Supposed to or not? Options

[skillxz]

Hey, Just wonderin about a few things.

First off, if you're together, it a given that you guys are supposed to hang out n' lunch n' all, or could hangin around all happen afterschoo, and in class, and on times out n' stuff? I'm just not sure she'd feel confortable hangin out with all my friends at lunch, and mabey vice versa.

Also, when you 2 are riding together in a car n' stuff..and you're just driving and sorta mindless at the moment, or just thinking, or looking around just concentrating on driving, and its quiet between you two for awhile, is that considered sorta uncomfortable for her or you? I mean iono, any second of quietness seems sorta uncomfortable for me, like im thinkin of something to say or cuz of me thinking they think I have nothing to say.

Thanks in advance.

[michellerrific]

At school, i guess it's normal not to always sit together at lunch or anything. I see people who are in relationships and they don't sit with their bf/gf at lunch. For your second question, it depends what kind of person you are i guess. To some, they can't stand silence but if both of you are sort of shy then maybe it's not as bad. I would at least try to make some conversation though.

[unconfirmed_exis...]

It depends on the couple.
Sometimes for couples they perfer to go
about their lives like it always been
so they don't hang out with their
signifigant other and it works out fine with them.
For my past exs I actually perfered
my life to go the way it's always been.

On the other hand there are couples that
a lot of things together and hang out
together almost everywhere who like being around each other a lot.
( That's my current relationship in a nutshell!)

As for silence. Same deal, depends on the people involved.
But usually silence is awkward.. I don't mind it so much
since I'm just happy being with the person but seeing that
it bothers you, try and liven things up by saying a thing or two.

Whatever works out and makes it more natural
for the couple should be fine. There is no
correct answer/method for going about
the situations you mentioned.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

It's not like now that you two are together you are commited to spending every waking moment you can with her. If you dont feel like being with her that day, then don't. Just make sure you go and say hello, give her a hug and/or kiss and then say you'll call or see her later.
But dont neglect her SO much.

Turn the music up really loud in cars, as an excuse not to talk. Its normal to feel a little awkward and at a loss for conversation topics when first together, because you're still feeling out the boundaries with her and everything. After a while, it'll just start to flow with simple things like how was your day and such. Soon, when you get comfortable with her the silence wont be so much as awkward, but comforting to know that you dont need to speaking every moment to enjoy eachothers company

[espressive]

First off, if you're together, it a given that you guys are supposed to hang out n' lunch n' all, or could hangin around all happen afterschoo, and in class, and on times out n' stuff? I'm just not sure she'd feel confortable hangin out with all my friends at lunch, and mabey vice versa.

Also, when you 2 are riding together in a car n' stuff..and you're just driving and sorta mindless at the moment, or just thinking, or looking around just concentrating on driving, and its quiet between you two for awhile, is that considered sorta uncomfortable for her or you? I mean iono, any second of quietness seems sorta uncomfortable for me, like im thinkin of something to say or cuz of me thinking they think I have nothing to say.

No, you don't have to. Though if you want, you could go go during the last 5 minutes and kinda meet with her friends/walk her to class. That'll allow time with friends without completely ignoring her. This method has been tested and proved to work.

I like some quiet moments, but if you find it really awkward, turn on the radio. Music kills the silence.

[*Uronacid*]

Hey, Just wonderin about a few things.

First off, if you're together, it a given that you guys are supposed to hang out n' lunch n' all, or could hangin around all happen afterschoo, and in class, and on times out n' stuff? I'm just not sure she'd feel confortable hangin out with all my friends at lunch, and mabey vice versa.

Also, when you 2 are riding together in a car n' stuff..and you're just driving and sorta mindless at the moment, or just thinking, or looking around just concentrating on driving, and its quiet between you two for awhile, is that considered sorta uncomfortable for her or you? I mean iono, any second of quietness seems sorta uncomfortable for me, like im thinkin of something to say or cuz of me thinking they think I have nothing to say.

Thanks in advance.

1. Dateing someone doesn't mean you have to be fused to that individual 24/7. In fact, it's good to have some space in your relationship so you can keep your individuality. If you enjoy sitting with your friends, then sit with your friends. If you are worried that she might think you're avoiding her, then go say hello to her every once and a little while and make sure she doesn't feel as if you are trying to ignore her.

2. Don't worry about it. You can't expect that you will always have something to say. Sometiems you just have times where you're both quiet. There's nothing wrong with that. Why don't you ask her what's on her mind, and just listen? If she's got nothing on her mind at the moment then don't worry about it. Just enjoy her company.

[MarcoDeSanctis]

I used to have a girlfriend who's friends hated my friends, and vice versa. We personally didn't mind each others' friends, and they didn't mind us, but we decided not to sit together cuz it'd be awkward and unfair for the rest.

[skillxz]

Hey guys, I must say, Thanks a LOT for all your insanely quick responses...they really helped me understand what was normal and what wasn't, and set me on the right path.

You guys pretty much cleared up what I already thought with both questions, but through that, a few more popped up, I hope you dont mind. :P

But anyway, regarding the first, if we first got together, would a girl EXPECT to see me and sit with me the next day, or is that something we would have to work out?

