Disgusted with yourself..., yeah.. Options

[expoised]

Have you ever done something that seemed fun and okay to do at the time, but later on regretted it so much that you're just completely disgusted with yourself?


Like... My first kiss (not counting anything before 2nd grade, lol) was a bus-dare while we were on a field trip (8th grade). The guy was okay-looking but I hardly knew him at all and I was so anxious to actually kiss somebody that I was just like "okay" and I did. We ended up making out the rest of the ride back... and the next day back in school, we resumed ignoring each other.

I really regret wasting my first kiss on something stupid like that.




There's also the fact that I'm more relaxed around guys and whenever I talk to my guy-friends, I tend to be more... not as clean as I'd like to be. And when we're talking everything's okay... we crack dirty jokes, talk about stuff that I would normally just keep quiet about. But then, when I'm alone and I'm thinking back on the day, I find myself going "Why the hell did I say that?" and being completely embarassed despite the fact that it already passed and I'm alone.


Ugh.



I'm sick of being completely disgusted by the things I do. And I keep telling myself that next time, I'll think before I act, but it never works. I'm pretty much an impulsive person and do whatever I feel like doing at the time, no matter how much I regret it later.

You ever feel this way?

[*This Confession*]

^Oh my, I just noticed something. iwas reading the whole post and then read your signature and thats my favorite song by Shiny Toy Guns. I haven't listened to them in monthss though.

So neat taste in music :flowerS;

Anyway to topic. Yes, pretty much everyone I think is going to feel that way eventually. Your going to go through some life expierence and end up regretting it so much to the point you disgust/ hate yourself.


Ah, I feel kind of sorry for your first kiss. Mine was wasted on this guy I've known my whole life that is the last person I would ever want to spend a day with or share a kiss with again. I don't know what else I could put on the internet that I wouldn't mind people knowing though. I'll have to think about it for a little while.

[SimplicityGirl]

Hmm..yeah I can relate to what you feel. Sometimes I'd think back of everything that I did and said to ppl that day, and I'd think "Now why the hell did I say/do that for?!"

I've done many many things that I didn't like myself for doing. Such as not working hard enough for school...and wasting a lot of my "firsts". Such as my first "real" boyfriend. My gosh. To this day, I still feel really annoyed and disgusted at myself for that. Not to mention feeling extremely stupid. So it was the 11th grade. And I was desperate for a boyfriend. More like....I wanted one just to see what it feels like and I guess to "prove" to myself that I can get a guy if like. Had camp during first month of school. Met this new guy. Fell for him....and didn't keep it quiet. Eventually he asked me out. Happy as hell. But then broke up after a month. Turned out that he didn't ask me out because he liked me, but because he thought it was the right thing to do to ask me because he knew how much I liked him...and also to stop me from being so clingy and annoying and sending him all these too too obvious hints. So my first relationship, if you will, was a real mess in my life. To this day, I still don't like myself for that.

Hm..my first kiss was lost in a truth or dare game. Man that was stupid. -_-". Although, me and the guy are still friends, so I guess it's not that bad. But...if I had it any other way, my first kiss definitely would NOT happned in a round of truth or dare.

I think sometimes we all do stupid things to impress other people, and to feel like we fit in or that we can do something just to "prove" to ourselves or otherwise. But I guess we have to live with our mistakes, and to learn from it.

[_sarcastic_]

i regret giving my first kiss to my ex. *shivers* he pretty much blackmailed me into kissing him, and i did which wasn't exactly a very smart thing, he turned out to be a complete air head.
i'm regretting how i gave my first 'time' so young and early in the relationship. i mean i'm not regretting that i gave it to him, since i don't mind spending the rest of my life with him

yeah, i'm like you, i'm really comfortable with my guy friends and i too tend to say things that i think i shouldn't have, and then feel completely weirded and disgusted with myself for saying those things

[adolelolz]

Ugh I know how you feel.

I totally wasted my first kiss...And my second...O_o

First one was basically a dare, like yours. Okay looking, never talked to him again. Second was with my brother's best friend, a.k.a. the biggest player alive. So he basically forgot about it the second we were no longer kissing.

Ugh.

