Should I be?, luv & honesty Options

[ChibiLovey]

OK,so I had a boyfriend.Barely broke up yesterday night,but then he want to get back with me.And I don't know what I should do...I mean we have things in common,and it's almost Valentine's Day.My friends supported me to agree,but both of us don't want to hurt each other again...what should I do?

We both feeling all awkward about it,and I have no idea how he's feeling...'cause we're being separated by distance and parents,and I'm not sure if our relationships can last any longer.And since he's really smart and talented,most of the things I told him are lies....I felt I should be honest,but can't help it... (I'm the master of all lies...kidding.But this story is true...).I also felt as if he's lying to me as well...I mean he's way too adorable,and girl go gaga on him.I'm not sure if he likes other girls,too.So yeah........Why did he have to pick me..T_T

I feel so used...what should I do?Please help...

[*Uronacid*]

I don't know, what did you lie about?

[ChibiLovey]

Like my life...that's all.T_T If he sees me like this,he'll dump me again for sure...(we barely got back..so yeah)

[multifaceted]

If you lied from the start, it is no use getting back together. When he finds out then he is going to dump you for sure, so might as well save the trouble, and don't make yourself look like a fool when he does find out.

[*Uronacid*]

Like my life...that's all.T_T If he sees me like this,he'll dump me again for sure...(we barely got back..so yeah)

What about your life? That's a pretty general statement...

[ChibiLovey]

If you lied from the start, it is no use getting back together. When he finds out then he is going to dump you for sure, so might as well save the trouble, and don't make yourself look like a fool when he does find out.

I can see why people said this....and I agree for some reasons.And no,I'm not trying to make myself looking like a fool.And I'm not feeling ashame about stuff,except the part that I lied to him.T_T

@Uronacid: Well,since he's smart.I just say like I'm in classes that I don't really have.And then mostly like to show-off some stuff which I don't have...yet.= = And since he's into some stuff,I thought it would be nice if I agree with them as well,which I still don't have.Hm...done.

[*Uronacid*]

I can see why people said this....and I agree for some reasons.And no,I'm not trying to make myself looking like a fool.And I'm not feeling ashame about stuff,except the part that I lied to him.T_T

@Uronacid: Well,since he's smart.I just say like I'm in classes that I don't really have.And then mostly like to show-off some stuff which I don't have...yet.= = And since he's into some stuff,I thought it would be nice if I agree with them as well,which I still don't have.Hm...done.

Well, about the lying part... you should always be yourself in a relationship. If you haven't been yourself then your partner doesn't like you for who you are. If they don' like you for who you are then what's the point of the relationship in the first place?

Well, for me I have seen two positive reasons to enter into a relationship:

1. You're looking for a long term relationship (possibly ending in marriage)
2. You just want to have fun. (It's not serious, maybe you just want to add a little spice to your life.)

Well, you certainly aren't looking for a long term relationship by lying to impress, and definitely not fun when you are only being appreciated for something you aren't. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, but you have to realize that by lying you're only hurting yourself. What are you after when you lie to him?


Anyways, you said you were both separated by distance and parents.

My questions for you:

1. What's the distance you're working with?
2. What's it about the parents that's keeping you apart?

[multifaceted]

You suddenly don't make any sense to me, Josh.

Why are we caring about distance? The relationship will still be the same if they were in adjacent states or east/west states.

It is because of this distance that tempts her to lie about herself to attract this guy because she probably knows that she will never really meet face to face with this guy.

Back to the topic.

If you want to keep the relationship with him (relationship in general), I suggest you guys just be friends and nothing more. If you continue with the relationship as bf/gf, I assure you that the ending will not be pretty and that you might probably come back crying/posting here that you guys broke up because you lied.

I think the best way to handle this situation is to just end it here and now and just be friends.

Now you've learned your lesson. Don't ever lie to a guy if you like him just to get him and think you can get away with it. Trust is one of the most important things in keeping a commited relationship. If you lied to him from the start, he is not going to trust you no matter what you do and what excuse you give.

[*Uronacid*]

You suddenly don't make any sense to me, Josh.

