cheating..., when does it become cheating?? Options

[faydedprimadonna]

so my baby daddy and i got in a discussion about cheating... apparently it's ok in his eyes if leaving isn't something that you can do (due to children, financial reliance, you're dating a psycho, fear of violence, etc...) i want to know how other people see it... when is it cheating? is it ever ok? share it bitches!

[jue]

I don't think it's ever okay to cheat. There shouldn't be a need to cheat if you're in a relationship. You might as well just break up with the person rather than cheating on them. As for the first question, I think it's considered cheating if there's any real intimate contact. Kissing, sex, all that sort.

[kimmytree]

I think its cheating when someone has the intention to. Cheating's something I'll never tolerate.

[faydedprimadonna]

hmm... i'm interested that everyone seems to have a different opinion on when cheating actually begins... no one wants to be cheated on and cheaters are pretty much the scum of the earth i agree... but what if you're stuck in a situation you can't get out of, but aren't into? what do you do then?

[pinayprincess]

kissing and antyhing more is CHEATING... flirting.. ehh i guess not but sometimes WOULD be considered as a crime... either than kissing and oral and feeling up and intercourse.. its not cheating

[S-Majere]

Fantasizing is normal for anyone; intent to cheat whilst you're in a relationship isn't.

[*Podomaht*]

when you give the guy anal that's when it starts to get questionable.

[*Uronacid*]

I'm bored, so I'll be serious this time. Cheating is never right. You can cheat in different ways. It also comes from two different perspectives.

You can cheat from your own perspective by giving yourself spiritually or physically to someone.

Spiritually meaning, you're cheating by giving your heart to someone other than your significant other. Like when you're in a relationship with someone, and you like someone else. It's unfair to the person you're in the relationship with. You're cheating them out of your love, because you have feelings for someone else. Imagine how hurt the other person would feel if they found out. Chances are, they won't but technically you're cheating.

Physically meaning, when you give someone other than the individual who you are in a relationship with a touch that means more than friendship (Yes, any touch that says, "I like you more than a friend."). This is entirely relative to the individual doing the physical action. In tough times I could put my hand on your shoulder and comfort you as a friend, or I could put my hand on your shoulder and comfort you as more than that. It's the intent in this situation that matters. Are you touching because they are you're friend, or are you being physical as someone who is more than a friend?

Cheating is obviously less forgivable and more upsetting the more physical or severe it gets. I'm not saying that you have to worry about what you're doing all the time. I'm simply saying you should respect your partner and give them that special attention while keeping friends as friends and nothing more.

You're partners perspective of cheating matters too. Many people have a different perspectives on cheating. What I am writing is my perspective. It is merely my take on cheating. It matters because a relationship is about mutual respect. The best thing you can do is come to a mutual agreement with your partner about what cheating is. Talk about it.

[jammylise]

Cheating is never ok.
If your bf/husband is cheating, i mean it's not okay to cheat too, to get back at him.

That's just immature, if you cheat on someone, to get back at them. Then what's the point of being together? just break up

If your bf cheats on you, break up with him.
Talk with him first, if he keeps doing it break up with him.
Cheating is never ok.

[aubbob]

cheating only hurts the person you're cheating on, and eventually will bite you in the butt.
i think kissing would be cheating, intent is.. ehh... intending on something, but it's not DOING it. right? hopefully the persons intent changes after a while and they don't end up cheating..

[jammylise]

if your thinking of doing something, or almost.

youre most likely gonna do it, unless you have self-control, but SOMETIMES, shit does happen.

doesnt make it right though.

[*Insurmountable*]

I'm bored, so I'll be serious this time. Cheating is never right. You can cheat in different ways. It also comes from two different perspectives.

You can cheat from your own perspective by giving yourself spiritually or physically to someone.

Spiritually meaning, you're cheating by giving your heart to someone other than your significant other. Like when you're in a relationship with someone, and you like someone else. It's unfair to the person you're in the relationship with. You're cheating them out of your love, because you have feelings for someone else. Imagine how hurt the other person would feel if they found out. Chances are, they won't but technically you're cheating.

Physically meaning, when you give someone other than the individual who you are in a relationship with a touch that means more than friendship (Yes, any touch that says, "I like you more than a friend."). This is entirely relative to the individual doing the physical action. In tough times I could put my hand on your shoulder and comfort you as a friend, or I could put my hand on your shoulder and comfort you as more than that. It's the intent in this situation that matters. Are you touching because they are you're friend, or are you being physical as someone who is more than a friend?

Cheating is obviously less forgivable and more upsetting the more physical or severe it gets. I'm not saying that you have to worry about what you're doing all the time. I'm simply saying you should respect your partner and give them that special attention while keeping friends as friends and nothing more.

You're partners perspective of cheating matters too. Many people have a different perspectives on cheating. What I am writing is my perspective. It is merely my take on cheating. It matters because a relationship is about mutual respect. The best thing you can do is come to a mutual agreement with your partner about what cheating is. Talk about it.

I agree with this completely.

[faydedprimadonna]

i'm really glad that everyone came up with mostly the same answers... it certainly clarifies the confusion with the conversation i had with my s.o.... i love hearing about people's views on important personal issues, i've found that everyone has such different values and i love to see things from another's perspective... i particularly loved "uronacid's" view of spiritually cheating... i never really thought about it from that side... it certainly makes me think more about what kind of relationship i'm in and what kind of realtionship i want to be in... thanks guys!!!

[MissFits]

Cheating is NEVER EVER okay.

I think cheating is even having feeling for someone else.
Ex:
If you are still devoted heart and soul to your ex, don't get with someone else. It's not fair to anyone in the situation.

Fantasies are okay, but if you act on what goes on in your head (be sure it's your head and not your heart) than it's unforgivable.

If you start feeling the urge, break up with your partner. I don't care what anyone says, you never get so drunk or high that you forget about a significant other.
IMPOSSIBLE.

[RAWRstephishere]

Cheating is NEVER EVER okay.

Took the words right out of my fingers.

[*Moderator*]

I don't think cheating is okay. There shouldn't be a need to cheat if you're in a relationship. And if there is a need to cheat then why are you still with that person?

I think cheating is doing anything that you wouldn't do with someone who was just your friend. Anything more than friendly or gives off the "more than friend" vibe is considered cheating.

[transcendentalis...]

why would cheating EVER be okay? is there even some crazy situation anyone can think up here?

cheating is mental or physical to me. i'm not concerned about guys imagining doing other girls, because for the most part, that's what a lot of guys do... and some just don't have the self-control not to. but if a taken guy is flirting intentionally with another girl, then that's cheating to me.

[shalalasusan]

I never see cheating as something a forgive and forget situation. I feel like if you have an intent to cheat, then you're deciding amongst yourself whether or not you want to hurt your significant other.

[towntown2]

Cheating to me is any physical contact that is backed by romantic feelings that is not between a boyfriend and a girlfriend.
It is something that I will never, ever tolerate for myself and everybody else.

[EmoEyelinerx]

Its never ok to cheat. To me cheating is any physical contact (romanticly of course) and any romantic feelings toward someone else.

[*Sandraaa*]

To me, cheating doesn't have to be solely physical. It could be emotional too. Falling in love with someone else while in a relationship is cheating and to me, that's worse than intercourse. Don't confuse that with having a crush. That's different.
In a serious relationship, you commit to ONE person. Sexually and otherwise.