Do You Ever Think About Me Anymore?, self-explanitory Options

[MrStrife]

Well here's the deal guys. I just overheard Ne-yo's new song called "Do You" and the fact that I can relate to it made inspired to finally write about this. There's this one girl who I'll call Nyna for memory of one of my exes. I met Nyna close to 7-8 years ago at dance that was held at a church. When I first saw her, I instantly liked her and wanted a dance but she ended up dancing with one of my boys instead. Okay whatever was what I thought and later on Nyna and a bunch of my friends went to one my boys house to toke and drink. After one my boys jacked a car and we went on a g-ride for a few hours in Boston and she had sat on my homeboys lap to make room. My homeboy knew I was jealous and kept on smiling at me while she kept ignoring me. I had to get dropped off first and wanted to get a hug from Nyna right but the thing was she started bitching like get the f* out and fine whatever. Bitch right?

Well later on, we got back into contact with each other and started talking a lot on the phone. She apologized for acting that way and I'm like whatever about it because I wasn't crushing on her anymore. We became good buddies at that point and just talked about whatever. She lived in the projects where a lot of my friends lived by so we knew a lot of the same people and she made friends with my sister and my cousin. We got really close at this point. Then what do you know she meets a guy and they start dating for what seems like an eternity. To this day, I have neither met nor talked to him.

One new years night, she spent over my house (she slept over with my sister in her room) and we all toked and drank with 6 people. One of the funnest nights of my life because we all acted wicked stupid and just cracked up on each other all night. I actually picked up a 30$ snowglobe/musicbox for her as a late xmas present and gave it to her. She didnt show any emotion when she got it almost rather disappointed I thought so later on that night I grabbed the present back and gave it to another girl because I thought she'd at least enjoy it, you know. Plus when midnight came, I wanted a kiss but she ended up kissing the air. Sad, huh? I spent the night over at my homegirls house and never wanted to talk to Nyna again.

She got mad at me for taking the gift back and claimed she did love it but I wasn't convinced and my homegirl knew that the gift wasn't meant for her but I didn't want to take it back. Gift that nice was meant to be treasured, you know. Eventually we got over it and kept talking, getting closer and closer while all the time she was still with her boyfriend. Talked about everything and got really personal. Before I knew it, she became my best friend.

That changed one night when she got really emotional with me. See both of our fathers left us when we were kids and I did my best to comfort her. She started crying and well that's as far as I'm going to say about it because it's too personal actually. That one night was special because our feelings were out there and we were there for one another but still she had a boyfriend and I wanted to do the right thing. Later, she got into a big fight with her boyfriend because she caught him cheating on her. She already made up her mind and broke it off. Later on though, she hooked up with a guy from another set (who actually is my enemy which hurts, you know) got physical with him but eventually got back with her previous boyfriend. I got so heated about what happened that I didn't want to talk to her no more, blocked her and everything. Still, I couldn't help but think about her.

Couple years passed by, and I was doing better. Keeping busy, staying in school, living the single life. All was going great until I saw her one day on the way to work. It was like nothing changed at all and it was so great seeing Nyna again. She looked way better than before but come to find out from her she just had a baby and was still with her baby daddy (her boyfriend from all that time). We exchanged numbers and what not and still talk to each other. We both grown up a lot since the first day we met and after all that time we're still best friends. We still know each other the best and have so much fun being ourselves around each other. She knows I'm still there for her and I've actually proved it. Sometimes though, I get the urge to want to be with her more than a friend and I can sense that she does sometimes too. Frustrating because we both honestly do love each other and we both know it but the fact is that we just can't be together.

Thanks to anybody who took time to read this. Comments are appreciated.

[JonathanK]

Yea man sorry to hear that. i'm kinda in the same situation. I'm white and my ex was east indian.....try explaining that to her parents lmao. Actually her parents had no idea i was alive nor that she had a bf. A couple years before she met me she had this long distance relationship with this guy from the UK. Then he stopped calling and she started to date me. Out of the blue then he calls and tells her he still *loves* her and he apologizes for not calling in 7 months. I honestly was so pissed I was about to hop a plane to England and find him and beat the living piss out of him. A few weeks later she breaks up with me, she said she needs to control her school life and wants to be single for a while. And i respected that but I know that i have a feelings she talks to him still and has now starting *dating* him again from that distance. A couple weeks ago my grandfather passed and I was counting on to talk to her but she just ignored me like a 5 year old. Then the next week my friend gets stabbed to death trying to stop 2 girls from fighting. Then this week she tells me she doesnt wanna be my friend anymore. That honestly killed me and I was almost at my breaking point. Like I know she still has feelings for me but everytime something bad happens in her life she runs the other way and hides her pain and emotions in like a big shadow. I still like her to and have feelings for her since she was my first gf to be expected. And the thing is we are in the same art class which kills me even more. I still think about her but now I have my eye on this other girl, but sometimes i wish i could go back and try to change things or wish they were different. Everything was perfect until England boy tried to come back. And it just kills me cause she says *he's the only boy i've ever and maybe will ever love* Im just thinkin ummm o.....k u do know i bet right now he is screwing another girl. You saying you don't expect a 20 year old guy to be bar hopping and screwing other girls while you wait for absolutely no reason. Then two things just popped into my head. *If you can only love one person, you dont' really love them, just the image you created for them in your mind* and *If you love someone let them go. if they come back they're yours forever, if not it wasn't meant to be* But yea I've been having a really hard time lately. You know trying to pick up the pieces of my life thta have been shattered lately. Good luck man feel better

[MrStrife]

Hey thanks again for leaving the comment. Sorry about what happened man it must suck big time. You've been hit by all those tragedies one after another all at once it seems while I've been dealing with mine for years. Hope you're coping with your losses all right and turning to your family, friends and loved ones. Honest man, I think your ex should grow up a little bit more and realize you're hurting. Don't want to judge her or anything because I don't know her and she's not here to defend herself, but she should be there for you at least as a friend instead of self involved ignoring you. Shouldn't blame the guy from england too much even though he sounds like a dick because sooner or later the same problems would still come out, you know? We're only human and we're not perfect. Nothing is actually, not even love. I guess time will tell and my best wishes go to you and your family. Hang in there man. Peace

[EmoEyelinerx]

Wow that might have been the longest post I have EVER read. Sorry to hear about what your dads done. I think shes truly in love with the guy shes with right now so I think you should just try to get over her the best you can. I know its hard but you gotta push through it and go on with life. You cant let some girl hold you back from the world.

Btw-Keep in touch with her and try to be friends still though.

[MrStrife]

^That was beautiful. Simple, honest, and exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks and sorry it was so long. lol.

[Phil2thejay]

That was one of the longest post I've read. And for once, I actually liked reading it. AND you live in Boston. I used to live in Westie^^
Anyways well atleast your guys are still tight ya know? Maybe it's not meant to be if you guys are like that. Maybe its just meant to be close friends. You can never really tell what will happen in the future. I suggest you stay kool with her though.