Breaking Down Options

[demolished]

A year ago, I was very confident about myself and to people around me. i try not to avoid people or i will miss an opportunity to meet new people. I was courageous and fought against my fear. Then, i was able to face and had fun with people. Back then, i had low self esteem and I wasn't quite comfortable socializing with people. I always felt apart from them.



This new school year, i felt different. i lose my sense of who i am. i felt a major impact from last year and this year. Something is bringing me down. i wasn't confident, or courageous anymore which means, I'm really losing myself. I don't even know my goal anymore. I feel very isolated by people and...lonely. I have trouble facing people now. I am a lot less happy from last year. Last year was a blast and all that jazz with friends.



Yeah, I am really paranoid about myself. What can I do about myself? I lived by quotes and it's not working anymore or ... I forgot these quotes.

[blacknailpolish]

A year ago, I was very confident about myself and to people around me. i try not to avoid people or i will miss an opportunity to meet new people. I was courageous and fought against my fear. Then, i was able to face and had fun with people. Back then, i had low self esteem and I wasn't quite comfortable socializing with people. I always felt apart from them.

Wait, Im confused....were you confident last year or not?

[think!IMAGINARIL...]

Well, first of all, why do you have trouble facing people?
Is it because it gets awkward and stuff?

I don't think living by quotes is a good idea. I used to do that with Jimmy Eat World song lyrics () and it was just a weird phase.

Maybe you just need time adapting to school.

Or you should try listening to good music. Like really upbeat music like.. The Postal Service and Mae and stuff like that. I dunno. Listening to music always makes me feel better.

[OhMyAnniee]

first of all, you need to forgive yourself. it doesn't matter if you don't think you did anything bad, you need to forgive yourself.

if i was in your situation, i would make a list. make a list of all the people you care about and another list of all the people who care about you. it might show you how different life has been lately.

has anything happened to you? maybe a loss? breakup? or maybe your just not sure of who you are anymore. maybe you just really want to find the real you & your purpose in life, you know?

[demolished]

Wait, Im confused....were you confident last year or not?

Yes i was.

Well, first of all, why do you have trouble facing people?
Is it because it gets awkward and stuff?

I don't think living by quotes is a good idea. I used to do that with Jimmy Eat World song lyrics ( ) and it was just a weird phase.

Maybe you just need time adapting to school.

Or you should try listening to good music. Like really upbeat music like.. The Postal Service and Mae and stuff like that. I dunno. Listening to music always makes me feel better.

I dont know. i lack certain human quality .. like, confident, self-esteem, and all these crap. It always get awkward to face people. there are people who just passed by me without saying anything. I didnt do anything. Music makes it worse ;O

first of all, you need to forgive yourself. it doesn't matter if you don't think you did anything bad, you need to forgive yourself.

if i was in your situation, i would make a list. make a list of all the people you care about and another list of all the people who care about you. it might show you how different life has been lately.

has anything happened to you? maybe a loss? breakup? or maybe your just not sure of who you are anymore. maybe you just really want to find the real you & your purpose in life, you know?

How good is forgiving yourself. I do forgive myself. Sometimes, it's not worth it.


LOL. I did analyze friends that I care since summer vacation. I don't know anyone that cares about me. I'm just "different" and "weird". I feel really behind with friends.


Nothing had happened to me, things just get ... rusty and weak. I need to break the habit of being "down" all the time.

[think!IMAGINARIL...]

I dont know. i lack certain human quality .. like, confident, self-esteem, and all these crap. It always get awkward to face people. there are people who just passed by me without saying anything. I didnt do anything. Music makes it worse ;O

If people pass by you and you know them and they don't say hi, then you should. Be a little more outgoing! Don't think about it.. Just say it!

And sometimes confidence and self-esteem aren't really "human qualities". Sometimes the lack of confidence and self-esteem is what makes you human. Do you get what I'm saying?

[blacknailpolish]

I know how you feel exactly. It was like over the summer I sudden;y and out of nowhere became shy. It helped that I was going to a new school, and I don't know if that's your situation or not, but it should still work if you're not. You just need to do some things without thinking too much about it, like rawr sock said. Say hi to people you know, and people you don't know while you're at it! And above all, dont talk yourself out if it: just take the plunge.

You mentioned that something was bringing you down...any clue what?
You also said that you don't know your goals anymore. Well, thats where you should start. I don't know what else to tell you concerning that, however, other than set some for yourself! You need to just tell yourself, "Hey, snap out of it! We all go through rough patches, its true, but after we're through moping a little bit (and everyone can use a good mope now and then), we need to move on with our lives!" Do things that you love. Be around people you love. Just get yourself out of this funk anyway you think you can. Once you cheer yourself up, other people will notice, and your confidence should return.

