growth, [under construction] constructive criticism appreciated |
 Jun 5 2007, 07:46 PM
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#1
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Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 4 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 531,061  |
crayons and swing sets
hide and go seek the sounds of youth fading from our ears like a long lost hello a moment - it's gone a new beginning car keys and credit cards taking over and trying to consume but we blaze on with splendor creating our own world of extravagance finding our luster and defining our future |
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Jun 5 2007, 10:47 PM
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#2
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 High Voltage!∞ Group: Official Member Posts: 4,728 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,157 |
I like it.
The last two lines of each stanza really appeal to me. 
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Jun 13 2007, 12:55 PM
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#3
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 4 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 531,061 |
ah
thanks it took me a surprisingly long time to get it the way i like it |
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Jun 14 2007, 02:25 PM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 58 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 534,630 |
What about these?:
ADVERTISEMENT REMOVED -mzkandi |
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| *MyMichelle* |
Jun 19 2007, 02:34 PM
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#5
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QUOTE taking over and trying to consume I'm not sure why I feel like this doesn't fit very well... QUOTE but we blaze on with splendor creating our own world of extravagance I love this quote. Overall, I think it's very good. 
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Jun 20 2007, 12:11 AM
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#6
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Member Group: Member Posts: 13 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 536,317 |
Deleted. -HakunaMatata
Reason for edit: Advertising.
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Jun 25 2007, 09:03 AM
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#7
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 42 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 538,136 |
QUOTE(rawrhallelujah @ Jun 6 2007, 01:46 AM)  crayons and swing sets hide and go seek the sounds of youth fading from our ears like a long lost hello a moment - it's gone a new beginning its that first stanza that does it for me!! it just realli describes the long lost childhood memorys!! |
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