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Hate.
*I Shot JFK*
post Feb 18 2007, 02:44 PM
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Hating everything
Stopped to see the flower, and it's beautiful
All the little pieces together
= Nothing
But apart
One at a time
We can digest
Suck the calories from the world
And grow fat, lazy, and solid
While we sit and learn to love
The hate
Which, drawn from the flowers
(Which themselves are beautiful)
Comprise the daily grind
Of three meals a day
Round the dinner table
(Can one person sit 'round' a table?)
Chopped flowers
On a finely chopped base
Of equally beautiful small children
Who, failing to eat their hate
Have yet to pull up a chair.
 
 
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Replies (1 - 10)
*mishyerr*
post Feb 18 2007, 08:04 PM
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Although I fail to understand what it means, I like how it sounds in my head.
 
oXMuhNirvanaXo
post Feb 18 2007, 08:19 PM
Post #3


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.. this is f**ked up.. nice job
 
*Kathleen*
post Feb 19 2007, 01:15 AM
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I like, except the random equal sign. I know it goes with the style, but it's.. all lonely.. XD.gif
 
lalalaLANUH
post Feb 19 2007, 10:56 AM
Post #5


peace&love, earth flower
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I dig the last few lines.

QUOTE
Chopped flowers
On a finely chopped base
Of equally beautiful small children
Who, failing to eat their hate
Have yet to pull up a chair


*wordgasm*
 
multifaceted
post Feb 19 2007, 11:48 PM
Post #6


I'm Cattt. :]
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I got the main idea of the piece but the transition between ideas are sudden.

And the equal sign is quite lonely being in the front of the line.
 
Señorita Semi-Au...
post Feb 20 2007, 12:05 AM
Post #7


Oh My Goblet of Fire!
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I love the beat, very choppy. Were you going for that effect? I think you could break it down further and construct solid lines by sewing together a few ideas. This has excellent potential and I love the message.
 
Kontroll
post Feb 24 2007, 12:25 AM
Post #8


Jake - The Unholy Trinity / Premiscuous Poeteer.
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laugh.gif rolleyes.gif
 
*Uronacid*
post Feb 27 2007, 12:47 AM
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I don't know much about literature... I don't like this.
 
Aerjae
post Feb 27 2007, 01:03 AM
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rissa.
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wow. It's nice. happy.gif
 
bat19
post Feb 27 2007, 01:13 AM
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http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=168611
 
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