Why are we caring about distance? The relationship will still be the same if they were in adjacent states or east/west states.

It is because of this distance that tempts her to lie about herself to attract this guy because she probably knows that she will never really meet face to face with this guy.

Back to the topic.

She never said how far away she lived... it must be of some importance if she mentioned it in her first post. I guess I just wanted to understand why she posted it. Those questions had no relevance to what I had said before them.

[Kontroll]

OK,so I had a boyfriend.Barely broke up yesterday night,but then he want to get back with me.And I don't know what I should do...I mean we have things in common,and it's almost Valentine's Day.My friends supported me to agree,but both of us don't want to hurt each other again...what should I do?

We both feeling all awkward about it,and I have no idea how he's feeling...'cause we're being separated by distance and parents,and I'm not sure if our relationships can last any longer.And since he's really smart and talented,most of the things I told him are lies....I felt I should be honest,but can't help it... (I'm the master of all lies...kidding.But this story is true...).I also felt as if he's lying to me as well...I mean he's way too adorable,and girl go gaga on him.I'm not sure if he likes other girls,too.So yeah........Why did he have to pick me..T_T

I feel so used...what should I do?Please help...

That pretty much made no sense to me. Haha.

Listen, if you both lied to eachother give it up. Tell him what you lied about, but don't go back out with him. If you think it's gonna hurt you in the long run, then don't bother. How old are you anyway? Listen, he's just some kid...there's more out there. Don't make a big deal out of something that doesn't have to be. Just tell youself....why make a big deal about something I can't control? If he wants you back, and you say yes..then so be it. It's your choice. THink for yourself sometimes. I know you come on here to get advice, but most of it is common sense.

[ChibiLovey]

My questions for you:

1. What's the distance you're working with?
2. What's it about the parents that's keeping you apart?

The distance of our relationship is really far away...I'm livin' in ze America..you know,the place where ze munkey fo ze puresidente.xD jkjkjk...got tht from a friend.Well,anywayz,I do live in America and he lives all the way in Thailand,Bangkok.T_T

And no,my parents approve since they talked to his parents.=] Super cool!!!x3

@ xMyStIcShAd0wSx: And no,it's NOT the same.He might be cheating on me,but I dunno...he seems really honest,and I bet his parents kept him this way.So I'm not sure...and we are at a close relationship cuz we suggested to each other that we are gonna be bf/gf when he gets back over here with me.He's a international student from JP to Thailand,BTW.

@ JakeKKing: I'm trying to give him clues of what I'm lying about,he'd noticed most of it,yet OKI.He said he won't mind...but I still think it's wrong.I have nothing but NON self-esteem...T_T I tried to say yes...but then again,staying single and being cared by him is not a bad thing.You are right,I should tell him all the things about me,and be truthful about it.Shouldn't be lying this way,I'll feel worse than ever (if I do)...= =

[*Uronacid*]

The distance of our relationship is really far away...I'm livin' in ze America..you know,the place where ze munkey fo ze puresidente.xD jkjkjk...got tht from a friend.Well,anywayz,I do live in America and he lives all the way in Thailand,Bangkok.T_T

And no,my parents approve since they talked to his parents.=] Super cool!!!x3

@ xMyStIcShAd0wSx: And no,it's NOT the same.He might be cheating on me,but I dunno...he seems really honest,and I bet his parents kept him this way.So I'm not sure...and we are at a close relationship cuz we suggested to each other that we are gonna be bf/gf when he gets back over here with me.He's a international student from JP to Thailand,BTW.

@ JakeKKing: I'm trying to give him clues of what I'm lying about,he'd noticed most of it,yet OKI.He said he won't mind...but I still think it's wrong.I have nothing but NON self-esteem...T_T I tried to say yes...but then again,staying single and being cared by him is not a bad thing.You are right,I should tell him all the things about me,and be truthful about it.Shouldn't be lying this way,I'll feel worse than ever (if I do)...= =

Thailand... omg, that's really far... Oo

[ChibiLovey]

hihi...yup!^^- But it's OKI.Thanks a lot for the advices,though.I'll try to work it out with him.=]

[ChibiLovey]

That pretty much made no sense to me. Haha.

