Daddy Options

[smileeetina]

One last chance.

[*My Cinderella.*]

Wow, you've had it hard. I'm sorry to hear that. I know it must be frustrating for you to have him trying to change now...but I'm not going to suggest anything. If you don't feel right doing it, then don't. But if you do want to give him a chance, talk to him about what you've been through, how it's made you feel. Communication may help. Good luck.

[liklibo]

That is terrible! D:
I hope things work out for you. You should just go with your instincts.

[Kontroll]

Yeah, my dad was a drunk too. I only know that because he changed when I was born. The only thing you can do is forgive him. I know it's hard, but if you hold a grudge against him your relationship is going to be screwed up. I'm sure you might not care the least right now, but down the road.... you will. HE's your damn father. [Josh, shut up]...At least you have one. HAHA. Sorry. I know that's not fair, but at least you do. Drunk or not. At least he can change while he's alive, you know? If he is willing to, then let him. Don't doubt him. Be optimistic and help him out. Hope it goes well. If you have anymore questions just PM or something. Peace. HAHAHAHA. Sorry about that... It was pretty unfair. Haha.

[*Uronacid*]

He's a fu/king drunk. Talks nonesense like he knows everything. Truthfully, I can't stand him. I get good grades, clean the whole house when I get home, never asked for money or to go out late. I got a job on my own. And He comes home, criticize everything. Says that I don't know anything. WHAT THE HECK. He never says sorry for his damn mistakes. When I was little he was a abusive drunk. Stopped the day he went to jail. & on new years day I called the cops on him. (Don't wanna say why.) After fifteen years of his bullshit, now he's trying ot CHANGE? NOW?! Fifteen years of is criticism and mental-verbal-physcial abuse, he's trying to change now?! I'm leaving this house when I'm 18. And I know forsure he can't make up the next 3 years for the fifteen years of bullshit.

But I don't know, in the back of my mind, I think that I should give him the chance.
But I'm scared that I might regret it.

Well, I'm sorry your life has been horrible. On the other hand, if he is willing to change. It's better that it happens now instead of never. If you are asking us why he decided to change.

I think you should take him to a family psychiatrist (His health insurance may cover it). That way you can both talk about your issues and you make him realize why you are so upset. He may realize how much of a horrible person he had been, and understand why he has to change. You may see it from his perspective and understand why he is finally deciding to change.

If he does truly change you will regret harboring a grievance against your father.

P.S. You don't have to wait until you are 18 to move out of the house. If things to make a turn for the better, I would suggest trying to get emancipated. You should talk to Dianna(a painefull euphoria). She did this, and it worked out pretty well. All you have to do is find a job that pays you enough money so you can support yourself. It's a lot of work, but if you're determined you can easily do it.

[smileeetina]

P.S. You don't have to wait until you are 18 to move out of the house. If things to make a turn for the better, I would suggest trying to get emancipated. You should talk to Dianna(a painefull euphoria). She did this, and it worked out pretty well. All you have to do is find a job that pays you enough money so you can support yourself. It's a lot of work, but if you're determined you can easily do it.

I would get emancipated but, I have 2 little sisters. I want to stick around for them. But when I'm 18, I'm planning on taking them out alot or having them stay with me whenever he's drunk (he's trying to stay sober right now, I'm trying to see how long is lasts). But whatever's best.

[*Uronacid*]

I would get emancipated but, I have 2 little sisters. I want to stick around for them. But when I'm 18, I'm planning on taking them out alot or having them stay with me whenever he's drunk (he's trying to stay sober right now, I'm trying to see how long is lasts). But whatever's best.

You should encourage him to join AA.

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

im sorry that you had a rough childhood if in the back of your mind you think that you should give your father a chance then just give him a chance to change. Unless he has promised you 10 times he was going to change and he hasnt then its pretty hard to trust him to change. I know its difficult for you to think that he will be able to change all the damage he has done in just 3 years but you never know he could actually make a life changing experience and its better to have your family close then never having them at all. Most people who get drunk have serious problems, so maybe your father has family problems or childhood issues. Tell your father if he really wants to change, he should go to AA meetings and go to a phsyciatrist (sp?) and all of you can go to family meetings so you can improve the home life. Its very noble of you to protect your sisters, i hope your father does change and you can have a stable family home with no violence

[maximelids]

Hey I understand how you feel, I had a stormy past too.

My dad was an Elite Commando in the French army. He joined the army as a human and he left the army as a monster. He was trained to kill and forget about his family.
He had an accident and had to leave the army. He came home to my mother and he caused so many problems for her. He was a totally changed man for the worse.
He niglated my mother, beat her and drank a lot too.
My mother was a brave woman to stay on with him for so many years. Each time she told herself that he would change. Each time she licked her wounds and wished for the best.
2 kids and many years later, my mother gave up. She divorced him and left with me and my sister, back to Singapore.

The thing is that we went through hell. Each time, we told ourselves that he would change for the better. But he did not. Since we left him, he has changed a lot.
He is with my step-mom now, he calls me once every few years..

It always takes something dramatic in life to change a person.
I don't beleive that someone can change without something dramatic happening in life.
The dramatic thing that changed my dad is when we left. After that, then he reliased the importance of family. We gave him so many chances but he blew it.
Frankly, I would accpet my Dad back, if one day he asks to be. Because it's him that gave me life. He might have been a horrible man, but he still is my dad after-all.
I have learned over the years to accept him for what he is. He might not be the best dad in the world, but still I feel the connection with him. I do write to him e-mails. Tough he never replies, at least I know that I tired my best to keep in contact with him, so I regret NOTHING at all.

If I was you, I would tell this to my dad.
'For years I have stuck with your bullshit. I am willing to forgive you. I am giving you a last chance to change. If you blow this chance, you will never see me again when I walk out of this door!'
Since he said he is willing to change, give him the chance. You might never know, he might change for the better. But make sure this is the last chance!
If you do leave the house, please don't keep this matter as a burden in your heart, because it was for your own good.

I wish you all the best!
Max

[smileeetina]

I love all your replies, thanks for the help.
Thanks Max & Uronacid.

[*Uronacid*]

I love all your replies, thanks for the help.
Thanks Max & Uronacid.

Hey, no problem ;]

[maximelids]

You are most welcome!
I wish you all the best!

Max