Is is rape or, is it not??? Options

[MrStrife]

My cousin's buddy who's 4 months younger than me (I'm 20) is going out with a 14 year old girl. Now that's just statutory to me but he keeps insisting that it's not just because of the fact he insists and stresses that they don't have sex because she doesn't want him to get in trouble and that he cares about her. He keeps repeating that all they do is hold hands, kiss, hug, sleep with each other (literally sleeping), and get to know each other. But my cousin also told me that they perform orally on each other. What's the law about this and what are they technically doing? Oh yeah, I always wondered how much jailtime a person does for that.

[tokyo-rose]

It's considered statutory rape if someone over 18 goes out with someone under 18 whether or not they have sexual intercourse.

[multifaceted]

I'm wondering where are the girlfriend's parents on this.

Sleeping? In whose bed? I would highly doubt that the girl's parents would allow her to have her bf sleeping in her room or her sleeping in her bf's room.

Technically it is not rape because the girl wanted and allowed the guy to do oral.

If it is considered rape, the most he could go for would be the death penalty or life sentence. Even it might be not as bad as murdering someone, it is still considered a criminal act.

[magicfann]

We care so much.

[MrStrife]

He self-proclaims himself as "The Virgin Slayer". He actually got a list of them and same story everytime. hahhaz Can't believe I'm just finding out.

[multifaceted]

^ Then your friend is just sad and desperate to call himself that name.

[*Intercourse.*]

Editted, I read it wrong completely

What is statutory rape?

Statutory rape is illegal sexual activity between two people when it would otherwise be legal if not for their age. The actual ages for these laws vary greatly from state-to-state, as do the punishments for offenders. Many states do not use the actual term "statutory rape," simply calling it rape or unlawful sexual penetration. These laws rarely apply only to intercourse, but rather to any type of sexual contact. Dating someone without sexual contact cannot be considered a form of statutory rape, and is almost never illegal.


Anyway what state do you live in first off, because its different in all states, well for the most part. Like in Hawaii you just have to be 14 to get out of that law and then in a lot of states its 16-18.

What happens if caught and what not

• The severity of the punishment depends on the relative ages of the two people, either of whom may be male or female.
• It is a misdemeanor for a person who is at least 18 years old to have sexual intercourse with a minor who is three years younger than that person.
• If the victim is more than three years younger than the perpetrator, the crime can be either a misdemeanor or a felony.
• If the victim is under the age of 16 and the perpetrator is 21 years of age or older, and they engage in sexual intercourse, the crime can be either a misdemeanor, punishable by up to one year in county jail or imprisonment in the state prison for 2, 3, or 4 years.
• In addition to criminal penalties, there may be civil penalties as well. The district attorney may bring actions to recover civil penalties.
• An adult who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor less than two years younger than the adult is liable for a civil penalty up to $2,000.
• An adult who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor at least two years younger than the adult is liable for a civil penalty up to $5,000.
• An adult who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor at least three years younger than the adult is liable for a civil penalty up to $10,000.
• An adult over the age of 21 years who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor under 16 years of age is liable for a civil penalty up to $25,000.

[MrStrife]

^Are you serious? So he can get away all day with oral pleasure? well we're all in Boston. Wait that's Massachusetts. lolz. Bean is the state pretty much in my opinion.

[*Intercourse.*]

^haha I've made that mistake.
Give me a second and I'll look up Massachusetts for you


here you go:
http://www.lawlib.state.ma.us/sex.html

[MrStrife]

^thanks. hahahhahz that page is funny I mean you can go to jail for adultery? Unreal. What is fornification? Damn they don't play around. But then again, when was last time anyone I know play by the rules? joke joke

[*Intercourse.*]

^haha your welcome. Its some serious business, it should be though because think of people that get raped by people their not even in a relationship with...

[gita]

here's my two bits: this guy's a perv if he's going out with a 14-year-old, and to call himself the "virgin slayer" - well that's disgusting and immature, and this girl needs to watch out. that's not a healthy relationship.

[*Intercourse.*]

Well sheesh, honestly I know it was your two cents and all. But I don't think you can just judge their relationship if you don't even know them.

[gita]

i'm not trying to judge - sorry it came out that way. but seriously, i've heard of really bad things happening in situations like those, and knowing firsthand from things that have happened to people around me, this girl shouldn't be going out with a guy like that.

[*Intercourse.*]

You still sound like your judging the guy at least How much do you really know about this guy to say:

this girl shouldn't be going out with a guy like that

I don't want to single you out or anything, so sorry if it feels like that. Although I get the same reaction from a lot of people and its just I don't think they have the space to judge someone they've never actually met or talked to before.

Please PM me if you want to continue, I don't want to get terribly off topic and ruin this guys topic

[MrStrife]

Well I can say he is a good looking guy. He definitely got the looks. A while ago, I was getting to know this girl and we chilling right. All of a sudden, when she saw him, it's like she didn't know who I was and became one of his groupies. I'm like huh? I'm not jealous because she a chiccenhead for doing that but just more mad. Come on!!!

[*Intercourse.*]

That was a bit rude of her, I think she sounds a bit to immature to be in the relationship. But I don't have any room to say anything about her.

Have you ever talked to your friend about the relationship, like what he thinks about her and such? Maybe he likes that kind of attention..

[MrStrife]

No no no it was another girl I was getting to know that I was talking about that jumped on his grill. I think he's just having fun filling up his list. His theme song is "Back Then" by Mike Jones. I actually was good friends till I found out about his so called "love life" Now its weird.

[*Intercourse.*]

oh, that sounds a bit weird.

[MrStrife]

I know. I'm very random. lol. But seriously, he can get away with the oral?

