Problems with long term relationship, -having a comunication breakdown. Options

[Trooper]

So here goes.

I have been dating my girlfriend for over 3 years. We started dating my freshman year of college and all through-out college we never had a single problem. Then last semester of my senior year she started acting weird half way. We talked a bunch of it through and she said that she wasn't sure about 'us' anymore. She's been completely stressed out due to her classes and having to leave all of her friends after we graduated. I gave her all of the space she needed, and things got better, mostly. She said that it was just the stress and that we were cool. During this summer we had to move twice. The fist place we moved to we only lived there a week before had to move to the next place. It was really nice, our relationship seemed to do a 180. After we moved into the place I am living now, things started to slowly go down hill again. I had a car accident which left me with out wheels, and I have to bum rides. I'm moving again in September to a place where I don't need a car. So I'm not getting one and saving over a grand. Also, when we first started dating she smoked, and quit a couple months into it. As of finals week she started up again. Smoke makes me physically sick, and when I asked her why she started smoking again she took the offensive, and I never really got a real reason. Lately she has been growing more distant. I have been giving her as much space as I can. All she seems to be doing is shutting me out by going into our room and reading, or taking long naps. I've been trying to make casual dates with her, like go to a movie that she wants to see or go out and get some food. Every day she ethier says she is feeling to lazy or not in the mood. Well I have rambled long enough. Any advice would be nice. Thankyou.

[*steve330*]

Paragraphs. Uhh, see if you can just chill with her at her place. Don't try to stop her from doing anything she does (i.e. smoking) until y'all are on good terms again. Be careful in what you say.

[straynote]

Something is definately up with your relationship/her/where her life is going that she may not be sure about herself, or she is and doesn't want to tell you.

She's definately lingering in a relationship she's not sure she wants to stay in anymore or not.

You should talk some more...even if she doesn't fully understand whats going on or if you don't, talk about this whole situation.

And don't blame yourself, this sounds like its very much all on her.

[*steve330*]

Or you could make a rash decision and ask a community of immature people who will give you stupid answers, some of which are obviously sarcastic, others of which are serious. You can then take the seriously stupid responses, act on that, and regret having ever asked the online community.

[cupcakex]

^ roflmao. Chill.

I think you should ask her if there's anything bothering her. Maybe you said, or did something she didn't like, &she just doesn't want to make a big deal about it. I dunno, girls are dumb. Or, maybe she misses her friends &family, if you guys have moved a lot. Moving sucks, and takes a lot out of you.

Just, talk to her.

[KayleighKins]

Paragraphs. Uhh, see if you can just chill with her at her place. Don't try to stop her from doing anything she does (i.e. smoking) until y'all are on good terms again. Be careful in what you say.

^ No.

I think you being really sweet and thoughtful about the whole thing. But the answer is obvious to me: she's depressed. She's not acting normaly because she's tired all the time. She's tired all the time because she very depressed about something. She knows she's depressed, but for some reason she isn't talking to you about it.

You need to hold her and ask her what's wrong. If you ask her sweetly, and like you know that she's sad, she'll probably break down and tell you. If not, then she doesn't trust telling you for some reason.

And you'll have to take it from there.

[EmoEyelinerx]

Something is definately up with your relationship/her/where her life is going that she may not be sure about herself, or she is and doesn't want to tell you.

She's definately lingering in a relationship she's not sure she wants to stay in anymore or not.

You should talk some more...even if she doesn't fully understand whats going on or if you don't, talk about this whole situation.

And don't blame yourself, this sounds like its very much all on her.

Agreed.

[concreteangel]

Maybe she just wants to move on but cant figure out how to tell you

[pinacoolada]

^Yeah, maybe.
But she's probably just confused.
Maybe surprising her with something will make her happy and encourage her to talk to you

[luxuriate]

You have to beat her around be more aggressive. Shes a B-I-T-C-H and you gotta treat her like one okay, thats how you get girls furreal. Never pay for dinner either

[Trooper]

Shes a B-I-T-C-H and you gotta treat her like one okay.

Lol and she can be a very scary one..

[Trooper]

Well, I suprised her with a candle lit dinner. I had flowers, some of her favorite foods, wine, candies, and got her the cd she has been wanting for awhile playing in the background when she got home. I'm pretty sure it was a success. =D