I have trouble socializing Options

[dododiva]

I'm bad at conversations.

I'm usually quiet and envious of those who have a lot confidence and can easily talk to everyone. Well, i am always cautious of what i say, i never want to say the wrong things-yet, i think i still do.

Also, I'm really really afraid of being alone with a person. I end up panicking, trying to figure out what to say or do. This is a problem because in the future, how will i talk to my (future)boyfriend? How will i make new friends?

Usually, i make friends through connections of i have other people become friends with me. I'm very very shy. And when people say "be yourself" I'm just like, "How?" because I don't know the real me.''

Sounds really lame, but hey, it's my problem.

[queen]

a lot of people are like you, and actually, i'd much prefer to be in the company of one like yourself than someone who talks too much. don't worry about it. when you meet the right people, you'll know what to say and when to say it. chemistry just happens.

[sreymao]

^ agreed.
i have to admit, i guess i'm like that also, but when you meet the right people, you just end up talking and talking and talking. haha. it took me a while to find people i can actually talk to normally. lol
or you could just start talking about anything, school, movies, music. there's many things to talk about! :]

[*karmakiller*]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm really awkward in social situations, but it's something that I've been working on. The first thing I can say to you is stop thinking about saying the wrong things. Usually you'll end up thinking "Oh, I shouldn't say this. I shouldn't say that." and you end up saying it, because it's the material in your head. I was always raised to be one of those don't speak unless spoken to people and my anxiety gets to me a lot in social situations, but I've been learning to not care as much about what other people think about me... so I say something stupid? They probably won't even remember it.

In my opinion, it's not something that anyone can give you "advice" about how to change it. You have to grow into your own and who you are. You have to learn to put yourself out there, and if someone doesn't accept it to move on. Learn to love who you are and other people will see that and think you're confident too.

[TaintedSakura]

Talk to people like you, The words just come... lol
There are many many shy, quiet people (my self being one)
I`m sure you will find a guy that is like you.

[*jeanna*]

im on pills for that.

haha.

you know who you are. so don't think that. you just don't know what you want to be perceived as...

it's all about mental outlook and it's time to be more optimistic.
it's hard, i know.

[moorepocket]

i have that problem. When i meet new people, i have to act all "together" and not like i act with the people i come in contact everyday.

LIke, I want people to meet the "nice, well-taught, sophisticate person" me, and not like "careless" me.

I don't know if that makes any sense.

[shiftieeyedpnoi]

The more you think about it, the harder it'll get. My advice: just let yourself go. Even if it's just for a moment. The more comfortable you seem talking to them, the more comfortable they will be talking to you too.

[S-Majere]

I had this problem too when I was a bit younger. I suffered from a stutter too so any social engagements were really embarrassing!

You what know the best thing that helped was? Getting a job. I started as a Christmas temp at a well-known retail store and since then have gone on to become a duty manager - still working part time!

The fantastic thing about working in a shop is that you're forced into conversation with hundreds of different kinds of people every week. You'll get mardy ones, kind ones, indifferent ones, funny ones - and it all helps to build up your confidence when speaking to someone new.

I don't have much of a problem now. I still feel a little awkward on occasion; but my stutter disappeared not six months after starting work and only reappears now when I'm really excited or stressed over something!

Just one idea for you. :D

[yupimchuck]

i used to be so scared to talk to people.

and honestly.
i got sick of it

like it got to a point where if osmeone talked to me.. i cried.


now,
im really self conscious - but youd never know it.. i walk with confidence, i can talk to anyoen and everyone..

i really jus dont give a shit.

[Sandraaa]

Aww ... you're not alone in this world.

I'm not like you so I won't pretend to understand why you're like this. Personally, I'd rather be with someone who doesn't talk much rather than someone who talks crap all the time.
I just think you shouldn't think too much of what others will think of you. Just let go of everything that is holding you back from socializing. It won't be easy or fast though.

[S-Majere]

Can I just make mention of the complete motor-mouth I was forced into sitting next to on the train this evening. I said about three words (those being 'Excuse me' and 'Thanks') while Miss Verbal Diarrhoea talked my ears off for an hour and a half. I shit you not; I could have killed the woman. There's only so much inane babble about tinned soup one can take.

Having a certain restraint about talking to strangers is the single most attractive personality feature for me right now!