im 16 years old and pregnant, i dunno what to do, advice please :'( Options

[sky in heaven]

I beacame member here to share my problem with sb.
I'm 16 years old and i got pregnant. My boyfriend forced me to have sex and refused to use a condom.
Now, I'm pregnant and i really dunno what to do.
I don't wanna get an abortion.
But i just can't imagine how my life will be with a baby.
I'm too young to be a mother.
i doubt if a teenager is able to raise and take care of a child.
My bf left me right after i told him. My parents will kick me out of the house if they find out.
I'm desperate.
Please, if anyone has been thru the same thing or knows a girl that has, give me advice.
I' need to talk to someone who has been in the same place but i imagine that there's not any girl who has really given birth to a child at such a young age. anyway..
i want to take some advice. thank u for reading my post.

please help me.

[littleswallow]

Oh dang, you're in a terrible position right now. I'm not going to waste time reprimanding you for your mistake though. I think you should tell your parents. I know you said they'll probably kick you out but it's worth a try; you will really need their support right now.

I praise you though, for not getting an abortion. But you must understand that the child you are carrying right now is your responsibility; it is the consequence of your actions. If you can't take care of the child... I guess you can put him/her up for adoption?

Don't think you are alone in this problem, cause I know people who have gone through the same situation you're experiencing right now. All of them though, decided to keep their babies.

I dunno, you don't have to follow my advice, it's just what I think. Good luck!

[BeautyInATragedy]

I'm sorry, this must be horrible for you.

If you decide to keep the baby, you might as well tell your parents since you can't hide it from them after a few months. They're your parents and you will need their support anyway. However, if you decide to get an abortion, I suggest you think about it for a long time.

I also suggest that you talk to the guy. If you were forced to do it, then hun it's rape. You should report him and while you're at it, get help from people who knows what they're doing. You can go to your school, hospital, or other places you have in your area for help.

I hope things work out for you.

[*My Cinderella.*]

You're in a tough position right now. I think you should tell your parents, tell them everything that happened and tell them what happened between you and your boyfriend. They're the ones that can help you out the most. Perhaps you can find someone else in your school whos pregnant as well or is a teen mom. Good luck, mdear.

[*kryogenix*]

DON'T GET AN ABORTION <--- click

[*a painefull euphoria*]

you need to really tell them everything that happened and really stresss that your boyfriend forced you to have sex unprotected.
it is rape.
the moment you said no [if you did]
and also if he denyed the request to wear protection can be seen as forced sex.but that is only if you were forced to still have sex with him after the fact he said no to the condom.

he is legaly responsible for what he did so not matter what hell have to pay up big time.
and if your parents decide to still throw you out regardless ofwhat they tell you,they also can be legaly responsible depending on your state. i know in some places like illinois they up-ed the age that you can get kicked out to 17/18.

good luck doll.

[*Uronacid*]

You're young, that's statutory rape even if you wanted to have sex. Your boyfriend really can't run. I know you feel like he ditched you, but if you decide to keep the baby he really has no choice other than to support it. You just have to take him to court. It sucks, but if you decide to raise the baby on your own it will be worth it. He will have to give you a percentage of his paychecks until the baby is 18 years old. That's a big help. They will probably take it directly out of his paychecks. So, he won't be able to avoid it.

You have to tell your parents... the longer you wait, the worse it's going to get. You parents aren't able to kick you out of your house until you're able to support yourself. Unless they send you to your grandparents or something.

There are plenty of services for young mothers in the US. I would suggest that you meeting with your councilor at school and ask him/her what he/she could do for you. There are training courses and programs that will show you how to be a good mother, or at least the best mother that you could possibly be.

If worse comes to worse, you can always put your baby up for adoption. There are plenty of middle class families who cannot have children and want to adopt a young child. I know you probably want to keep your baby, but it may be in your best interest to put it up for adoption.

[Blue apple]

oh, god. this's tough.
i really dunno what to tell you.
i think u should consider the option of adoption.
tell your parents. even if they kick u out of the house they have to know.
plus, u really dunno know how they will react.
i dunno sb who has been thru the same thing so i dont have any other ideas.

anyway, good luck sweetheart

[AngelinaTaylor]

Well.. good luck, mate.

