Midnight Everythings |
 Apr 29 2007, 05:04 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 62 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 491,355  |
Before you read this you have to know that I am most comforitable at night, its when i think, and function better.
I guess I just want some people to critique this for me, because I havent written in a while and I want to know if I still have it. I haven't decided if this is a good or bad piece in my opinion. All opinions as brutally honest as you feel is needed, are welcome. It wont hurt me...it will just keep me from sharing if its crappy. Midnight Everythings
In the midnight hours, With the falling stars, And chilling winds, I'm home. In the midnight hours, With your whispers close, And your arms tightly hold, Im safe. In the midnight hours, With the dreams so close, And the falling eyelids tired, I realize... Your the midnight wind, That chills my soul, The midnight moon, That lights my room. Your my everything. Your my home. |
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(1 - 7)
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May 1 2007, 12:50 AM
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#2
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 Lets value our lives. Group: Official Designer Posts: 235 Joined: Nov 2006 Member No: 478,298 |
beautiful... I wish that was me...
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May 1 2007, 12:57 AM
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#3
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 Home is where your rump rests! Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,235 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 451,969 |
Hi, I LOVE your avatar. The poem is beautiful, and I love how I notice that it can be seperated into pieces but it's just one stanza. Lovely.
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May 1 2007, 06:27 PM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 164 Joined: Oct 2006 Member No: 470,731 |
I don't know...
I felt it was just words. It didn't hold anything to me. That's just me though. I liked the idea of Midnight and all that, but repition's getting old to me as well. |
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May 1 2007, 08:26 PM
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#5
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 62 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 491,355 |
Thanks guys. Greatly appreciated...
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| *suddenly she* |
May 2 2007, 12:48 AM
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#6
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Guest |
Your is possessive.
You're means "you are." Otherwise, I'm apathetic. |
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| *My Cinderella.* |
May 11 2007, 11:01 PM
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#7
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Guest |
Its short and yet so detailed. Great job!!
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May 28 2007, 12:53 PM
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#8
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 Fellatio. Group: Official Member Posts: 2,122 Joined: Mar 2007 Member No: 511,775 |
sounds a little repetetive, but that may be the style. Other than that, I really enjoyed.
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