friends comes first huh? Options

[starmoonshore]

me and this one guy are in a situation where we're considered as "secret" lovers. even though we're NOT OFFICIALLY together, i worry about him all the time or even spend some time at least talking to him on the phone. however, whenever i call him, he always has a list of excuses:

1. i'll call you later i'm at a friend's house...
2. sorry my friend's over, can i talk to you later?
3. im in a youth group meeting. call you back.
4. im going to lunch with a friend. ttyl.
5. im out with my friends. so i'll talk to you later...

i mean, hello! his attention is always with his friends... he never spend time with me anymore. and by the time that he can talk to me... he always gonna say...

1. im sleepy now i'll just talk to you tomorrow.
2. im tired. i'll let you go now. i'll call you tomorrow.

of course, im stupid enough to wait for his call and he NEVER CALLED BACK THAT DAY OR THE NEXT DAY.

and now im thinking, do you think he's just really busy and i don't understand his situation? or he has no time for me because he never really love me at all? help me understand this situation. onegaishimasu... :)

[*Insurmountable*]

As much as I don't want to say this, I really think he doesn't like you...and by the sounds of it and excuses he could be trying to avoid you..I mean theres a very very slim chance that he could be that busy but its not likely because if he really liked you he would take the time away from his busy schedule to talk to you, you know?

I know its hard hearing something like that if you really like someone but maybe you shouldn't call him or talk to him for a few days or something to give him time away and see if he contacts you..if not I guess I would probably give up or just confront him about it and ask if he really wants to talk to me because if not then I would want to quite wasting my time and emotions over something like this.

Hope you figure it all out

[RAWRstephishere]

Ask him when he isnt busy, so you wont call when hes out doing something.

Or he could be making up excuses.

[starmoonshore]

As much as I don't want to say this, I really think he doesn't like you...and by the sounds of it and excuses he could be trying to avoid you..I mean theres a very very slim chance that he could be that busy but its not likely because if he really liked you he would take the time away from his busy schedule to talk to you, you know?

I know its hard hearing something like that if you really like someone but maybe you shouldn't call him or talk to him for a few days or something to give him time away and see if he contacts you..if not I guess I would probably give up or just confront him about it and ask if he really wants to talk to me because if not then I would want to quite wasting my time and emotions over something like this.

Hope you figure it all out

i guess you're right. right now, i called him and he's not really talking on the phone. i asked him why isn't he talking and he told me that he just woke up and feel groggy. but he already did some kitchen work? and im assuming that he doesnt really want to talk to me. then also, as usual he asked me if i can talk to him later coz he gotta do some errands. of course, i heard that phrase... "I'LL JUST TALK TO YOU LATER BECAUSE...."

i thank you for what you think about this situation. i guess... i just got to let go of him... :(

[mytangerine]

you're probably being too clingy by calling him so much, he might just be annoyed. give him space. he might come around. don't just jump to the conclusion that he doesn't like you though, that's not a good way to look at things, cuz i mean, you were basically dating, right? he has to like you at least a little bit.

edit;;
ok & i guess i'll throw in the worst case scenario since noone else has: he might be seeing someone else.

[S-Majere]

Again, I agree with the advice being given here.

Best thing to do? Phase him out and totally ignore him. Either he'll start wondering what he did wrong and crawl back to you (that is, if he likes you) or you'll both just drift apart.

Either way, are you that bothered? And secret lovers? Are either of you that embarrassed of the other?

[seonho]

Alright, listen you f uck-tard. How many more f ucking excuses do you want? Are you that f ucking stupid to realize he has lost his interest for you? So stop with the shitty ass whining and f ucking move on, bitch. He has 99 problems and you ain't one.

[EmoEyelinerx]

As much as I don't want to say this, I really think he doesn't like you...and by the sounds of it and excuses he could be trying to avoid you..I mean theres a very very slim chance that he could be that busy but its not likely because if he really liked you he would take the time away from his busy schedule to talk to you, you know?

I know its hard hearing something like that if you really like someone but maybe you shouldn't call him or talk to him for a few days or something to give him time away and see if he contacts you..if not I guess I would probably give up or just confront him about it and ask if he really wants to talk to me because if not then I would want to quite wasting my time and emotions over something like this.

Hope you figure it all out

Well said. I agree 100%.

[xirisx]

Alright, listen you f uck-tard. How many more f ucking excuses do you want? Are you that f ucking stupid to realize he has lost his interest for you? So stop with the shitty ass whining and f ucking move on, bitch. He has 99 problems and you ain't one.

CHILL!dude whi you so mean!! your messed up

[*Insurmountable*]

^I wouldn't say he's messed up or mean...more or less bluntly honest.

[*Uronacid*]

As much as I don't want to say this, I really think he doesn't like you...and by the sounds of it and excuses he could be trying to avoid you..I mean theres a very very slim chance that he could be that busy but its not likely because if he really liked you he would take the time away from his busy schedule to talk to you, you know?

I know its hard hearing something like that if you really like someone but maybe you shouldn't call him or talk to him for a few days or something to give him time away and see if he contacts you..if not I guess I would probably give up or just confront him about it and ask if he really wants to talk to me because if not then I would want to quite wasting my time and emotions over something like this.

Hope you figure it all out

I agree, but to add...

If you do take her advice (which I think you should), don't sit by the phone expecting him to call you back. Instead, do this with the expectation that he will never call you back. It really sounds like he just doesn't want to talk to you. Relationships are two sided. It doesn't matter how much you like him, if he doesn't like you the same then it's just a lost cause.

[*Sandraaa*]

I'll just continue the repeatition. Truthfully, he doesn't like you and he's possibly dating someone else.
I am very sure he's avoiding you and if you continue in this path, he might start rejecting your calls (nothing could be more worse). Just let him go, let your feelings go. Stop calling him. Let him contact you in his own time.

You'll find someone else.

[Kontroll]

If he wants to keep you guys categorized as 'secret lovers', then he's ashamed to be seen with you.

Funny stuff.

[iSsUeS636]

you sound EXACTLY LIKE a friend of mine.
she's in/or was in, idk what happened with her, the same exact situation.
ever think he could be gay?
maybe he just lost interest in women and thats why he spends so much time with the guys.
but he's embarrassed to come out so he doesn't wanna tell you the reason.