P.S. You should've cut off his dick when he did that.

[***Lucy**]

i have actually been in the same situation.
Only i was thirteen. I only had my older brother who was 21.
I kept my baby and now that i'm 16 he's(my son) the most beautiful and important thing in my life.

I always wonder if im being a good mother and i think i am.

it's your decision, and since u dont wanna get an abortion, u should think adoption as a soluton.

talk to ur parents. they may change their minds. after all, they love you. i didn't have them and it was pretty tough, so just talk to them.

your boyfriend may change his mind, although he doesn't sound very nice.
anyway.
good luck

[laurie_]

i have actually been in the same situation.
Only i was thirteen. I only had my older brother who was 21.

13??

i'm a pro-lifer, so i'd keep the baby if i were you. as a child, i would much rather be adopted than non-existent. raising a child at 16 is not impossible.

[miiichellley]

Wow, i'm sorry. This is really hard for you.
First of all, this guy forced you? I hope you DO know that's rape, and it's a crime and he could be sentenced to jail for that. Good job for choosing not to get an abortion. I say you just confess up to your parents. Apparently, you're not satisfied with this baby & therefore most likely, not satisfied with the guy. If you tell your parents, i think there's a good chance they'll stick by your side. Eventually, you will need to tell your parents. This is something you just can't hide. They might kick you out, but it's worth the shot. Imagine if you never told them, what would they do then?

Anyway, i hope your boyfriend changes his opinions and such.
I wish you a lot of luck!<3

[Jeng]

what i would do is get help, tell someone, a stranger,hopsital,the police, tell your parents even if you dont want to.

[LostRenaissance]

o man... srry, yea u should talk to ur parents about it but if u dun feel comfortable i know in my school theres a teacher who u can talk to and she doesn't need to tell anyone or find a phycologiest who will break it to ur parents slowly rite now tho u need find the guy whos responsible and seriosuly talk to him he's not getting out after he done all that shit to u its his baby too but yea find someone to talk toand update us on the situaition too. k good luck, best wishes.

[*T0rmented_Soul*]

you don't want to get an abortion, but that's always a choice. Right now you are worried and stressed combining those two emotions together can be really hard and painful. I understand your point of view of how you seem to view your life in the future if the baby is born. You are limited to choices and choices you may not like. But you can't hide from them no matter how hard you try to avoid them, it's an obstacle in life you have to find the courage to overcome. I can't believe that your parents are willing to throw you out if you told them you were pregant. I mean why would they, your their daughter and they should you support you 100%. If your really terrified in telling your parents Abortion may be the best option, it's free and confidential. Don't beat yourself down, be strong, be wise, and think things through. Your head may be clouded right now, but I hope some of this advice here may open a clear view into somethinking you should do on your own. I wish you the very best and good luck.

[LostRenaissance]

hmmm i'm christian so i'm against abortion like mad... taking someone's life if u put it in a way sorta... he or she is ur own child. but its not my decision its urs so make the best out of it... (btw if u have ever seen abortion pictures... its disturbing..)

[lili29]

wow im sorry this is happeneing to you i know this girl she got pregnant at 13 and had the babygurl at 14 and she was able to do it but the difference is that she was willing but if she can do it any one can... my sister just had a baby but she's 25ish and he's so adorable babies are a blessing believe it or not ... and whatever you do do NOT get an abortion that's a human being inside of you ;it had a heart beat and all. i know how you feel becuase i once thought i was turned out i wasn't but it still scared me. you have to tetll youre parents and if it wanst willling then it's rape and you should tell the police and they'll put him in jail. if that's what you want and if not then they can at least make him pay child support. if you dont want to be a parent so young then put the baby up for adoption keep that as your last choice because if you do that you'll never see him/her again and after 9 months of pain and having the baby you love so much im sure you wouldnt want that... so yea talk to a guidance counselor from school maybe? if you're 16 then i dont think you're parents can kick you out of their house because i think that's against the law [[i think]] and if they do im sure becuase of youre age there are alot of places that will help maybe friends too??? hope this helped ooo and one more thing you'd be surprised about youre parents my mom found out something about me that i thought she was going to have a heart attack about and kick me out of my house but she didnt we had arguments for about a week and she got over it so maybe she wont reeact as bad as you think

