absence makes the heart grow fonder Options

[fathomlessdame]

my mom tells me this all the time...what do you guys think? is it true?

[KayleighKins]

I know that for me it's true. It makes me feel safer to learn more about them from a distance, so that I can love them when they're close.

[*Flair*]

... or not. You might fall out of love because of absence.

[towntown2]

Hmm...I don't really believe that.
Absence makes me forget. So if I start to forget who the person is, and what they look like, I start to fall out of love.

Unless in this absence I keep in touch with the person, then the reunion will be sweet.

[XRosesXAreXBlack...]

Actually, I kind of agree with it.Because, like, personally if I really like someone and haven't seen them in a while, I start to miss them.So, like, when I see them again, I'm really happy.

[KayleighKins]

... or not. You might fall out of love because of absence.

I never did. :)

[*MyMichelle*]

Nope.

[RememberTheForgo...]

It can go either way. If you put the effort in to stay in touch, keep talking and getting to know the other person then you get closer and closer.
If you don't keep in touch, or don't bother to continue the getting to know eachother process, then you don't grow any closer.

[jeSs1cA]

I don't believe this. I know that when I'm away from my boyfriend for longer period of times without seeing him, we tend to fight more. I don't know, maybe that's just us. I could never do any long distance type dating due to the fact that I need the person I'm dating to be with me physically too.


Although, when I don't see my boyfriend for awhile, I tend to get moody, BUT, it makes the next time I see him just that much more special.

[HeroesAndVillian...]

Well I tend to try to talk to them but then they'll get "busy" and i won't get a hold of them as often and so I'll get all suspicious. I like cuddling so I can't do the long distance relationships.

[JustAnotherTeena...]

Funny, I was just thinking about that quote...

I believe that in certain situations absense definitely makes the heart grow fonder. But [in my case at least] as the heart grows fonder it is also being ripped to shreds as you would much rather be able to erase all feelings for that absent person from said heart. Also, while your heart grows fonder for that person which it should NOT be growing fonder for, it grows to distrust and question feelings for another person who is questionably absent, and who is the one you really SHOULD be growing fonder of.

For me, the first person mentioned is my ex, the second person being my curent boyfriend.

Ok, enough ranting of my feelings.

[transcendentalis...]

distance makes the heart grow weary.

[fathomlessdame]

yeah, i supose it kinda makes sense to me, but then again..being away from him so long hurts way too much

[MrStrife]

How can you possibly miss someone if you're always with them?

[lostinLDN]

I think it's true. It was true for me last summer.

[pinacoolada]

It depends for me. If I like someone, and the feeling isn't mutual, their absence is the BEST thing ever, cause then I forget them. However, if it's like now, where I have a boyfriend who isn't and hasn't been present for a week due to camp, absence definitely just makes my feelings stronger.

[fall3n_s0ul]

... or not. You might fall out of love because of absence.

I agree.

[KayleighKins]

I agree.

How in love could you be in the first place if them not being near you all the time makes you fall out of love?

That sounds a lot like giving up.

[tr1pp1n]

my ideal woman would f**kin make me fall in love with her rite then f**kin
disappear for 1 year without telling me a thing!
then come bak to me

[Becks539]

I agree with it because when someone I love is away, they're all I can think about. I miss them and get anxious for when I'll see them again. If you love someone enough, absence will definitely not make you forget them...only love them more.

[EmoEyelinerx]

I dont really believe it becasue absence makes me forget. So when I start to forget what he looks like, talks like, his personality, and why I liked him I will start to fall out of love.

[Beunique]

i dont think so. if the person is absent, or i am then i move on ..

[*Elba*]

Yes, it does! It's torture while they're absent, though.

[xsweetxsugarx]

absence makes me go crazy.

i'm too attached.

[*ersatz*]

Aaaabsolutely true. When they're away, you don't think about any tiny annoying things that they might do, you just think about everything that's good about them.

[Mini]

ACTUALLY. I have a proven answer to this.



Since I took psychology and all, uhm, hate to tell to you but absence DOES NOT make the heart grow fonder.

Being exposed to a person numerous times and seeing them alot actually makes you more attracted to him or her.

It's called the mere-exposure effect.

That's why most long distance relationships are hard to keep up. They're not impossible, but it's more difficult.


And unless you already have VERY strong feelings for a person and have memories or some sort of foundation, the whole absence makes the heart fonder is a total myth.

[tr1pp1n]

please refuse to trust minis judgement as he is homosexual.

[KayleighKins]

ACTUALLY. I have a proven answer to this.
Since I took psychology and all, uhm, hate to tell to you but absence DOES NOT make the heart grow fonder.

Lawl, whatever.

[Mini]

please refuse to trust minis judgement as he is homosexual.

Pshhhhh.

Lawl, whatever.

OMG. I'm so serious. Go read a reliable psychology book. Sheesh.

[S-Majere]

It's very true.

My boyfriend and I are soon to be going to separate universities; which means he is now working a lot of the time to get the cash he needs for basic living in.