And in regards to silence, dont get me wrong now, We talk a LOT..and I really mean a lot. In the car the music is ALWAYS on and we talk, but of course we can't keep the convo going 24/7..so I was just unsure if a few moments of silence was normal.

This therefore goes into other areas as well, such as just walking around, or hanging out with her. Do we always have to be talking, or can i just be holding her hand walking to school? Does a girl enjoy simply my company and the fact that im with her? Speaking of which, does she want me to hold her hand and openly hug her n' stuff?

As you can see I'm sorta inexperienced and insecure about a few things, I really appreciate your advice, really!

[*Uronacid*]

1:But anyway, regarding the first, if we first got together, would a girl EXPECT to see me and sit with me the next day, or is that something we would have to work out?

2:And in regards to silence, dont get me wrong now, We talk a LOT..and I really mean a lot. In the car the music is ALWAYS on and we talk, but of course we can't keep the convo going 24/7..so I was just unsure if a few moments of silence was normal.

3:Do we always have to be talking, or can i just be holding her hand walking to school?

4:Does a girl enjoy simply my company and the fact that im with her?

5:Speaking of which, does she want me to hold her hand and openly hug her n' stuff?

1. I doubt it, but the best way to know for sure is to ask her. I think the best thing would be to do what you would normally do. Sit with your friends, and like on of the other members said, "Catch up with her on the last five minutes of lunch if you feel uneasy about it."

2. Moments or silence are normal.

3. No, you don't have to do either. The most important thing is that you be yourself. If you like holding her hand, then hold her hand. If you like talking to her, then talk to her. Most girls like their boyfriends to be comfortable around them. I would suggest you do whatever you feel most comfortable doing.

4. Most do.

5. Some do and some don't. I dated a girl who hated PDA (Public Display of Affection), and I dated a girl who loved it. The best thing you can do is ask her.

[skillxz]

so is that What you did in all those situations, just asked her? Or did it just happen..i guess?

And when you get into a relationship, exactly how are you getting into each others lives? Could it really be your normal life style you were having before, but just with someone new to hang around with and confide in, or is there alot more to it?

[multifaceted]

is this your first relationship? and how old are you? (i'm thinking over 17 cause you drive)

i suggest that at first the relationship suppose to be along the lines of someone new to hang around. then as you two get into each other and really start wanting to go further then go. but at least have 6 months of just hanging out and holding hands and kisses on the cheek.. and then if the relationship does last, then move forward.

don't be like my friends who in 1 month were on base 4... not so good. girls don't like to rush into a intense sexual relationship (unless she was my friend who'll f*** anyone)

with the awkward quietness, it is okay. some girls don't like small talk or a guy who talks more than her or a guy that keeps talking and doesn't shut up.

with the PDA, don't ask. if she makes the first move towards that then it is ok just don't take it too far. usually girls don't like to PDA.

[skillxz]

yup, it is, and you're right.

And be how would a relationship change each others lives, I didn't really mean sexually, that I have the picture on how it goes, but more of I duno, how much devotion and time should I expect paying to her. Does she expect a call or two everyday, or what if sometimes im just feelin like shit or have lots to do, and just don't get a chance to talk to her, does that go by weird to her, like, hmm...he hasn't talked to me or anything at all?

And of PDA, girls usually don't like it? I always thought they did, and thought it was sweet if a guy came out and actually hugged held hands, kissed (just sensual/onthecheak/peck). Would they be embarrassed? Don't they like being shown affection in public?

[*Uronacid*]

so is that What you did in all those situations, just asked her? Or did it just happen..i guess?
I learned from mistakes and experience... Most girls like you to figure it out on your own. It's like they expect you to know what they are thinking, and it's really frustrating. Best thing you can do is do what you think is best, take a mental note when you mess up, and if you're unsure ask.


And when you get into a relationship, exactly how are you getting into each others lives?

What do you mean by this?


Could it really be your normal life style you were having before, but just with someone new to hang around with and confide in, or is there a lot more to it?

Of course you can live your normal life style! Relationships are about changing yourself for someone else. That will just send you down the "road of regret". In fact, many people who change to much in a relationship for to long forget who they were. I did this with my first girlfriend. The more I analyze my first relationship, the more I realize that I was always trying to fit myself into her life. I was changing for her, and when we broke up I didn't even know what I enjoyed anymore. She said yes (to dating you) because she like what she saw right? So, keep being yourself.

Does she expect a call or two everyday, or what if sometimes im just feelin like shit or have lots to do, and just don't get a chance to talk to her, does that go by weird to her, like, hmm...he hasn't talked to me or anything at all?

Well, if it is a routine thing that you talk everyday. Just give her a quick call and tell her so she doesn't feel like you're taking it out on her.

And of PDA, girls usually don't like it? I always thought they did, and thought it was sweet if a guy came out and actually hugged held hands, kissed (just sensual/onthecheak/peck). Would they be embarrassed? Don't they like being shown affection in public?

Depends on the girl, some do (some like a lot of attention) and some don't. If you're really confused about something it's best to either:

1. Do it when it feels natural, and get scolded if she doesn't like it (some girls like it when you do risky things)
2. ask her, she should tell you... and if she likes it she'll say something like, "do it and you'll find out."

[skillxz]

You and everyone has been worlds of help, thank you for persisting along and giving advice, definitely much appreciated! Thanks.