it's a love/hate relationship, with my "best" friend. Options

[voguelove]

alright, this story is gonna be long. please bear with me.


i have a friend named monica. i met her in 4th grade at an orchestra..thing. we became friends and then later became best friends. end of story? no.

just a few weeks ago, while we were talking on the phone (she likes to over analyze. a lot.) she randomly tells me that she thought of something. that there isn't a such thing as 2 best friends and that three is a crowd. literally. (me, monica, and this other girl..tanya are like the 3 musketeers.) so what she just said pretty much has made our friendship a hypocrisy. (considering that i thought we had been bff's with all three of us since 6th grade.) and now that she's said this..she's been so much of a bitch towards me. for example, on her myspace..ynderneath her heros, it says not YOU. (meaning not me.) she has her own area on her "about me" area to show how much tanya is much more of a bff than me. (with pictures and memories included.) and now, she has a new friend at work named amanda..she doesnt hardly even talk to me. (yes, i know it may seem like a jealousy thing..and it is..but that's not why im upset.) whenever monica, tanya and i hang out..she's always NOT including me. like, she'll laugh about inside jokes that are only between them or laugh about something that i was included in..but just say that i wasnt even there. it's like..wtf. i have feelings, too. and she loves to boast about her grades and ask me AP history questions knowing that i dont know them because i take regular history. oh, anddd..she told me at the same time..that she hates when tanya and i hang together with her because she's noticed that tanya tends to stay on my side because we hardly see each other besides for school. yea, okay.
edit- and she also loves whispering things thinking that i can hear or something. and the funny thing is..i CAN hear her. i was at a birthday party the other day and laying on my friends leg..and was like, "ow. this is hurting my boobs." and she goes, "what boobs?" like..really softly. and i know that my boobs are AA but it doesnt matter. ALL BOOBS HURT WHEN THEY ARE DEVELOPING. hm, and this one time at the movie thaeters..she was staring at me like she wanted to stab me so i asked her why she was staring and she just looked away and whispered, "bitch." WTF. i didnt do anything.

but, then..some days..she'll be the best friend that i always had. telling me that im her favorite or thanking me for letting her borrow money..or laughing with me and doing things that bff's should be doing. ITS LIKE SHES GOT 2 f**king PERSONALITIES.

i just want to "break up" with her but i cant. if i lose her, then i lose tanya. i know she'll do it. tanya is like..a follower. whatever monica does, she does. and without monica, i literally lose all connections of friendsip.

and trust me, i've talked to her about this. she understands during our "talk sessions," but then goes right being a bitch later on.


GAH. i dont know what to dooo.. and i dont want to be frustrated with her anymore.


and yes, ive noticed that my grammer is a bit off and im starting my sentences the same..but i'm just venting. hopefully, it makes sense. =]

[Intercourselyts]

I think the best thing for you to really do is to just leave her. You need to throw a bowl full of reality in her face though. I think you should talk to Tayna about the whole situation and ask her for her opinion on it all and ask her how she feels about how Monica and how shes going about herself. I know how you feel though, although you should be able to tell that shes kind of using you. I think you should just tell her how it is and that she needs to learn how to be a better person and that you can have as many best friends as your heart desires. Tell her what your new opinion is of her so she knows how she hurts people. She may feel bad but its a life lesson she needs to learn, and if she doesn't bother to listen then shes stuck up and to selfish to listen to others.

In my opinion I think if Tayna really enjoys being your friend and you tell her what Monica is doing to you then perhaps she'll stay with you as a friend.

Its life though, I think you need to go get a new best friend Maggie.

[*x0htheMYSTERY*]

OMG. that sounds so familar to me. and it is also with a girl named monica. how crazy is that? haha. well, if yu and tanya are good friends, u guys wuldnt lose each other. kuh`s me and my friend monica ( was my bff since early elley school ) . she also started being a bitch towards me, like she kept leaving me for other people. and she kept like annoying me with all these nonsense, and that later turned to hate. but like, my other friend, who was her close friend, who talks to her more, but she is still my friend. so yu prolly wont lose yur friend tanya. then just tell tanya about this.. she`ll understand, and if she doesnt.. then she isnt that good of a friend.

[***Lucy**]

Find a new friend.
She really doesn't sound like a nice person at all.
My younger cousin used to have a friend that was like Monica. My cousin's friend used my cousin only when their third friend wasn't with them.

So just leave her and find new friends .

[HakunaMatata]

Maggie, this happens, and just...let it work itself out. I think eventually you two will seperate, but really, I've had "best friends" "break up" with me before, it sucks for a while, but you find other people.

And also, have you talked to Tanya about this, too?

[miiichellley]

she doesn't seem nice at all despite those 'best friends' moments. who knows? they could just be for show. your 'friendship' is kinda on the verge and sooner or later it'll be over. find a new friend who actually cares and won't become jealous when you hang out with their friends.

[AKAsuperconn]

I had a friend like that once
but yours seems worse by alot.
sometimes you just need to suck it up and straight up ask her...
say something like...

"You know im trying really hard to stay friends with you but you keep pushing me away.
if you dont want to be my friend anymore then just tell me so .... "

thats what i said to my old best friend ...
it was hard, but it helped me to move on and get new friends.

im reallly sorry, i know what its like to have someone close to you for so long kick you out.

i hope everything works out.
and i hope my advice helped

[Kontroll]

Put her in her spot. But you can't make some one like you. I had a friend who said he didn't want to be friends cause I called him gay infront of his mom. So, whatever. Just go for the ride. If it truely is getting you that mad, then deal with it. Stop sitting on your arse and typing to us and move and build or destroy.