first poem here Options

[wishforhelsinki]

And he hates when she cries
Because it’s the only time his heart breaks when he looks into her eyes
So he swore by her glistening cheeks and the damp on his shirt
He would never be the reason that she hurt
And he willed her to fix his broken heart
With a curl of lovely lips and teeth that shined as they part
By July they would be gone
When the rains stopped and summer would dawn
Hand in hand they’d cross San Diego’s yellow lines
To San Francisco’s lights and traffic signs
Where they would toast as they dined
That night love would never be defined

[Ekay]

That's goood. Been awhile since I've read or wrote a poem that rhymed. I don't think those are in my anymore. buuut it doesn't mean you're not well off :D. To make it sound better starting off, maybe you should get rid of the and? because it just seems so misplaced being there. makes it sound like it's a only a piece of something bigger.

[wishforhelsinki]

Thank you,
Yeah, I was really wondering about the 'and'
I have a problem with lines being too short, heheh

[LOWinSKANK]

i like the and. =]