My relationship problem, help me Options

[Trinie]

Ok, me and my bf have been together for 8 and a half years already. we've been together since we were both in 8th grade. our relationship is good, i guess. but now he graduated from school and he has a real job now. as for me im still in school and going to graduate next year.

now here is the problem. since he has a "REAL JOB" now. i barely see him. i do see him on the weekends and sometimes i dont because he also works on the weekends. my friend tells me its a good thing because when we do see each other we'll want each other more and really look forward to being with each other.

but it doesnt seem that way. like im always the one who wants to see him all the time. im always excited to see him and very happy. but sometimes im not sure if he isnt like happy to see me. also here is another problem, affection towards each other is so-so, sex is i dont even know, i swear it feels like we havent done it in forever, but i do make and effort but he always tells me he is tired and stuff.

then sometimes i think he could be cheating on me. :(
i dont know, it sounds like im not making sense. i love him and i know he wouldnt do anything like that to me. but it feels like our love and everything we have is fading away. but i dont know, maybe im not being understanding, maybe im being selfish....

does anyone have the same problem?? give me some suggestions please.

[*MyMichelle*]

Maybe your relationship is starting to mature now that both of you are in different situations. I mean, I realize that 8 years is a HELLA long time especially for dating since 8th grade (I congratulate you), but you both were in school together. Now that he has a full-time job, he's more out of your life and more independent (and you, too).
I think you should just talk to him about how both of you feel your relationship is heading.

[jeSs1cA]

i feel the same way as you do! with summer here, i barely see my boyfriend anymore. and it's hard for me, because i am the type of girl that loves to hang out and just be with him and cuddle, but it's so hard for me to do so when he's always busy doing stuff. and when he does have a free moment, he usually either sleeping or hanging out with his friend who hates me!

we've only been dating since november though, so it's not as long as 8 years.

but still, i sometimes feel like he doesn't even care about me.. and i'll text him sometimes saying "i love you" & he acts like he's annoyed that i'm even texting him with the way he responds.

[illriginal]

Ok, me and my bf have been together for 8 and a half years already. we've been together since we were both in 8th grade. our relationship is good, i guess. but now he graduated from school and he has a real job now. as for me im still in school and going to graduate next year.

now here is the problem. since he has a "REAL JOB" now. i barely see him. i do see him on the weekends and sometimes i dont because he also works on the weekends. my friend tells me its a good thing because when we do see each other we'll want each other more and really look forward to being with each other.

but it doesnt seem that way. like im always the one who wants to see him all the time. im always excited to see him and very happy. but sometimes im not sure if he isnt like happy to see me. also here is another problem, affection towards each other is so-so, sex is i dont even know, i swear it feels like we havent done it in forever, but i do make and effort but he always tells me he is tired and stuff.

then sometimes i think he could be cheating on me. :(
i dont know, it sounds like im not making sense. i love him and i know he wouldnt do anything like that to me. but it feels like our love and everything we have is fading away. but i dont know, maybe im not being understanding, maybe im being selfish....

does anyone have the same problem?? give me some suggestions please.

8 years?!?! You're uh... 24 at least, right?... I'm sorry I read 8 years and boyfriend and then looked at your pic and couldn't make any sense out of it.

[Trinie]

i feel that way too!
not that i dont want to give up on our relationship. but it honestly gets tiring when only one person makes the effort and the other doesn't. sometimes i feel neglected, but i know he doesnt mean too.

also now he is getting a new place of his own, so he's been busy with that. i've been helping him with that too. but i dont talk to him that much there cuz like u know, we're painting and cleaning, and then all our friends are there.but i honestly do love him, and i wish he would see how i feel. i guess i just need more affection and attention.

[KayleighKins]

8 years?!?! You're uh... 24 at least, right?... I'm sorry I read 8 years and boyfriend and then looked at your pic and couldn't make any sense out of it.

Yeah I'm not getting it either.

I'm thinking that if you dated that long then obviously you'd know that you need to talk about it like adults.

[*steve330*]

When you start working you have to pour in a ton of hours and make an amazing impression on your boss. Not til years down the road can you actually start working 40 hour weeks. It's something you'll have to get used to.

[Trinie]

8 years?!?! You're uh... 24 at least, right?... I'm sorry I read 8 years and boyfriend and then looked at your pic and couldn't make any sense out of it.

yeah im 24. in my avatar is me and my neice.

Yeah I'm not getting it either.

I'm thinking that if you dated that long then obviously you'd know that you need to talk about it like adults.

i already have tlaked to him about this. several times already. he does try sometimes, but then when he's really busy, i guess he just forgets about how i feel.

[*steve330*]

Maybe you should consider his situation instead of worrying about how sad you are. If you're happiness is solely dependent on his presence, then you sound a little too dependent on him. Sure it's great if you're happier when he's around, I'm that way with my girlfriend. Just find something else to do, the world isn't that boring...

[Trinie]

Maybe you should consider his situation instead of worrying about how sad you are. If you're happiness is solely dependent on his presence, then you sound a little too dependent on him. Sure it's great if you're happier when he's around, I'm that way with my girlfriend. Just find something else to do, the world isn't that boring...

i do consider his situation. i respect that he works a lot and doing everything for our future. i know i do depend on him a lot. but thats just how some girls are. but i do keep myself busy, i have tons of friends and a lot of things to do. there are just those times when i really do miss him and wishing he was there. he's already worked for this company for about 2 months already and they are already going to give him a raise and a promotion. so i am definitely happy for him. and he usually works 60-70 hours a week, thats why i dont see him that much. but hey thanks for the advice.

[hojax]

so...i'm assuming you've mentioned all this to him before? (if not then..obviously..say something about how you feel like you're giving 80% while he gives 20%...obviously a big problem)

this actually happened to my parents (this sounds weird saying this..but...) my dad graduated and my mom was still in school..and well...the only way they could figure out how to work it out was to get married and move in together..that way they'd still see each other even though they were both in completely different places during the day.

i'm not saying that marriage is always the solution..because definitely it can be a big mess if its not the right time...but maybe moving in together (if possible) is a way to stay more connected?

i have no idea where you are in life..but it seems like at this point (8 years! jeeze!) you should either commit yourselves to each other or move on? sigh...relationships..

[Trinie]

thanks for the advice sweety. :)
marriage and moving in is both in our minds. we really want to do this too. knowing me i'd probably want to get married right away. but i know now is probably not the right time , since im in school and i dont have a stable job. but we've talked about it and i do plan to move in a year or two.

also i know he does work alot. and lastnight he just told me again he is working for the both of us, to build our future. just hearing that made me really happy and the little things im worrying about isn't really such a big deal. but im just trynig to get used to him working 60 almost 70 hours a week. its hard but i guess thats life right?

[KayleighKins]

i know i do depend on him a lot. but thats just how some girls are.

A truer f**king statement has never been said.

I realize your lonely. Mebbeh take dancing lessons? :D

[Trinie]

hehehehheh i was actually thinking of that!! dancing lessons could be fun! :)

[deplorable]

^^ trinie ( i dont know if thats your real name or not, sorry), by the posts youve left here and in other topics you sound like a great, fun filled, enthusiastic person. i know it might be bold to say this, but i dont think you should have to worry. everything will be a-ok, you'll see.

id wish you good luck, but im positive you dont need it :D

hugs

[Trinie]

^ awww thanks sweety. :)
my name is actually Katrina, and friends just started calling me trina/ trinie cuz they think its cute lol.

thanks though, ur post made me smile. im sure everything will be ok too. :) *hugzzzzzzz*