Love and Clingy?, Is there a difference? Options

[KayleighKins]

You don't have to read what's below, but it might help in the answer.

Now, what is the difference of feeling love (in my case) and being clingy (in his eyes)?

I just ended a relationship with my boyfriend of two years. We loved each other, and then he came down with a disease. I was very worried about him, and even more worried when he stopped taking his pills. Later I learned that his illness is incurable, and even if you take the pills it ends up making it worse. I was alright with that, but more and more he started pulling away from me. He stopped calling me and our conversations were flat.

We both made mistakes, but I finally broke it off with him. He didn't care, he even asked me to date other people. I did feel very heartbroken for awhile though (this all happened within a month's time). He didn't call me for an entire month, which pulled at my heartstrings and made me feel very lonely, because:

1. He promised to call me
2. He had called me everyday at 9:00 for about a year and 10 months

Anyway, I felt like I needed closer. I called him and begged him to tell me whether we were completely over. He said many things that lead me to believe that he just needed some time.

He told me to wait for him.

And so I did, like the good girlfriend I am (and stupid, naive girl I am). Finally I couldn't take the heartache and asked one of his friends to please tell me whether to step off or not. She told me that he had told her that he didn't want to talk to me anymore because I was too clingy.

I put all of his things in storage and found someone new (although, after 2 years, I'm not exactly falling head over heels for him, just...putting myself out there really).

[*Mercy*]

Moved to relationships

[MeanBastard]

Clingy would be not letting him go to hang out with friends? Your ex-boyfriend is probably just suffering from some depression since his life is going to end. If this IS a terminal illness.

[cori-catastrophe]

Clingy would be not letting him go to hang out with friends? Your ex-boyfriend is probably just suffering from some depression since his life is going to end. If this IS a terminal illness.

agreed. just give him some time.

[*steve330*]

Clingy could also mean that you never give him time for himself, like he wants to hang out with guys and do guy stuff but you're always there so he can't. Maybe?

[spongeboblover]

the definition of clingy is To remain close; resist separation.
so if you were doing that, you were being clingy.
but you dont for sure if his friend lied or not.
you have to get the truth from him.
cuz that just guy talk.

an example is when i broke up with my ex i ask his friend, his friend said that he was used me so i called him up and he said that basically he only said that to be cool around his friends is how i gathered it

so to know if you are really clingy you have to call him and say so and so said you thought i was clingy and he would tell you the truth

because i cant tell you if you were clingy cuz i know nothing about your guys relationship.

but i hope he feels better

[KayleighKins]

No, it's not usualy a terminal illness. If it was...no, there isn't any way I would recover this easily.

Crohns

He lives four hours away. The only thing I asked of him was to call me at least every night to tell me about his day and see how he was doing. He didn't even have to talk long, just to check in, "I love you." "I love you too." "How are you doing?" "Well today I--"

He didn't even have to ask about me!

Anyway, he made up the excuse that he wanted to "focus more on his health" as if I was some way intterupting his healing process. His mother probably talked him into that. We're both Christian Scientists, which means we hardly ever take medicene unless it's an emergency.

You know. Like you have Chrones, or something.

When his mother found out that her medicine wasn't going to work, she completly flipped flopped (she once made my mom drive two hours just to drop of medicine he had forgot at my house the night we drove him back home) and told him he wasn't aloud to take his meds at all.

I was very upset. I felt like he wasn't listening to me. I was worried sick that something bad would happen (his stomach would rupture etc etc). He would take a shower and his mother would pull me aside and shove Christian Science healing stories and other reading matierials in my hands and say, "I know you don't believe in this but..."

And I used to get so angry because it was my religion! Of course I believe in it! I've had tons of small healings! But...and this is it, you cannot FORCE something like this to heal quickly, on a whim, just because. And she would pray for god to please please please save her son, when really, my religon says to denounce the illness at all.

Whether you think my religon is crazy or not, she must have convinced Sebastian that I was hindering his healing, and in his haste to get better (Oh God he's trying so hard) he's been following everything she said (to the point where she's been stuffing him full of Yogurt, even though there isn't any evidence that the bactiria can help his intestine. It's an spanish thing. He's El Salvadorian), even if it means giving me up.

Like I said, he told me to wait for him. Probably until after he had healed himself, although he never said that.

I never saw him anymore. Because he lived so far away we would always visit days at a time. Summer was the best because we could stay entire weeks. But he skipped camping with me, and told me, "No." when I asked him to come to my graduation.

It was the last straw. It was so wrong without him there. I knew he couldn't possibly love me as much as he used to, and I got very, very depressed. I still called him everynight, but he got angry when I cried. "Why do you need me so much? Why do I have to call you?"

My friends were flipping, "Dump him, dump him, you can do better, he isn't treating you right!"

It was like you switched my boyfriend with someone entrily diffrent and entirly mean. So I did it, I dumped him. And he didn't even care.

But of course, he told all his friends I was clingy. And here I am, over him. But still loving him, and still worrried about his health. Just, left behind.

And I still stand by that it was love that kept me by his side while he was sick, not some sort of "clingy nature" that I might have.

[EmoEyelinerx]

Clingy is when you are ALWAYS talking to him and ALWAYS want to be with him 24/7. Love is when you talk to him alot and want to be with him alot but not so its like an obsession. Its also where you give him some space.

[EmoEyelinerx]

Clingy is when you are ALWAYS talking to him and ALWAYS want to be with him 24/7. Love is when you talk to him alot and want to be with him alot but not so its like an obsession. Its also where you give him some space.

Edit:// Sorry didnt mean to double post.

[cupcakex]

Time, babe. Just give it time. In this situation, that seems like the best option.

And, it depends on who the person is, who's deciding if someone is too lovely, or clingy.

[KayleighKins]

Time, babe. Just give it time. In this situation, that seems like the best option.

And, it depends on who the person is, who's deciding if someone is too lovely, or clingy.

Yeah, pretty much.

He sent me some graduation gifts and a card that said he was sorry and proud of me. And for me to have a great summer and a good time in China (which is where I'm going this summer anyway).

Sounds like things won't be achanging.

[cupcakex]

Well, at least you're parting on good terms. :]