He LIED. Is it a big deal?? Options

[tagheuer]

my bf of five months confessed (actually i confronted him) that he lied to me on still going to school. But in fact took a semester off and had been working full time. so all those times he called me at school, he was probably on lunch break with bunch of coworkers. ARG all the lies!!

His reason for lying, he felt like he was a nobody, he was not good enough for me, and I was too good for him. So he was afride to tell me, he was afride of loosing me. He felt lucky to have me, and always wonder why im with him. Then He started bawling, saying how sorry he was. i actually felt BAD and sorry for him.

so first, should i make a big deal out of the LIE he told me? i don't want to let him go because i really care about him. and really am in love with him... but i hated him for lying.

* This isn't the first time he lied either!! i first found out about his new job(two weeks into) from someone else!! i confronted him and he said he didnt think it was a big deal. i asked him if he still goes to school, he said yes. i asked if theres anything else you need to tell me, he said no. In a way, he didnt want to tell me about the job because not going to school will come out. BUt he still covered up well enough for me not to find out. *

[EmoEyelinerx]

Well i dont think its that big of a deal but just tell him that its ok to tell you the truth

[Pr0n_Man]

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This post has been edited by Duchess of Dork: Apr 10 2007, 01:14 PM

[alysaphobia]

lying... really bugs me.
however, his motive behind the lies was not that bad. of course, it's a sorry thing that he couldn't come clean to you about dropping out of school for that time being but hey, he was ashamed of himself, and scared that you'd break up with him for it.
if you guys have had an otherwise perfectly ok relationship, i'd say it's definitely worth letting this go. if you want him to tell you stuff like this in the future, make sure you assure him that you're there for him- and you're not ashamed of him.

[*mishyerr*]

I think although it's bad that he lied, it kind of shows how much he cares about you :/ It's really hard for guys (imo) to deal with insecurities, and he was probably feeling very insecure about himself compared to you. You should probably let him know that you do not approve of lying, but also the way you feel about him and how much he means to you (and that he is good enough for you).

[oRe0_c00KiE_cAkE]

^i agree

[lostgrl16]

i understand why he lied and the fact that he lied didnt feel good to you, let him know that. i also agree with mishyerr, girls can easily tell the world about how they feel and not get laughed at, yet males can not, thats just how society is. they deal with emotions differently than females. about him "its okay to let him go"- i understand why he said that. when you feel so strongly about someone, yes you'll flip the world upside down to keep that together, but at the same time, you dont want to hold them back either. (thats how i personally feel anyways) but basically if you feel that this relationship is worth it, i mean just talk to him, let him know you'll support him no matter what and you'd rather him not lie anymore. just talk it out, im sure it can be resolved.

[shortcake]

lying is bad but the reason makes it less bad. It's not like he was off with some girl at least he was doing something good with his time. Maybe there might be something more behind it and maybe he's having an internal conflict with never being good enough maybe not only with you but in general. Just tell him it bothered you and ask him if he really wants to be with you and if he says no then you got your answer.

[MrStrife]

Don't really see the point of him lying about something like that especially when you need to make up even more lies to cover up the big one. Simp

[Mystic Eyes]

Yeah, he lied which isn't right but what most people are over looking is his intent. His intent was completely sincere and therefore it's not that big of a deal. He didn't lie purely because he wanted to. I'm sure deep, deep down he wanted to tell you so bad but couldn't bring himself to.

In future tell him not to lie anymore and that he can tell you anything. Your a couple so trust and honesty is very important.