[*kryogenix*]

wow im sorry this is happeneing to you i know this girl she got pregnant at 13 and had the babygurl at 14 and she was able to do it but the difference is that she was willing but if she can do it any one can... my sister just had a baby but she's 25ish and he's so adorable babies are a blessing believe it or not ... and whatever you do do NOT get an abortion that's a human being inside of you ;it had a heart beat and all. i know how you feel becuase i once thought i was turned out i wasn't but it still scared me. you have to tetll youre parents and if it wanst willling then it's rape and you should tell the police and they'll put him in jail. if that's what you want and if not then they can at least make him pay child support. if you dont want to be a parent so young then put the baby up for adoption keep that as your last choice because if you do that you'll never see him/her again and after 9 months of pain and having the baby you love so much im sure you wouldnt want that... so yea talk to a guidance counselor from school maybe? if you're 16 then i dont think you're parents can kick you out of their house because i think that's against the law [[i think]] and if they do im sure becuase of youre age there are alot of places that will help maybe friends too??? hope this helped ooo and one more thing you'd be surprised about youre parents my mom found out something about me that i thought she was going to have a heart attack about and kick me out of my house but she didnt we had arguments for about a week and she got over it so maybe she wont reeact as bad as you think

Pro-tip: Punctuation increases the readability of your posts.

[*WHIMSICAL 0NE*]

The school I go to has a ton of young mothers. I am by no means, comparing you to them. Regardless of what you chose to do your parents will find out and I think it's best to tell them rather than to live with that kind of guilt. Let your parents know what happened. It was rape. You were not comfortable with the situation and yet your so called boyfriend continued with his actions. It was wrong but that doesn't mean that what has happened to you is your fault. I admire you for not getting an abortion. If you have made the decision not to I suggest you stick with it.

In the end, it's your choice. You always have the option of adoption. I would strongly suggest that you tell your parents what happened and the result of it. They may not be happy but they will probably end up being your strongest support and biggest influence on the situation. They can work with your school to make special arrangements for you. (Depending on how far along you are.)

[GlecieC]

You're going to eventually have to tell your parents, but if you aren't ready yet, I would suggest going to a trustworthy adult. Maybe someone from school or someone from a clinic who knows what they're doing. You can talk to them and ask them for ideas or plans, ways of how you're going to get through this. You need all the support you need right now. You should also go to a doctor, your health is just important also. I hope everything goes well for you and I hope everyone here was a help.

[_sarcastic_]

i am so sorry this happened to you.

like what everyone else said, you have to tell your parents no matter what, they will hopefully understand. you could also seek help from your counselor at school, or a clinic or maybe just talk to your best friend.
as for that so called bf, i say you should definately press charges and make him pay for child support.

good luck

[AKAsuperconn]

my mom was 14 when she got pregnant with me and 15 when she had me.
i dont know the whole story because, ive never met her.
but dont have an abortion.
go with adoption.
im adopted and so is my sister.
if you know you cant suport the baby or just dont have time... do that.
you can choose who you want the parents to be by going through an adoption agency.
its really the best option. i promise.
sure the kid is gunna get curious about you.
im curious every day about my mom.
just keep in touch with the kid.
its called an "open adoption"
write to him/her.
tell him/her about things.
its like having a kid... with out ... "having a kid"
if that makes sence.



i really wish you the best.

[Kontroll]

You're young, that's statutory rape even if you wanted to have sex.

I think it's statutory rape if he's 18 or older. But she didn't clarify.

it is rape.
the moment you said no [if you did]

I heard some one say that it's rape after you say no three times. Whatever.

Anyway, like Josh said...you're best bet is to give it up for adoption. At least the baby has a chance to live a normal life. You're young, and you probably wouldn't be able to raise the baby, especially being a single mother. I feel your parents would understand if you told them you were forced to have sex unprotected.

Good luck.