Bestfriend Boyfriend Clashing, What do I do when they don't like each other? |
 Jun 22 2007, 10:03 PM
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#1
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Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 495,449  |
So I've been going with this guy for about a month or so now, and I just got back from an incredibly long trip. Before I left I told him to try to get to know my bestfriend, because he wants to be together for a long time, so I think its important that they know each other. Well they talked for about a week before not talking anymore. I got back home and she basically said that she wants me to be careful around him, which I totally understood, and that she isn't too fond of him, which again I understood. So I was talking to him today and she came up and he said she was a bitch...which REALLY bothered me. I told him not to call her that in front of me, he asked if he could tell her that himself, and again I said no. He feels wronged by her (She tested him quite a bit while I was gone...she's my bestfriend so naturally she wanted to make sure he's a good guy...)
Anywho now I'm upset and I don't know how to handle the situation. I told him he's gonna have to get used to her but he basically brushed it off. I like him, but I don't like him calling my bestfriend something that she's not. What do I do???? |
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Jun 22 2007, 10:09 PM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 816 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 531,188 |
Funny thing is, friends aren't supposed to "test" anyone. That sounds like something a middle schooler would do. In real relationships you accept the guy and treat him like a new friend, not war against him and see what he does. If he turns out to be a jerk, then he turns out to be a jerk. Its a "your" responsibility thing.
If your new boyfriend feels like your best friend was acting like a bitch, she probably was. She can either apologize or act like a child and refuse to talk it out. It probably doesn't help that he feels like your on her side either. He might feel cornered. All I know is I talk kind of harshly like your boyfriend when really what I mean is, "She bothers me and hurts my feelings" or something. |
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Jun 22 2007, 10:13 PM
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#3
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 495,449 |
Yeah, the problem is she apologized to him a whole bunch of times because she knew she was being unfair to him, and he won't forgive her.
I don't know if its pride or what, but the only person who's feeling cornered right now is me. And it bites. |
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Jun 22 2007, 10:14 PM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 816 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 531,188 |
Well it makes me wonder what really went on then. How far did she go that he absolutely won't forgive her? Or maybe he's just a super sensitive guy.
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| *karmakiller* |
Jun 22 2007, 10:15 PM
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#5
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You have to understand both sides. He shouldn't have called her a bitch, he knows that she's your friend and you value her. But he should also know that you value him just as much.
Try communicating with your friend, maybe there's a reason why she doesn't like him? To be completely honest, they don't have to like each other as long as they aren't invading your relationships. If it turns out that she's just being immature, you need to make them both feel valued by you (maybe she's just jealous). You're the one dating him, not her. |
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Jun 22 2007, 10:18 PM
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#6
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 just another girl Group: Member Posts: 490 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 393,136 |
hmm, i have a similar problem. my bf hates my best friend. it sucks! but it was through her that i met him, funny huh?
well he used to have a crush on her and then she led him on and then started going out with her current bf from what i understand, hes still pissed about it and about other stuff. i just tell them to keep me out of it...thats about the only way to do it i tried threatening him (this was before i really started to LOVE him) that i'd break up with him if he didnt start being nice to her...but that was really stupid of me. so dont do that! uh, i just try to ignore it tho. tell them that you dont want to hear it, from either side. otherwise your just gonna get stuck in the midde which equals BAD IDEA. i'm still kind of struggling with it but oh well. i love him so thats what counts. |
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Jun 22 2007, 10:59 PM
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#7
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 495,449 |
Well she told me up front when I got home, and when I talked to him about it he basically told me nothing, and so I only really have one account of the whole thing. But what she told me is totally believable for his behavior (He was planning out all this stuff before talking to me about it, she told him I wouldn't like that, and he got mad.) She's been pretty frank with him when it comes to me, because she knows me better than anybody. He's pretty pushy and he gets angry easily.
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Jun 22 2007, 11:03 PM
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#8
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 4 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 495,449 |
Yeah it really does suck.
Well, she doesn't like him because of the way he made me feel in the beginning. We hooked up, and he like...started planning out our lives together, which made me pretty uncomfortable, she didn't like that at all. And his temper, he gets mad very very easily, so that turned her off as well. Ultimately, she's worried about how he'll effect me. |
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Jun 23 2007, 11:30 AM
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#9
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 i'll fvck you til you luv me fagget Group: Official Member Posts: 2,152 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 428,884 |
Your best friend probably screwed him, and they're just saying that so you won't suspect their dirty doing.
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| *steve330* |
Jun 23 2007, 11:34 AM
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#10
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I don't see what the big deal is when someone calls someone else a bitch. Chances are it wasn't unwarranted. She probably was bitchy to him. If he doesn't forgive her, he's being childish but she had it coming to her with all the "testing" and whatnot. GG
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