Friends... Options

[PaintMyFace]

So I have these two friends, right. Friend 1 and Friend 2. They were both my best friends... until I started hanging around with another girl (Friend 3). Friend 1 and Friend 2 didn't/don't like Friend 3, so they now think that I'm "using" them when Friend 3 isn't at school or just isn't there, when in fact, I don't think I am. Friemd 3 couldn't hang out with anyone, and, to be honest, Friend 3 is now my best friend. Friend 1 has accepted that I've made a new friend, a new best friend, she's okay with it, but it's the fact that it's Friend 3. She hates her. She really doesn't like her.

Friend 2, on the other hand, hasn't said anything to me about all this, although I do know what she's saying/feeling. And I can understand they feel "used" but they don't understand that Friend 3 has no one else since she split up with her boyfriend and Friend 3's boyfriend has argued/grovelled/spread roumours (is that how you spell it) about her, except me. She has no one but me, and to be honest, it's okay like that. I don't mind if she makes new friends - I'm all for that. I have no problem with Friend 3.

Friend 2 had something bad done to her yesterday. I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know! Friend 1 came into our tutor group base, and looked a bit forlorn. I asked her what was wrong (she knew Friend 2 had been beaten up - that was the bad thing - in fact, she was there!) and Friend 1 didn't say anything, just shrugged it off and told me not to worry... now, I worry anyway, but come on!

A boy, (Boy 1) who's a friend of Friend 1 and he used to be a friend of Friend 2, but isn't so close anymore, came over and asked Friend 1 what was wrong. She instantly answered him, making sure that I could listen through him. She could have told me, couldn't she?!

But no, she had to tell me through a boy! She doesn't even like him that much!

Anyway, Friend 2 came into school during break, and I didn't have a lesson with her and then it was lunch... I saw them both walk towards where they have lunch, and they didn't wait for me... so I hung around where I usually have lunch with Friend 3... but was feeling kind of weird that I hadn't gone up to Friend 2 to say "are you ok?" But, I know, and this is the main thing, that if I had done that, I would have got a sarcastic reply back. In the end, I didn't go up to them or say anything, because I know if they did, they would somehow make me feel bad, and when I feel bad, I really don't know what to do. So yeah. I managed to ask Friend 2 if she was okay, she said "no" and Friend 1 said "does she look okay?"

Me: "Well, I was only asking."

Friend 1: "And where were you at lunch? Oh no wait, let me guess, with Friend 3?" (Remember, she hates, despises, Friend 3.)

Me: "Yeah, actually I was, because I know if I bought her with me, you would be like "what the hell is she doing here?" or "WOW! You're here with us!!!!!!!"

Friend 1 and Friend 2 don't say anything and are quiet whilst walking to lesson 4.

At the end of the day, at home, I get an email. From Friend 1, basically saying Friend 2 isn't/wasn't very impressed with me, I've gone down a couple of notches for being a friend, and she felt like I didn't care.

I haven't replied.

I want to, big time, saying "well, honestly, you can't talk about being a good friend. You just stood at the edges whilst Friend 2 was getting beaten up," (true fact), "why can't Friend 2 stick up for herself? Why do you have to do everything for her? You always bitch to her about me, saying she never gets the blame for anything, never talks about anything - well can you blame her?! She has you as a "best friend", and you defend her wayyyy too much." (yet again, another true fact that she does in fact bitch quite a lot to me about Friend 2).

And that's about it, really. I dunno whether to stay friends with them, and if I do, I know I'll get picked on again, not physically, but verbally little comments that actually do get to me and make me wonder if they are good friends, or just leave them all together, which in fact could be quite hard as I see them 5 times a week, about 2 times, up to 5 times each day... which can be annoying, trust me. I dunno... ditch them? Or not?

I know this is long, I know this is my first post, but I need some advice, desperatley. Can you please not just say "ditch them". Give me a reason... back it up, because I'm... I'm just like that, I guess. Sorry!

Thanks for reading, and please reply asap! =] x

[*steve330*]

Women... Can't live with em, can't shoot em.

[HelloSunshine]

Women... Can't live with em, can't shoot em.

On a more serious note, though. It must be really hard for you! I mean, they might not be the "best friends" to you, even if they are/were your best friends before. Like, they can treat you badly or make fun of you or something. Most people would say to just forget about them because they don't seem to really care about you. But I've been there, and I know it's hard. So, in my situation, I didn't write them off as friends completely. We got into this fight. It was me against them two, but we confronted each other, said sorry, and forgave each other. We're best friends again. The fight actually helped us. We're kind of nicer and more careful with each other now.

The point is, tell them how you feel. Tell them you sometimes don't feel like they're the best of friends, and that all the backstabbing needs to stop. You might not be able to be how you guys used to be, but it really helps. Tell them that if it's problem that you're friends with friend #3, they don't have to be friends with friend #3. Make sure they understand that it hasn't changed how you are.

Hoped that helped. And, goodluck.

[EmoEyelinerx]

So yeah. I managed to ask Friend 2 if she was okay, she said "no" and Friend 1 said "does she look okay?"

Me: "Well, I was only asking."

Friend 1: "And where were you at lunch? Oh no wait, let me guess, with Friend 3?" (Remember, she hates, despises, Friend 3.)

Me: "Yeah, actually I was, because I know if I bought her with me, you would be like "what the hell is she doing here?" or "WOW! You're here with us!!!!!!!"

Friend 1 and Friend 2 don't say anything and are quiet whilst walking to lesson 4.

It seems to me like their jelous of you making new friends. I mean they WERE your best friends before you met friend 3 right? I think you should write a email asking what you wanted to asnd then see what they have to say. Tell them that they arnt being good frineds because their ditching you because you made a new frined. If they dont have a good answer I would say to ditch them because if they get mad over some stupid thing like making a new friend, thats just crazy.

[cupcakex]

Jesus, that was a lot to read.

I think you need to, obviously, talk to them. Ask them why you can't be friends with #3. It really isn't fair of #1 to make you pick and choose. See what's really bothering her, because she shouldn't treat you like shit just for being friends with someone.

Does #3 know that your other best friends don't like her?