the house is scary, writing to show assignment Options

[*suddenly she*]

I wrote this in a rush for English.
We started out with the sentence, "The house is scary" and we basically show why! These are pretty fun...

Write your own or tell how I could make it better. lalalala

It had a white picket fence and a perfect little garden in the front yard. The grass was airbrushed and mowed down to perfect little green stubs. Two perfectly-sized red Japanese maple trees posed on each side of the lawn, upright and shooting an aura of optimism to all the passersby. The house was a freshly painted Disney-pink-and-yellow. The yellow-brick path leading straight through the yard winked and skipped into the bright white porch, where two girls in white dresses and blue satin sashes frolicked with an unnatural slow-motioned grace. Perched upon the perfectly cut banister was a pink birdhouse and a stand, and perched upon the stand was a raven darker than hell. It was a beautiful day outside, and the two girls in white dresses and blue satin sashes frolicked and frolicked all day. Then the older one sighed and leaned upon the railing of the porch that belonged to the perfect little house, while the younger came up behind her. “I’m so glad the world is such a pretty and perfect place,” she said. The rail then broke and splintered into ten thousand pieces, piercing her and her sister until they bled and died on their perfect white porch. The raven darker than hell stood still, and then flew down to the girls. Noticing their shiny eyes still wide open in dead shock, he grinned manically, plucked them out and quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”

[HakunaMatata]

'Kay sorry, let me recover.

*breathes*

I was at first iffy about the description as "darker than hell", but you really turned it around by the end of it. (And I mean completely did.) Especially for something rushed, it's terrific.

[FoxLucky]

Definitely interesting...

[*suddenly she*]

Heh. I wasn't sure how to turn "Disney-pink-and-yellow" into watered-down Edgar Allen Poe, so I just shoved "darker than hell" into the middle of it.

I have ridiculous issues writing happy assignments. It always comes out sarcastic.

Thanks!