confused doesn't explain it., the new guy. Options

[heytherekiddo]

alright, straight to the point.

i've been going out with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. things have been a rollercoaster; fights, make-ups, etc. i love him, i do. he makes me happy, but when i tell him his faults and right-from-wrong, he does the same thing over again. it drives me crazy. i feel like i often have to babysit him and to make it short, i feel as if our relationship isn't to its full potential.

but he is a great guy, overall.

then there's this new guy that comes along. smart, responsible, VERY POLITE, and knows how to hold himself. i've been talking to him A LOT; around early night to 1 or 3 am, for almost a week.

there was this blurry moment where we confessed to each other that we thought about being together. but of course, with his decency, he won't go forth with it.

now it bothers me so much. i enjoy talking to this new guy and i haven't really been into my boyfriend recently.

so this is the point where i ask myself who do i consider? or better yet, what should i do about all this?

[LennonLime]

well, well.

Long relationships do have their ups and downs, but from what I'm hearing, your current boyfriend seems a bit immature.

So when the new guy comes along, he seems like your knight in shining armour. But you've only been talking to him for...what, a week? I say give it some time. let it play out fr a little bit more before you make your next move...

Good things come to those who wait

[EmoEyelinerx]

well, well.

Long relationships do have their ups and downs, but from what I'm hearing, your current boyfriend seems a bit immature.

So when the new guy comes along, he seems like your knight in shining armour. But you've only been talking to him for...what, a week? I say give it some time. let it play out fr a little bit more before you make your next move...

Good things come to those who wait

Yupp^^ totally agree

[SimplicityGirl]

Well...all relationships have problems. Especially when you've been with someone for such a long time...some of their faults just seemed to irk you to no end.

Your boyfriend sounds immature. Very very immature. How old are you guys anyway? If he's in a relationship with you, I'd expect him to be slightly more mature.

I say don't do anything with the new guy yet. Wait it out and see what happens. If your boyfriend doesn't change, and still won't listen to you or anything, then try taking a break with him and see.

[Mystic Eyes]

SimplicityGirl makes some valid points. Don't do anything now, see how things go with your boy friend and take it from there.

[heytherekiddo]

we're both 17..

[dahding]

who do you consider?

wow. that just sounds like they're both just there and willing for your every whim. a tad bit selfish. it sounds like your treating the new possibly guy crush as your alternate plan and escape from a problematic relationship.

1. despite how immature or whatever your current boyfriend may be, he doesn't deserve to be set on tenderhooks like that. not really nice. especially since u two have been together for so long.

2. no one likes to be told that they're wrong and they have to fix themselves. and when they are told, it is often very hard to change habits. old habits die hard, memory fails you, the usual. don't judge him too harshly. he's human, like everyone else. he's only 17, as are you. yes, he does have the potential to change, but it takes time. have a serious talk with him about how you feel about how you have to "babysit" him, before you make any other decisions. communication is key, always.

3. no relationship is always at its full potential. why? because there's always room to improve. things that can be better. don't cop out because of problems. don't cut off the source of your problems by finding someone new and more appealing, fix the problems themselves.

4. do you really like the new interest? or is he simply a crush? make sure you get that clear with yourself.

5. "your boyfriend seems immature" well, how can i phrase this...he's a male teenager. yeah, generally, we're pretty immature. suck it up.

6. don't treat the new interest like your backup. it's not fair to him, because he seems like a nice guy by your description.

i'm tired of writing now.

[heytherekiddo]

me consider both wasn't a selfish question.
maybe it sounded selfish to you.

maybe i should mention this but, there is a lot of communication between him and i.
a year worth of talking out problems, his and mine, i think i've mentioned the babysitting part.

yes, i've tried everything.
talking it out.
hints.
reverse psychology.

this new guy.
he's not a backup rope.
he just happened to come and made me realize about my relationship more.

i should have also mentioned that my boyfriend and i have borken up a few times, due to the same same things.

[*My Cinderella.*]

It reminds me of my previous relationship. It was on and off as well. I guess you see something in this new guy that you miss about what you two (your boyfriend) had. I think you should talk it out once more, make sure he knows you're serious.

[ReggieM]

well u cant really change a person and expect them to be happy so just deal with his faults everyone has em!BABY

[panther]

Dump the bf, get with the other guy. Life is too short to waste that much time with someone you aren't going to be with for the next 60 years (Marriage)

[mytangerine]

my rule is that if i have been with a guy for at least a month & i am uncertain about the way things are going & worried that things will not work out in the long run.. theeeeeeeeeeen goooodbye boyfriend? i'm pretty harsh though, as much as i try not to be.. perhaps take a break & hang out with the new guy & see if he meets your standards, etc. [not exactly the greatest plan, but that is what i would do.. ]