Listen, if you both lied to eachother give it up. Tell him what you lied about, but don't go back out with him. If you think it's gonna hurt you in the long run, then don't bother. How old are you anyway? Listen, he's just some kid...there's more out there. Don't make a big deal out of something that doesn't have to be. Just tell youself....why make a big deal about something I can't control? If he wants you back, and you say yes..then so be it. It's your choice. THink for yourself sometimes. I know you come on here to get advice, but most of it is common sense.

I thought abt it,and I dont agree wit this.And I'm 13,he's 14.And I'm not like other sissies out there that chase guys like crazy,and get with whichever I want and dump them.That's not me at all...and when I love someone,no one can stop me except for him [who will make the decisions].I don't make big deal about it,I'm just saying that it's not right.And yes,it is my choice to get back with him,and since lying to him doesn't seems right,then I won't bother doing it anymore.

[multifaceted]

^ Please do not double post Aishiteru&Daisukidayo. (Whoa! That's a long username. I'll just call you A&D) Next time, edit your post (unless you're like me and the edit link doesn't work...)

Even though you posted here for advice, you should really go with your guts. We don't know what right or wrong or what's going to happen and we can't tell you which is the right or wrong way to handle the situation.

So did you take him back or dump him or are you still pondering on the idea of getting back together?

America... Thailand... That's really called a LONG LONG LONG distant relationship.

[ChibiLovey]

haha....sorry,cuz I posted something,then thought of changing it cuz he doesn't feel comfortable me putting up his pic.xDD So I erased most of it.That's why.^^;;;; And I tried to explain and solving by my own,but our relationship doesn't go so well these days.= = Anyways,we're still together,he said he'll be stopping at my place in Spring Break,for 2 weeks!!!x3 xP Me scare...T_T And yesh,it ish.That's why we're grieving for each other.My friends said long distant relationship doesn't work,but I AM trying to PROVE that it does work!!!!!!WAH~!xc And it's gonna happen!!><

[KissMe2408]

If it makes you feel better my boyfriend is in Scotland and i'm in the states, and we've made it work since September.

I'm sure it can work out.

But please, try to stop lying to him about yourself. It really doesn't help the situation. The relationship isn't really healthy if you have to lie so much, and you want him to really know YOU, and I don't think he really does. So again, try to stop.

good luck!

[ChibiLovey]

I'm honest now...and he's starting to take advantage of it and is trying to lie to me.T___T For VDAY,I feel cheated already.The more I do something nice,he always make me cry...and it doesn't feel that loving anymore.But since he's sensitive,I'm waiting for him to break up with me.I would be glad to,cause I don't want to continue what we have right now,NOT AT ALL.- - It's just that:
1)I get jealous easily [I mean,who doesn't?] && don't want to be,cause I can imagine him being chase by other thousand girls,so yeah..even heard them through the telephone.= =
2)Moving on would be nice...
3)And no girls nor guys want to be cheated on in relationships [or do they???]
4)I don't want to hurt anyone,including myself.So the best way is wanting him to break up,not me.

And really,I really stopped the whole lying things.And when I thought of starting a new and improve relationship,it gets worse & worse.I dunno what to do.Asking my other guy friends and they said the same thing: "Follow what your heart tells you..." And other girls say: "Oh,you're dumb enough to let him cheated on you and then break up with you!I see how it is."

OMGSH!I'm so frickin tire of this...T___T I cried so badly thinking about it.He promised he won't hurt me anymore,but guess that promise is gone...- -

[*mishyerr*]

The best advice: get over him. I used to be in an abusive relationship. He promised me he'd change; he NEVER did. If you're in middleschool, I realize that your relationship seems like this HUUUUGE, important thing, but it's not. Sorry :/

It's best to let go.

[ChibiLovey]

I'll probably try.Thankies!=]

And yesh,you are kinda right.Relationships that start in middle schools are really important.Well,to us.So I'll try,not sure if it's gonna work or not.= =