CHANCES, love note's CB version 1.1 Options

[rockmyx]

l want to share a story or more correctly, a letter that came form Dianne. After you guys read it, try to give some advice and l'll make sure Dianne will read it. Its a very, very long letter ^__^




CHANCES



Synopsis

"...he was feeling guilty that he was taking me for granted. He said his actions were unreasonable. It really hurts Joe that I was being forced to let him go even if I didn't want to. And the thought that maybe he doesn't love me anymore was too much for me to bear..."





Story

Dear Joe,


I had a boyfriend for four and a half years and I decided to end it not because I didn't love him anymore but because I had to make a decision about my future. Our relationship has been through all kinds of weather and I can say that I've survived throughout the years. He quit school, he was a womanizer, a drinker and he even went into drugs but still I stood by him. I guess, I grew tired of waiting…waiting for him to change . I had wished that someone would come my way and save me from this man whom I could have no future with. Until one day, my prayers were answered. I saw Rico at the hospital where I was working. We were both medical representatives from two different drug companies. I liked him immediately but that was all. I didn't expect for anything more than knowing him. I didn't know his name until my friend introduced me to him. We were not close but we would smile at each other and say hello every time our paths crossed. One day , we accidentally bumped into each other outside the doctor's clinic and we had the chance to talk. He said he resigned from his company. I was so disappointed for I know that I would never see him again. I remembered what my friend told me, not to let an opportunity pass. So when he invited me to come with him to the


mall I accepted it. We went to see a movie even if I was still going steady with my boyfriend.

Valentine's day came fast approaching then and he invited me for a date. He asked me if my boyfriend still calls me and visits me and then I said " I thought you knew ?" We had a misunderstanding, Joe. I thought he knew that I still have a boyfriend but he thought we just broke up. I still accepted the invitation, Joe. I thought it will be a great opportunity for me to get to know him better. We went out on Valentines day and that's when I knew I was falling for him. I suddenly got the courage to end my relationship with my boyfriend. I thought to myself that I deserve someone better that I too have the right to be happy. He opened my eyes Joe. That I should give myself a chance to be with the right person. I believed I have found it in him. I broke up with my boyfriend the next day. I felt relieved but I also felt sad that I had to let go of a relationship I have nurtured for four and a half years. I stayed strong because I had to make a decision and that decision was for the best. I worry a lot about what the future will hold for me. He cannot be the one who can fill my needs. I know he loves me so much and I share the same feelings with him but I knew that love alone cannot make you happy.

I gave Rico a chance. He eventually became my boyfriend. Months passed and we were happy together. Though we only see each other once or twice during the weekend because we both have work, my love for him grew with each passing day. I was so proud of him because he was doing well with his job. I felt so blessed to be his girlfriend. He was extremely the opposite of my ex. And that was what I wanted. I love him so much Joe. He became very busy with his work but I was very understanding. It was this kindness that led him to drift away from me. I wasn't aware that I was starting to lose him. He felt guilty that he cannot return my affection. He said he can't go on to see me hurting because he cannot fulfill his responsibilities as my boyfriend. He cannot balance his time between me, his family which is his very first priority and his work. He said he needed time to fix himself. Joe, I never demanded anything from him. If his family is his priority for now I respect that because that is how it should be. I was trying to work things out with him by coming to a resolution where both of us can be happy without breaking up. I said I understand and that I am willing to sacrifice. But what is the use of trying to save our relationship when he is giving up and not wanting me to stay. He was feeling guilty that he was taking me for granted. He said his actions were unreasonable. It really hurts Joe that I was being forced to let him go even if I didn't want to. And the thought that maybe he doesn't love me anymore was too much for me to bear. He doesn't love me Joe and I felt it but I was too scared to admit it. He came to me Joe, and now he is asking me to leave him. What have I done wrong?

It's been two weeks now after the break up. He still calls me. At one phone call, he said that he misses me. Why is he pretending to still care for me Joe? Why can't he just tell me the truth that he doesn't feel the same anymore that's why he chose to let me go? Why is he giving me false hopes when I know that he is never coming back?

Joe, I feel I cannot love anymore. Not after two unsuccessful relationships. I have tried my best but it seems it wasn't enough. What's wrong with me? The only thing I did was love. Did I love too much? Was I too kind and understanding? Is that what made it all wrong? Is that what made him walk away?

Joe, until now I am still hoping that he would someday come back to me. He said he just needed time….I do hope that that's just what he needs….and I hope he still loves me…even if I don't feel it….I just wish that deep down inside of him he still cares…

Diane

[*Uronacid*]

He doesn't love me Joe and I felt it but I was too scared to admit it. He came to me Joe, and now he is asking me to leave him. What have I done wrong?

You are jumping to conclusions. It's pretty clear that he still likes you, but doesn't have enough time to be in a relationship at the moment. Sounds like he feels guilty because you are always there for him and can fulfill his emotional needs, but he cannot always be there to fulfill yours. This is not your fault.


It's been two weeks now after the break up. He still calls me. At one phone call, he said that he misses me. Why is he pretending to still care for me Joe?

Probably because he's telling the truth. He probably does care, and like he said he feels like he isn't able to fulfill your needs. All of this is because he cares.

Why can't he just tell me the truth that he doesn't feel the same anymore that's why he chose to let me go?

Yeah, if that was the truth... but it sounds like it's not. It sounds like he is making a mature decision.

Why is he giving me false hopes when I know that he is never coming back?

This isn't good, he may not realize that he's doing that... you should tell him how you feel. Most problems are solved with good communication.

What's wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong with you. What's happening to you isn't uncommon... although you do seem emotionally needy. A relationship needs balance, both members need to equalize the amount of emotional space that they take up. You seem to show a lot of signs pertaining to an emotionally needy person. Therefore you might take up a lot of this emotional space without realizing it.

here's a good article about this subject:
http://womentodaymagazine.com/relationships/space.html

Did I love too much? Was I too kind and understanding? Is that what made it all wrong? Is that what made him walk away?

Like I said, you keep asking these types of questions which leads me to think that you are an emotionally needy type person. You may be overwhelming him or making him feel guilty because he isn't physically able to give you what you give him.

Joe, until now I am still hoping that he would someday come back to me. He said he just needed time….I do hope that that's just what he needs….and I hope he still loves me…even if I don't feel it….I just wish that deep down inside of him he still cares…

He said that he needs time... this is another sign that he may just feel overwhelmed by your emotional needs in a relationship. He may just feel as if he doesn't have his space.

P.S. You hope, you don't wish... ;] I wish you the best of luck

[rockmyx]

^

what if Rico sent Dianne signals that quietly conveyed his intentions. Dianne were just probably too blinded by her affection for him that she missed out on the tell-tale signs that he doesn’t feel the same way for her anymore.

what do you think?

[*Uronacid*]

^

what if Rico sent Dianne signals that quietly conveyed his intentions. Dianne were just probably too blinded by her affection for him that she missed out on the tell-tale signs that he doesn’t feel the same way for her anymore.

what do you think?

How could I ever find out? If Dianne doesn't know then how is she going to tell me? What are Rico's intentions? The only one who would know is Rico himself. If assume his intentions I am just as bad as Dianne. I would be jumping to conclusions.