn't speak out and I oftentimes, let people bully me around. I was so stupid and now I don't let people step on me at all. I now say what's on my mind and don't let people tell me crap. I didn't think people noticed the change but someone left on my yearbook a little note that made me glad. They said,(not exact words because I'm too lazy to go find my yearbook, but it was something like this): "Natalie, I like your personality and the way you don't take crap from anyone."
=P Yay! Well, I try. I mean, if you're going to let people step on you, you're not going to be going anywhere. People are going to continue to disrespect you and such. I hope your friend finds a way to change the way she lets people treat her. =) |
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Jul 20 2004, 11:51 PM
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#16
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,412 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,012 |
*sigh*
im like that. =/ i dont like speaking up for myself... i dont know why. |
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Jul 21 2004, 03:02 AM
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#17
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 63 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,906 |
yeahhh... i used to have a friend like that too...
you have to let her know... and tell/teach her to stand up for herself... juss talk to her about it... try your best n try to get her to understand 
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Jul 21 2004, 11:01 AM
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#18
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 I can't believe its not "Ryan" Group: Member Posts: 1,981 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,368 |
That sounds so much like my brother...
As much as I tell him that the girl is playing him he still insists on being with the girl...but like you said its none of my business and what he does with his relationships is really up to him |
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Jul 21 2004, 02:12 PM
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#19
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,051 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 15,264 |
Yeah. I hate it when people let others use them as a doormat. Some of my friends speak up, but let people take advantage of them, and push them around. It gets me so pissed off...
 I dunno. Tape her getting pushed around by people, and her boyfriend talking bad to her. Use it as an intervention. Maybe she'll change her ways... 
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Jul 21 2004, 08:25 PM
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#20
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 doot doot doot Group: Member Posts: 1,803 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,954 |
i would definitely stand up tho.. i kno its not my business but i tend to get myself involved cuz ill feel bad for those ppl who gets stepped on and i feel that if i dont do something about it, everythin will get worst
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Jul 21 2004, 09:09 PM
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#21
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 dripping destruction Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 7,282 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,929 |
take away thier stuff, using all sorts of excusses, being mean.
then give it all back, and tell them that if they don't stop you next time, you'll keep it. |
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