My second half is missing. (break up), need help... im lost. Options

[gerrit]

This is probably a common issue for you people as you read through it in these forums. I read some past topics on how to recover from a break up. But I feel that I can only relate to each and every one up to a certain extent, so I hope you guys don’t mind me posting up my problem. It might not be as bad as some of your experiences, but it does hurts a lot.

Recently my girlfriend broke up with me. We were together for half a year or more. It was really amazing how we “clicked”. We took things quite fast, but whatever came along, we dealt with it.
In the first few months, we spent so much time together; it was unbelievable how much I loved this person. I had 2 ex-girlfriends before, and no one made me feel, like she did.
I saw her around 3 – 4 times a week, it was great.
Then I had my final exams, over a 3-week period. I told her I needed time to study and so on. So I saw her only 1 – 2 times a week. In the beginning she said it was the right thing to do, as my studies were very important.
Then she was mad and sad that I don’t have time for her. After a few days of arguing I gave in and sacrificed a lot of time, writing her a long letter, coming over at random times to give her stuff, and even ditched some friend of mine as some point of time.
We started to work things out, then, there was a period we kept fighting. But I knew in my heart she wouldn’t break up. We promised each other so much. We planed to move somewhere soon, to go to a uni together. We even looked for locations to go. I should have known that these promises were empty.
Her school started and we fought quite a lot as we didn’t see each other alot. She said she is busy all the time and needs to attend to her new school friends. But there was still love; a lot.
She sometimes forgot to reply smsed and phone calls but that was still cool.

All of a sudden, during a small fight, because I told her that I haven’t seen her in 2 – 3 weeks… and cant remember the last time I hugged her and so on, she got mad and wanted a break.
I thought this would be too serious…
I called her after a few days and said I was sorry and so on. She didn’t bother to listen.
While I was at work she broke up. I said that I still loved her, she just said: I’ sorry!
I feel that there is so much lost for me, we practically wanted to live a life together, get married maybe, but all has gone to waste now.
I seem to have a real hard time getting over her.
I cant figure out why a few weeks ago, we were as happy as could be. Then all of her sudden she said she cant juggle friend, me and school. So she decides not to love me anymore? I cant figure out why. It’s whether you make time…

I wrote her a nice email, saying that I still love her and that I can’t and don’t want to forget her. She didn’t even bother to reply. I have to force her and so on. I feel very sad, its like its not me anymore. I was so happy with her.

She doesn’t reply smses and phone calls, nothing. All of a sudden. Its like the person that loves me a few days ago hates me now. Just because her school started. And she never supported her statement.
I guess chasing after her is useless and stupid, but I cant help it. I need to stop it.
I tend to cry alot thinking about her when i go to sleep.
Everytime i hear the name, all the good memories come flashing back.
I try to hold my head high, but i feel too sad, its hard.

I usually have a quite low self-steem, and now.. its rock bottom. The only thing that keeps me up are my few good friends, the rest of my life I feel, sucks.

Maybe you guys wont understand it because it might sound like a small matter for you, but it’s really hard for me.

[Listelle]

Sweetie, of course it going to hurt. And I'm really sorry that it does. It's not fair that we can love like that and lose just as hard; it shouldn't have to happen. But it does and we just have to keep on living. I'm sorry, but I have no good or new advice. Take it one day at a time and if you ever need anyone to talk to, the whole of cB is at your fingertips.

[OhMyAnniee]

Stop calling her or smsing her or anything. Just stop communicating with her. 1) She's either getting pissed that you call so much or 2) It's heartbreaking to see your ID on her phone. If it's the 2nd one, then she'll call you after you stop calling her because she'll realize it. If it's the first one, sorry but she's just into having " her " time right now.