[*suddenly she*]

i don't understand.
i'm generally impulsive, but i don't suffer from regret after anything. what's the point of looking at yourself before and being disgusted? i look back on my past, see some things that are a bit uncharacteristic of myself now, but i'm a different person. i don't make the same mistakes twice, or i try my hardest and so i don't expect more than that of myself.

doesn't that work for you guys?
if your friends make you do stuff that makes you feel bad about yourself, why are you still around them? if it's not making you a better person and it makes you feel disgusted with yourself, why are you still in that crowd?

[expoised]

^^^
I know I'm different now... But what I regret are the things that I can't take back. I regret how some of the things I've done have tainted my reputation and the way people think about me, I regret that I'll never be able to get my first kiss back, and I regret a hell of a lot more than that.

I'm not saying I think about this all day and be miserable with myself. I only think back on these things when I'm alone and there's nothing to distract my mind from wandering back to the past.

And you make it sound like I don't try changing... I DONT make the same mistake twice. I make a mistake once, then I make a different mistake, then I make another. My freaking life's a chain of mistakes. It's no use looking back at the past, but there's nothing you can do to take the first mistakes back.

[*RiC3xBoy*]

poised' date='Sep 22 2006, 9:47 PM' post='2292519']
We ended up making out the rest of the ride back

Dang, there should be more of that in California.

[BeautyInATragedy]

I regret my first kiss. I regret all my kisses/make out sessions. Heh. xD

[KissMe2408]

I def have felt that way.

I regretted going too far then I should of with certain guys. Like I was disgusted with myself. Took like a 45 min shower and kept brushing my teeth like a million times.
Regretted and disgusted with certain guys I've dated as well. There are 2 big ones that I really regret, but a whole lot of instances that I really have just been disgusted with myself about.
Though, I haven't really done anything like that in over a year, which I'm really happy about. I just was so disgusted with guys I stopped dating for a while. Waited til I was more secure with myself, and stronger.

However, I'm much better now, things are a lot different.

[Spirited Away]

Only one thing. In junior high, my friends and I were especially mean to this kid. Not that she didn't deserve it because there were a lot of things wrong with her, but I think we went to far with our taunts. I do regret the way I treated her. I wonder how she's doing now.

[Dr. Phil]

Of course, we all make mistakes! Humans are only fallible.

Dr. Phil is glad to hear you don't make the same mistakes twice, meaning you learn from your mistakes. There are a lot of people in this world that never learn from their previous mistakes and ending up making the same mistakes, which leads them to getting hurt again.

Next time you feel as if you want to do something, take a step back in your train of thought and ask yourself "Am I going to regret this later?" If you even find yourself lagging to say "no" most likely, you'll end up regretting. Tell yourself you can do this, and that you're better than this.

No one is perfect. You're not perfect. Dr. Phil is not (but, almost) perfect.

[expoised]

^^^
hahaha. Wow.... you're kinda funny.

And Dr. Phil scares me =[

[Dr. Phil]

Dr. Phil says you have no reason to be afraid of Dr. Phil!

Dr. Phil is a very friendly person, and very experienced with relationships. All sorts of relationships.

If you ever have any dillemas or problems you may have questions about, feel free to post them on here or PM Dr. Phil about it.

Dr. Phil will be more than glad to help you!

[*suddenly she*]

poised' date='Sep 23 2006, 7:42 PM' post='2293333']
^^^
I know I'm different now... But what I regret are the things that I can't take back. I regret how some of the things I've done have tainted my reputation and the way people think about me, I regret that I'll never be able to get my first kiss back, and I regret a hell of a lot more than that.

I'm not saying I think about this all day and be miserable with myself. I only think back on these things when I'm alone and there's nothing to distract my mind from wandering back to the past.

And you make it sound like I don't try changing... I DONT make the same mistake twice. I make a mistake once, then I make a different mistake, then I make another. My freaking life's a chain of mistakes. It's no use looking back at the past, but there's nothing you can do to take the first mistakes back.

i didn't mean to imply that you haven't tried to change. sorry about that...
i'm sure if you keep trying, then you won't make yourself feel funky anymore.. if people think you're a bad person and you know you're different, then who cares what they think? eventually the people who matter will notice that your reputation doesn't match up to what you actually do.

[loveTWOhateTWO]

Hmm... I feel the same way all the time. Like, I always swear... like WAY too much. I go to a Christian school, so it seems all abnormal and out of place. And in my head it seems fine, because that's in my head, not in the school. But it just makes me feel obnoxious.