[demolished]

If people pass by you and you know them and they don't say hi, then you should. Be a little more outgoing! Don't think about it.. Just say it!

Believe me, i say "Hi" a million time and they will ignore it. whenever they see me, they act "blind" and avoided me. This was this "friend" who didnt make eye contact w/ me when i say, hi. Usually, my friend would look into my eyes and smile. But, it was the opposite. i notice something was changing. Yeah, i'm really sentitive about people's way of talking and looking.

And sometimes confidence and self-esteem aren't really "human qualities". Sometimes the lack of confidence and self-esteem is what makes you human. Do you get what I'm saying?

I mean, i lack the most confident and self-esteem. And, i shouldnt feel be like that.



So, do you think i should say, "hi" anyways? especially when people ignore me or whatever?

I know how you feel exactly. It was like over the summer I sudden;y and out of nowhere became shy. It helped that I was going to a new school, and I don't know if that's your situation or not, but it should still work if you're not. You just need to do some things without thinking too much about it, like rawr sock said. Say hi to people you know, and people you don't know while you're at it! And above all, dont talk yourself out if it: just take the plunge.

Hm. last year, i was new to the school. everything was great.

this year, something is driving me differently.

You mentioned that something was bringing you down...any clue what?

People; the way they move, move their eyes, how they act, face expression, ignorance, and name calling. sometimes, i thought they could have talked shit about me. i dont know.



I can tell what's wrong with my friends by just analyzing them. It's quite obvious to know something is different.

You also said that you don't know your goals anymore. Well, thats where you should start. I don't know what else to tell you concerning that, however, other than set some for yourself! You need to just tell yourself, "Hey, snap out of it! We all go through rough patches, its true, but after we're through moping a little bit (and everyone can use a good mope now and then), we need to move on with our lives!" Do things that you love. Be around people you love. Just get yourself out of this funk anyway you think you can. Once you cheer yourself up, other people will notice, and your confidence should return.

Thanks a lot. i'm going to work it out.

[*Uronacid*]

Have you ever tried:

ACTING "AS IF"

Acting as if you are confident. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but it's a real thing. Act as if you are confident. Buy a journal, and write in it. Every time you you don't feel confident enought in yourself empty your feelings into the journal. You don't have to wright about the fear. Just wright about whatever your feeling or thinking at the time. You will begin to see a predominant reason that keeps you from being confident. It will help you understand yourself. Talk to trusted friends about what you learn about yourself. If you know someone that knows you very well they can tell you what they see in you, and help you by sharing their perspective.

It's not going to have an instant effect, but it will help. ;] It helped me.

[think!IMAGINARIL...]

Believe me, i say "Hi" a million time and they will ignore it. whenever they see me, they act "blind" and avoided me. This was this "friend" who didnt make eye contact w/ me when i say, hi. Usually, my friend would look into my eyes and smile. But, it was the opposite. i notice something was changing. Yeah, i'm really sentitive about people's way of talking and looking.

I mean, i lack the most confident and self-esteem. And, i shouldnt feel be like that.
So, do you think i should say, "hi" anyways? especially when people ignore me or whatever?

Yeah, just say hi and be friendly for now.. If they keep ignoring you, then just go find new friends. They're mean. But yeah. If they continue ignoring you, it probably means you did something to piss them off or you changed a lot or something.. OR they changed.
Maybe confronting them will work?

[l3luemoon]

i know how you feel, when i transfered schools my sophmore year at the start i was all talkative cause i just wanted to make some quick friends and then i just stoped. i am a shy person and i always have been but my freshman year was the year where i put that all aside, i became the loud funny guy in class that every one knew. but since i transfered i just don't seem to care because i know that once i graduate im gone for this place forever (only 8 more months) but now that my senior year has come i feel like i have wasted my high school years and i want to make this year as good as my freshman year but now im rusty and im shy. you just have to force your self. if some one doesn't say hi to you one day then just keep on saying hi to them every day. you can't fear being rejected.

[*krnxswat*]

f**king loser. What grade are you in, 5th? It's called puberty.

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

AWWW!! its okay i kno that feeling is bad but its all the process of become a teenager you end up in a bad stage, but the important part is trying to get through that stage. The hell if people dont say hi to you and you say hi to them just let them be..dont you think you should feel relieve to get rid of bad friends? i agree with Uronacid just act as if you are confident almost everybody does. i kno a gurl who is totally outgoing and i became really cool friends with her, she is really popular but once i got to know her she is the most shyest person ever! i asked her wat the heck like why is she so popular if shes so shy. she just told me she just acts like shes all that when really shes not.

and if you dont want to act, jus be yourself the hell with everybody else. in fact the HELL WITH EVERYTHING.