[BeautyInATragedy]

Eek, I'm on the same boat as you. The things that happened between you and your ex girlfriend are almost the same as with me and my ex boyfriend. I know how it feels, to look back and see those promises made. Then you face the present and go: What happened to them? What happened to forever? To tell you the truth, it's still a mystery. Anyway, those promises made, they were during the times when you two were doing great. You two were covered by a blanket of love, and formed plans and promises together. It's natural and it also hurts.
I bet she still loves you. She's not replying to your emails, calls, and text messages because she's lost, just like you not because she hates you. I doubt she can even hate you, you didn't do anything so drastic to ask for hate. She's trying to find herself, trying to find her own strength and dependance within her. I guess she just handles it in a different way. Give her time. Time mends everything, just not all.
I know you're thinking; "We were so in love, now it's like it never happened." Once again, I know how that feels. Everyday I still think of that. So I can't really tell you why this happened. If she truly loves you, then she didn't throw it all away. The memories you two made are sacred to both of you. Though it's never enough, it's still something special.
Unfortunately, you won't feel all better right away. It takes months or even years. but each day, if you help yourself, you get a little better. Just focus on the other important things in life. Such as your family, friends, school work, hobbies. I know you won't be able to get her off my mind, but at the same time, don't bring yourself down. Try to think as positive as you can and work your way up.
One day you will look back and think of your experience with her as something good. It's an experience where you learned how to love and to be loved in return. And that's one of the best feelings. Be grateful that you had that chance.

[I'm sorry it's so long.]

[*Uronacid*]

OMG, I know exactly how you feel, but I see what you did too... Look man, you shouldn't have given in to her when she wanted to spend all that time with you in the begining. You ditched your friends for your girl... that's a huge no-no... I never ditch my friends. I just tell em how it is when I need a night to talk to my Hollyann. When you have a girlfriend, you have to be yourself. It sounds to me like you gave in too much and she just took you for granted. Yeah, all that fighting is hard. Me and Holly fight (I wouldn't say fight, more like little bumps in the road) all the time, but that doesn't mean that we change who we are because of it. You changed for your girlfriend. That's bad, be yourself.

*I'll add more later... I have to goto school*

[BeautyInATragedy]

OMG, I know exactly how you feel, but I see what you did too... Look man, you shouldn't have given in to her when she wanted to spend all that time with you in the begining. You ditched your friends for your girl... that's a huge no-no... I never ditch my friends. I just tell em how it is when I need a night to talk to my Hollyann. When you have a girlfriend, you have to be yourself. It sounds to me like you gave in too much and she just took you for granted. Yeah, all that fighting is hard. Me and Holly fight (I wouldn't say fight, more like little bumps in the road) all the time, but that doesn't mean that we change who we are because of it. You changed for your girlfriend. That's bad, be yourself.

*I'll add more later... I have to goto school*

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that on my long post. I strongly agree with this.

[*Uronacid*]

*the rest*

Alright, the other thing I saw... look, you made promises to eachother that you didn't know you would be able to keep. You can't promise things when you don't know the future. You can state that you would like them to happen, but expecting things to happen is only going to hurt you more when things don't follow through. You can promise to make a call. You can promise that you will try your best, but you can't promise eachother that you will spend the rest of your live together. You don't know the future. You don't know if she will take you or granted. You don't know if you will make a huge mistake that she can't live with. There is to much that you don't know. All you can do is try your best.

I think it's lame that she didn't tell you how she was feeling about it all... It sure seems like she just left you in the dust. It's like she didn't really communitcate with you at all, and when things went sour you didn't even realize it becuase you guys weren't really talking much. Don't think that everyone is like this, and don't take this part of the relationship and apply it to everyother relationship you have. Learn from your mistakes, and don't take her mistakes to heart. The biggest thing you need to learn from this is that communication is very important.

Bring yourself back up. Pick yourself back up. Try as hard as you can. I know it's difficult, but you have to do it. The faster you do it the better you'll feel. Whatever you do, don't go back out with this girl. Don't talk to her and don't associate with her in any way shape or form until you feel confident that your feelings for her as a girlfriend are gone. You don't want to put all this stuff behind you and then have her come in and stirr up the pot all over again. Hang out with your friends, be yourself, and try your best to put it all behind you. I wish you the best of luck man. I know this is difficult, but you can't let one girl ruin your life when there are so many more that will make it richer.

[gerrit]

hey guys, thanks for the help. I will try all these things, i just need time i guess. Appreciate it!!

[*My Cinderella.*]

I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, I'm recovering from a bad break up as well. Me and my ex would've made a year on saturday...I miss him and all of that. I can't tell him how I feel, he already has a girlfriend. I guess it would help if I listened to some of the things on here as well. I know, right now you might want any chance to see her and do whatever you can--as do I. I miss him terribly. I guess all I can say if, stick to your studies, hang with your friends, and do what you have to do. It hurts me to say this myself but...don't let this girl be the reason for eternal sadness.