fear of the unknown Options

[scottss7]

so basically i met this girl 3 months before summer, i spent the rest of those weeks getting to know her and getting a truly strong liking for her because she was unlike any of the other typical high school students. so we eventually liked eachother mutually but she was afraid of letting me make any moves (ie one night as i was leaving her house, i went for a kiss, and she quickly said no and kissed me on the cheek) she eventually ended up doing some things and "liking" another guy at the same time. and through this entire endeavor i realized she still wasnt completely over her ex and i came to the conclusion that she didnt want to be serious with me because old feelings hadn't been set to rest. so then came the lies which really took a toll on me and i told her i couldnt talk to her for a month because it was too painful( this is at the beginning of summer) so the entire summer goes by, we talk on different drunken occasions never meeting any resolve. this month that went by turned into the entire summer and we didnt hangout or any such thing. i find out now that she ended up running back to her old boyfriend over the summer. but then out of the blue just a few weeks into school she talks to me saying how she misses me and wishes we could be friends even though she thinks she doesnt deserve it (she led me on and other things). so me being over the situation and finally over her ( took most of the summer) i took a risk and decided to talk to her and everything went as well as i could've hoped. and now its as if we those three months in which we didnt talk hadnt even happened and when we hangout its as if we're back three months ago. it only took one time of being together again for my feelings to come back. even though i've already promised myself i wouldnt like her again to avoid any pain. and when we hangout i sense flirtation and such. and it seems when we talk about what happened (the things that made me have to cut her off from my life) she tries to justify it. and she says shes a changed person now not interested in alchohol (the fuel to her one night hookups) so i just wonder if its worth the risk to tell her i like her again because of my great fear of rejection and i dont want to say that and lose her as a friend because she's one of the only girls who i can relate to.

[pinayprincess]

this situation kind reminds me of my on & off ex... well yeah, if you THINK it is worth the risk. im sure you care about her a lot so why not? but you should express to her like how you feel... i mean you both are single.. theres a lot of advantage OPEN-- including her ex.

[scottss7]

and her ex is now off at college, and the timing for when she came to me to be friends again was basically the week after.

[pinayprincess]

LAME!.. i think thats pathetic... like think about it, she ditches you for her ex, and as soon as her ex leaves she flies back at you? ahh you gotta break it down to her that you like her... like nicely though you know? idk it sounds like sooner or later shes gonna hurt you..

[Listelle]

I'd be really wary if I were you. Her history was so shakey and .. I'd be really careful if you do decide to admit anything to her.

[*Uronacid*]

Don't do it... ugh, that s so retarded... if you do do it, let her ask you out... it really seems like she wants to make all the descitions, and she isn't attracted if she doesn't feel like she is in control. I mean, it really sounds like she went off with her ex as soon as you started making moves to progress into the relationship. You let her go off on her own, giving her control over the relationship she had with you, and now she wants you back.

f**k that shit man, I wouldn't be able to handle it... but if you want to try... that's your choice. I would just tell her straight up that you strictly only want to be friends with her.

[scottss7]

and now her best friend is confronting me on if i like her. i didnt say either way because i know that they tell eachother everything. and of course as we're hanging out i bring that up, and she just talked about how her friend is so nosy in other people's business. first question, does her worrying about her friend being nosy about such a thing mean something? second question, if i am to confront her about my ever growing feelings, what happens if she just says no? is it even possible to still be friends after i put myself out so far like that only to be shot down? third question, i know flirtation can be in a way of two friends, but does touching mean anything...such as somewhat wrestling (don't think of anything brutal just playful) over an object ? and the fourth and final question, she just had a rather serious boyfriend (a love/hate relationship) but she says she hates him, or is really mad at him. does this mean my attempt is pointless?