[*Intercourse.*]

from my understandings yea..

I mean they could get away with just doing it all if no one found out. Thats how it goes.

[espressive]

I know. I'm very random. lol. But seriously, he can get away with the oral?

"Statutory rape is the crime of sex with a minor under the age of consent (AOC). Statutory rape differs from other types of rape in that overt force or threat need not be present. By law (statute), any such sexual activity is assumed to be coercive since the minor is considered in law as unable to give consent to the acts."

Because it says "any sexual activity" instead of "sex", I assume that he wouldn't be able to get away with oral if he got caught. Statutory rape was designed to protect against child abuse and so it's kinda strict, for a good reason.

[Joss-eh-lime]

go tell the girls mom/dad. she's being an idiot.
tell youre friend to find someone who isnt in middle school.
if anything went wrong, with police or someone snitching your friend oculd be in a alot of trouble.

[MrStrife]

I'll talk to them but I refuse to be a snitch.

[espressive]

I'll talk to them but I refuse to be a snitch.

That's ironic. I believe snitch is just that by definition (if you're gonna go talk to the parents... unless they know of this already, which I assume they dont.)

[MrStrife]

Oops I didn't talk to the parents I meant talk to them. Tried to make me a snitch huh lil puff of smoke. hahaz I'm jk. I guess the parents are usually out or working. They mostly hang out where I used to chill before I moved at the "homie spot" where it anything goes.

[*Intercourse.*]

Oh so the parents don't even know shes going out with a 20 yr old? Well thats where her and my relationship differ.

She shouldn't be going out with someone that much older if her parents don't know about it and say its okay. Because if the parents wanted they could say that their daughter was raped and your friend wouldn't be in clear water anymore.

[magicfann]

I think this conversation is far too mature. Lil_Cloud is a fag.

FLAME WAR READY 123 GOGOGOGO

[*mishyerr*]

It's considered statutory rape if someone over 18 goes out with someone under 18 whether or not they have sexual intercourse.

Yup.

And if she gets angry at him and decides to bring it to court, he's basically SCREWED.

[NoSex]

Yup.

And if she gets angry at him and decides to bring it to court, he's basically SCREWED.

Uhmmmm, no.
Statutory Rape only occurs when the "victim" is under the age of consent. The age of consent is not the age of majority everywhere. Further, dating, in of itself, is not a crime. Sexual contact, on the other hand, is.

[*mishyerr*]

Uhmmmm, no.
Statutory Rape only occurs when the "victim" is under the age of consent. The age of consent is not the age of majority everywhere. Further, dating, in of itself, is not a crime. Sexual contact, on the other hand, is.

She is under the age of consent, and if she did decide she were angry at him, she could say that he forced her to do 'oral' with him. The person who was asking did mention that they did make sexual contact. So, if she considered herself the 'victim', since she is 14 and he is either 19 or 20, and she claims that they did have sexual contact, then yes, he could be in trouble.

[NoSex]

She is under the age of consent, and if she did decide she were angry at him, she could say that he forced her to do 'oral' with him. The person who was asking did mention that they did make sexual contact. So, if she considered herself the 'victim', since she is 14 and he is either 19 or 20, and she claims that they did have sexual contact, then yes, he could be in trouble.

I don't think you understand.
I was referring to the affirmation of the idea that an 18 year old can not, legally, go out with anyone under 18 years of age.

It's considered statutory rape if someone over 18 goes out with someone under 18 whether or not they have sexual intercourse.

That bullshit.

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 18. I think it says some where that if the person is so much younger then the other person that it is ok, Like 2 years.
It is ok where my boyfriend and I are.
I we live in PA.
:-)

[PINAYSTER]

i say rape.

but if they love each other.. then age shouldn't matter.

[espressive]

Oops I didn't talk to the parents I meant talk to them. Tried to make me a snitch huh lil puff of smoke. hahaz I'm jk. I guess the parents are usually out or working. They mostly hang out where I used to chill before I moved at the "homie spot" where it anything goes.

Yeah, but are they gonna listen to you...?

You're in a tough position here. You could let this slide & risk the possibility of your friend getting in trouble with the law, or you could step in & possibly ruin friendships. Man, being you sucks.

I think this conversation is far too mature. Lil_Cloud is a fag.

FLAME WAR READY 123 GOGOGOGO

and I think you're trying to push buttons because you're immature. for the sake of pissing YOU off, I'm not even going to start a cussing war with you... as you probably intended me to do.

[*mishyerr*]

I don't think you understand.
I was referring to the affirmation of the idea that an 18 year old can not, legally, go out with anyone under 18 years of age.
That bullshit.

Ohhh, I understand now; I thought the first quote I was agreeing to implied that sexual contact would occur between the 18+ and the 17-.

[krnxswat]

It's considered statutory rape if someone over 18 goes out with someone under 18 whether or not they have sexual intercourse.

You f**king idiot.

[Young_Cutthroat]

Oral sex is still looked at as sex by the law.

[Xspower]

Pretty sure its illegal i mean they mite love each other but if they actualy do that with each other its def illegal whether she wants it or not

[*Uronacid*]

Oh so the parents don't even know shes going out with a 20 yr old? Well thats where her and my relationship differ.

She shouldn't be going out with someone that much older if her parents don't know about it and say its okay. Because if the parents wanted they could say that their daughter was raped and your friend wouldn't be in clear water anymore.

Yeah, your dad and mom know about me... hell they let me sleep over your house for a week :p

[MrStrife]

If there's a theme song to this topic, it should be that song by Akon. Like it goes Nobody want to see us together but it don't matter though Cuz I Got You lolz