I'm in need of some advice.. Options

[RAWRstephishere]

My parents are constantly fighting, and my dad wants to get a divorce. My mom doesnt want to because she doesnt think my brother and I could handle my dad alone, assuming we would spend half of our time with him.

I think they should get divorced. But Im seriously afraid my dad will seriously hurt me. He get really angry and Im scared for my life. I hate being around him all the time. But I dont know if I can handle him without my mom there.

[lljay06]

Well..from what I know you don't have to spend anytime with your dad if you dont want to. And when there is a custody case you can tell the court that you dont want to be with him by yourself. If your brother agrees it would help.

[mytangerine]

just stay with your mom then? if you're worrying about him possibly being abusive, emotionally or physically, just tell your mom you'd much rather not see him. honestly, if you feel he is a danger to you or your bro, don't spend time with him.

[RAWRstephishere]

If they get divorced they will probably get shared custody.

And I dont think anyone will believe me.

[lljay06]

Why don't you think they would believe you. And if you continue to think that way they won't, and it will continue. Trust me i understand more than I sound that I do but I do, and I beleive if you have an opportunity to say someting do it.

[RAWRstephishere]

Because my mom doesnt think its a big deal. My brother acts like my family is normal. And most of the time I think Im insane because I think my family is screwed up.

[lljay06]

Hmm...I dont know honestly...I say refuse to go visit..

[katelynlingenfel...]

How old are you? I think that it's either 15 or 16 that you get a voice in where you live and who you see. If you dont want to see him speak up and they will listen to you. When my parents got divorced i was only one but i had to go see my dad and as soon as i was old enough i said no and i dont go anymore.

[Kontroll]

Hey, all I'm saying is....Two Christmas's.

I guess when you're at your dad's house, he'll give you a nice chipped tooth.

And at your mom's you'll get two new front teeth... HAHA.

[RAWRstephishere]

How old are you? I think that it's either 15 or 16 that you get a voice in where you live and who you see. If you dont want to see him speak up and they will listen to you. When my parents got divorced i was only one but i had to go see my dad and as soon as i was old enough i said no and i dont go anymore.

Ill be 15 in October, but I think the age is like 13

[S-Majere]

Tricky situation. You'll have next to no say regarding whether or not your folks split up, and from the sounds of it that probably would be a good thing. There'll be a lot of underlying problems already with your parents (why are your parents constantly fighting? Did they used to, anything cause it?) which they'll need to settle themselves.

Various laws and social services do protect you from abuse, or can intervene if abuse occurs; but do you really have any grounds to believe that it will?

You may find that your dad actually becomes calmer, as he'll be taking 'time out' from you all. The real question is why your dad is so angry and whether a divorce would actually benefit you all.