When we're apart I still, after nearly a year of seeing each other almost constantly, find myself daydreaming about that time when I see him again. You tend to remember things more fondly, forget little transgressions and obsess to a certain extent about when you'll see each other again.

It's sort of like when you're planning to get something for ages; but when you've got the thing you covert most, you lose that excited feeling. I'm not saying people don't live up to expectations - just that when you're alone without something, that thing is what you want the most.

Edit// [mini]

Lawl! My friends are the same with that psychology rubbish. They think that because they have a grade in psycho-babble, they can shrink the rest of us. A perception of love changes with each individual, and the extent to which one will go for love is not based on some rigid theorem.

[Mini]

It's very true.

My boyfriend and I are soon to be going to separate universities; which means he is now working a lot of the time to get the cash he needs for basic living in.

When we're apart I still, after nearly a year of seeing each other almost constantly, find myself daydreaming about that time when I see him again. You tend to remember things more fondly, forget little transgressions and obsess to a certain extent about when you'll see each other again.

It's sort of like when you're planning to get something for ages; but when you've got the thing you covert most, you lose that excited feeling. I'm not saying people don't live up to expectations - just that when you're alone without something, that thing is what you want the most.

Well, I guess it could be true for girls. But us guys, we're kind of different.

MERE-EXPOSURE EFFECT! I'm telling you.

[S-Majere]

Lawl Mini, is that a generalisation for ALL guys?

I never thought I'd fall in love. To be truly honest, I figured it was just a trend thing for 13-year olds with low self-esteem.

But here I am, cartoony love-hearts blossoming in my eyes, ego the size of a planet, telling an entire subforum about it.

I don't believe in 'out of sight, out of mind' - after all you can't 'see' sex, but most guys crave it!

Psychologists (to raise up my side of the argument a little, into the realms of Indisputable Fact) found that the pain of a broken heart is just the same as a physical injury.

[*steve330*]

- after all you can't 'see' sex, but most guys crave it!

I am pretty sure my imagination can prove you wrong.

[S-Majere]

XD

But still, the argument still stands. Your uh...imagination....notwithstanding of course.

[me1issaaaa]

Absolutely - you never get to appreciate exactly what you have/had, until you lose it.


I recently told my ex that I didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore, since all he did was lie and lie through his teeth. I'd threatened before whenever he screwed up, but I never had the balls to stand up for myself. I guess he assumed this would be the same, but I haven't gone back to him or had anything to do with him, and I don't plan to. I guess now it's starting to sink in, like, "Oh damn, she meant it this time." Aaaaand, there will be no going back. I'm happier without him.

[Mini]

I am pretty sure my imagination can prove you wrong.

HAHA!


This explains why guys have wet dreams.

Lawl! My friends are the same with that psychology rubbish. They think that because they have a grade in psycho-babble, they can shrink the rest of us. A perception of love changes with each individual, and the extent to which one will go for love is not based on some rigid theorem.

Go psychology students! Haha, sorry, it has been implanted in my mind and I can't stop thinking about it.

And love doesn't exist. You just want to make offspring in the end.






(I'm being sarcastic. Well, not really.)

[S-Majere]

*shakes head*

So you've been wondering all this time then Mini?

[*steve330*]

XD

But still, the argument still stands. Your uh...imagination....notwithstanding of course.

I think most guys have similar imagining capabilities when it comes to sex.

[Mini]

I think most guys have similar imagining capabilities when it comes to sex.

I think we're digressing from the topic.

BUT

Imagining sex =


So trying to be a little more on the subject, uhm, I will stop exhausting the mere-exposure effect THEORY and agree with S-Majere on some of her points (since she has experience to back it up).

[S-Majere]

I just sprayed biscuit crumbs all over my keyboard from laughing at that sex-manic smilie.

Interesting that you mention experience, Mini - have you any in the realm of puppy dogs, pink lollipops and other piss-poor metaphors for love?

I'm reminded of Red Dwarf.

'What is the theory of relativity?'
'Well, it's a theory innit?'
'But what is it actually?'
'Well...it's a theory....'
'Yeah?'
'It's a theory that you only tell your relatives'

[Mini]

I just sprayed biscuit crumbs all over my keyboard from laughing at that sex-manic smilie.

Interesting that you mention experience, Mini - have you any in the realm of puppy dogs, pink lollipops and other piss-poor metaphors for love?

I'm reminded of Red Dwarf.

'What is the theory of relativity?'
'Well, it's a theory innit?'
'But what is it actually?'
'Well...it's a theory....'
'Yeah?'
'It's a theory that you only tell your relatives'

I apologize for making you do such a thing. I hope it's not too much trouble to clean your keyboard.

Uhm, to answer your question honestly, no, not really.

[S-Majere]

Not at all Mini, there's all sorts down my keyoard here. It's like an entire eco-system and I'd probably be tried for mass genocide if I cleaned it out.

That's a crying shame. :( Nevermind, it took me 18 years to wrestle mine to the ground and scream 'SUBMIT' before Cupid fired an arrow into my ass...

[chibichi15]

Hmmm, I find it true. When I've been away from someone for such a long time, it makes me elated to see them again. But that's just me.