One step closer... Options

[*mona lisa*]

Why is it so important to get to know someone well before passing judgement? (Perhaps judgement isn't the proper term...) Hypothetically speaking, that would be great. I'd love to get to know all of you very well but who has that much time? First (or current, whatever) impressions are not completely useless and this impression can be based on interactions with yourself and others, whether they be in person or online. Someone's attitude with you will most likely be different from the attitude with another being as most of us, if not all, are guilty of being subjective.

It may be due to personality traits and differences that all this happens; I can't be too sure. However, to get to know someone, honesty and communication from both sides are key.

[*Frénésie*]

I think 'getting to know someone' is getting exaggerated. If you've got an attitude, I don't think I'd waste my time just to get to know you. Even if you aren't generally like that.

Most of the time, we're juged by the way we 'present' ourselves (I just translated from French to English). Especially on the internet. You can't get to know EVERYONE on this forum so 'first impression' is extremely important.

I wouldn't call it judging either Mona. I don't know what other name for it.

There's also the 'you don't know him / her so don't bla bla' excuse. Again, we can't get to know everyone from A - Z. That's life.

[MrStrife]

First impressions aren't always right.

[*mona lisa*]

Yeah, judgement seems to be too harsh of a word.

Getting to know someone may mean talking to him/her frequently or even just talking for a short period of time to see if his/her is any different.

No, they're not always right, but as I said, they're not completely useless. You may be right, you may be wrong. My first impressions are almost always right so I won't disregard them on the general idea that first impressions aren't always right. If not, I take a second look at his/her attitude but the first will still never leave my mind. I completely agree though that the way you present yourself is how that first impression is formed, especially if the forum and not outside interaction is the only form of communication.

[*Frénésie*]

First impressions aren't always right.

Nobody said they were.

Like Mona said, they're important. If you go for a job interview, you're going to be judged by your first impression. They might be wrong. That's why you have to make a good first impression.

[deletethisplease]

First Impressions are ussually fake, and used to trick you into thinking somebody is better than they are, don't be tricked.

[P-Murph-E]

Do be tricked. It's nice to play along.

[*Duchess of Dork*]

First impressions are just that, first impressions. Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're wrong.

Sometimes people just change. So at one point your first impression was spot on, then later, it's not because either you have changed or they have changed.

Communication is fundamental in any relationship, be it casual or otherwise. Particularly in online interactions. I've said it before and I'll state it again: Context is tragically lost on the internet. Sure, a smilie here or a "o.O" type of expression there may give the idea that something is to be taken lightly, or in jest or perhaps to make it clear that someone is angry or frustrated. It doesn't tell you everything though.

Also, judging does, at first glance seem to be harsh but it is the truth. It's what we do and it's human nature to do so. That doesn't mean we should go off on someone or anything of the like. I think that judgement is closely related to impression.

All we can do is just be ourselves and hope to not get into much conflict with another. You don't have to like someone to respect them.

[Señorita Semi-Au...]

Goodness, I've had so many bad first impressions on this forum (and of course some great ones). If I acted out all of those impressions I wouldn't know half of the awesome people on this site. It's so important to get to know people before passing judgment. Who knows what someone is going through that can effect that post you read to give you that bad impression.

[*Frénésie*]

How many people do you actually think you can 'get to know'? Do you have the time for that?

[Jeng]

first impressions are usually fake, but people do 'change' after that impression and sometimes show who they really are.

[Simba]

Maybe first impressions wouldn't give you enough information about somebody to "judge" them, but I wouldn't say you'd necessarily have to talk and hang out with someone and "get to know them" in order to "judge" them.

I'd feel safe to "judge" someone if I did something like go through their living quarters for a little while.

[HakunaMatata]

First impression aren't fake, they're the first thing we think of when we see someone or something. How is that fake?

The trick is just finding that fine line between receiving first impressions and judging people, it's all about finding how much emphasis you put on the first impression. Put too much, and you're too dependent without finding out if they're different from your first impression. Put too little, and you may be caught off guard; it's always nice to at least have a general impression of things.

[HongKongDong]

First impressions fool me all the time so I tend to want to get to know the person, but mostly I never get around to it.

Which is why I don't care how I act around new people, because i'm just being me.

[turntabletux]

I'm black, so I'm pretty much f**ked for the rest of my life on the subject of first impressions lol =P

[KissMe2408]

Yeah, getting to know someone is important and all, but it is also really important to get to know the front they put on for people. It helps you learn more about the person. The fact that they put on a fake smile or a bitchy attitdue tells you alot about the person as well. And seeing their facade is just important when learning about who they are as a person.
Of course, it really is crucial to get to know someone. But if they seem like a really ugly person from your first few encounters, chances are that they are like that. I mean, some people just get a long better with certain people then others . just, life.

[turntabletux]

I try not to judge people, because I hate it when I am judged myself. Funny enough, I am mostly judged by my own family members.