Hopeless Dejection, I'm not a poet, so don't expect much. x] Options

[*The Markster*]

So I just finished my English homework, which basically was to just write a poem. I don't really write stuff, but I decided to share it with you guys.

Here goes ..

I stand at the brink of self-destruction,

A thing I never thought could become a reality.

I face the adversity of your rejection,

And helpless pain in my heart—a hollow cavity.

The sun I scrutinize day by night,

Waiting for love to be shed upon my life.

To my eyes, it is indeed very bright,

Yet it can never compare to this dismal strife.

You, a love into whom mere beauty was sculptured,

Were someone I imagined only in my dreams;

But now you challenge me with reckless torture

Scarring not my body, but my soul, it seems.

I slowly suppress this spirit of mine,

Stirred by a mutual affection that once was,

No longer enraptured by good, but blinded

By the shadowy remnants of your love.

[tokyo-rose]

Hey, this is pretty good. Good job with the rhyming and imagery. I really like the sixth and last stanzas. :D

[*S0ul_Reaper*]

The sun I scrutinize day by night,

Waiting for love to be shed upon my life.


To my eyes, it is indeed very bright,

Yet it can never compare to this dismal strife.

I like those lines, very well written you capture good imagery , feelings, and some personification. and of course something I and other people can relate to. good job keep it up.

[*The Markster*]

Thanks for the compliments.

[tokyo-rose]

You're welcome.

How long did it take you to write this?

[*The Markster*]

You're welcome.

How long did it take you to write this?

Around two to three hours.
Am I slow or what!

[tokyo-rose]

Around two to three hours.
Am I slow or what!

Nah, good poems take a while to write. You really need to take the time to think of the right words to express yourself properly.