Too Nice Options

[*ersatz*]

Sometimes I feel as if I'm just too nice. Like, I try to be nice and friendly and pleasant and all that jazz as much as possible and people take advantage of it and are just mean to me all the time.

Is there such a thing as being too nice? Should a person just have a healthy balance of nice/mean, or is it true that those who are mean more than they are nice get ahead? Honestly, do you respect people who have the guts to say all that they feel even if it's awful to the person, or do you respect the people that always keep their cool and are always always nice, no matter what?

[*Spencer*]

honestly, i really like your personality now. not gonna lie, but when you were on staff and somewhat thereafter, i thought you were stuck up. maybe it was that you were opinionated, but that's just the vibe i got.

btw, i don't know if that interview time will work tomorrow. pm it to me sometime tomorrow?

[Comptine]

I get what you mean. I consider myself a very righteous person. I should be nice to people out of respect and consideration; other people should do the same.

Apparently, I am the only one I know whose like this. I known people who are absolutely assholes who find amusement in insulting people for no reason. I also knew girls who were absolute bitches and backstabbers. Yet amazingly, these people always get people to like them and have plenty of friends.

No, I don't think it's okay or you should respect anybody who can't find it in their system to be nice. Even if you're honest and you tell it like it is, you're still a jerk/a-hole. My boyfriend completely vouches for his friend who insults me for no reason and finds reason to let people I don't know how to insult me. My bf tells me that to deal with him, I should insult him back and keep up witty banter. WTF? I don't want witty/insulting banter. I want a normal, decent conversation with him. And apparently, he's a good friend who would do anything for you. STFU. If he can't be a good friend all the time, then he isn't a good friend at all.

Being an a-hole can get you far nowadays.

[$$$ soul]

Nice guys finish last.

[dustbunny]

i used to be the pushover type, ESPECIALLY when it came to food. people pretty much just depended on me for their food cause my mom made great lunches and i never had the heart to say no. then, i transferred schools and changed, not that i'm a bitch now or anything, i just stick up for myself now. instead of letting people trample over me, i tell them i'm freaking hungry.

being nice is a great great great thing, just make sure to draw a line!

[*stephinika*]

I think there is definitely a thing as 'too nice'. Being nice is good, but some people just don't know how to say no to people or stand up for themselves, and thats when I think its being 'too nice'.

[Crash2]

There is such a thing. The whole "getting used" thing proves that. You've gotta maintain some kind of edge to help prevent that.

A good balance of being nice and friendly and knowing when to say no would probably be best.

I don't know though. Those assertive types usually know when to seize the opportunity to get ahead. Survival of the fittest? Maybe.

[michellerrific]

I think there's such thing as 'being too nice'. It's to the point where you're practically letting people step all over you.

I agree with you, there are times where I feel as if I'm doing too many favors for too many people. But it's not good to be too mean either. Sometimes it's hard to fit into the right balance, but that's just the way people are, and you just have to deal with it.

[arghrawr]

I feel for you homie, I'm the exact same way.
I think people are confusing "too nice" with spineless-ness. o.0
HA funny word.
But yeah, I do tend to respect people who speak their minds even if they are bitchy/psycho. At the same time I respect people who keep their cool at all times.

[heyyfrankie]

Is there such a thing as being too nice?
YES! because after a while, it either turns into or seems to be fake.

Should a person just have a healthy balance of nice/mean, or is it true that those who are mean more than they are nice get ahead?
yes; no. Mean people don't necessarily get ahead of nice people...i think that people that have a 'healthy balance' get the farthest.

Honestly, do you respect people who have the guts to say all that they feel even if it's awful to the person, or do you respect the people that always keep their cool and are always always nice, no matter what?
HAPPY MEDIUM. people need to tell the cold, hard truth...but cold & hard don't constitute bitchy & rude. There's ALWAYS a nice way to put things.

[*Elba*]

Contrary to how I act offline ONLINE, I am the nicest person offline. I can be bitchy, but that's only around my immediate family and my boyfriend.

I prefer nice people over rude people. My old boss was a bitch to people, including me. Not necessary. Don't be a fake nice either. Being genuinely nice is good.

This post has been edited by Elba: Jul 31 2007, 12:24 AM

[*Programmer*]

^---this is true she was really nice offline. as much as i hate to admit it.

I've Been Told I'm Different Off Line.

[*Spencer*]

i, too, am really nice offline. i joke around a lot and make a lot of people laugh.

[no-name]

I am usually a really nice person offline. Online it usually ranges from being a little too nice to being a bitch.

[*ersatz*]

For those of you who said you were different (nicer) offline, what enables you to be different online? Are there harsher consequences for being mean offline? Or is it just that you don't know these people, so you don't feel bad about it?

[*Elba*]

Actually, it's because I feel so comfortable here that I act bitchy and I am outspoken. Like I said, I'm only bitchy around my family and boyfriend, and that's because I am comfortable around them.

Out in public with people I hardly know or don't know at all, I'm nice.

[*kryogenix*]

I know what you mean. I think people might be getting the wrong idea and that I want to be friends with them. I should act more mean.

[*Sandraaa*]

^ NO NO NO! Don't act more mean ... *phew*

How can someone be too nice to the extent that you get walked on? By the way Sammi, I never considered you to be too nice. Stick in the ass? Yes. I'm very fond of the current you.

[BOOGERSHAHA]

most of the 'nicer' people i know in real life lack personality. they're boring.

[EmoEyelinerx]

Yes I think theirs a such thing as being "too nice". Its to the point where you let people walk all over you.

I respect both b*tchy and nice people. I respect the people who b*tch because they arnt afraid to speak their mind. I also, respect nice people because they dont want to hurt anyones feelings.

I think its better to be a nice person, who happens to speak his/her mind as long as its not to the entent that they act like a b*tch.

[*karmakiller*]

I don't like people who fake being overly nice. It's just cheesey. People tend to perceive me as a nice person, but I just don't like confrontation and I've only been angry a handful times. I usually just get frustrated.

I tend to be nicer to people that I don't know. I know that sounds lame, but, if I know you I tend to be more comfortable with myself around you so I'll tell you what's on my mind. I'll be honest with pretty much anyone, so if someone asks me something expecting me to compliment them or something they won't get it.

[1angel3]

I know how you feel, I try to be nice and honest as much as I can and forgive.

[queen]

why are people comparing being mean with being honest? there's a way to be honest and still be nice.

and to those who are nice to strangers yet "bitchy" to people they're comfortable with, does that mean your "bitchy" self is your true self?

i don't think i'm neither "nice" nor "mean". i'm pretty indifferent. i can be blunt without being rude, and be courteous without being fake.

[DarkImpressions]

Yea Im a nice person to a certain extent,You have to know when to get mean or people will just run your ass over and wont think anything else about it!

[emazing]

I think that you should be nice to everyone at first, but if they turn out mean, then don't let them take advantage of you! Just be mean to them right back